BAU- Spencer Reid x reader

chapter 21- Holiday Trouble (part 2)

Idk how I feel abt this chapter

I walk into the BAU. I was just transferred last Friday, and now today is my first day of work. I'm nervous, but trying to keep a confident and prepared expression on my face as I walk into SSA Aaron Hotchner's office.
"You must be Agent Y/l/n," he stands up, offering his hand out to me.
I shake his hand with a "Yes sir."
"So what made you interested in the BAU?" he asks, getting right into the questions.
"Well I've always been interested in the analysis of human behavior, and the reputation you guys have is incredible."
"You were a psychologist, correct?"
"Yes sir, I worked as a communication specialist for a police department in Missouri before I became an assistant psychologist, basically a psychologist just without the full phD."
"Ah. Your former bosses said your work ethic is one of a kind. I can already tell you're intelligent and eager to be here."
"I am," I can't help but smiling.
"We're glad to have you, agent."
"Glad to be here."

Time is ticking ticking ticking as Spencer is still missing. I'm out of my mind worried for him. What would I... what would I do with myself if he didn't make it?
     I can't think like that. I really want to get on a plane and fly to Las Vegas right now. But Hotch was right, I can't help him in this mind set. I'm too close to this case.
     It's hard to think of Spencer as a case or a victim.
     I need him to come home. As selfish as it is, I need him because I won't know what to do without him. Spencer is all I have other than my family in Missouri. He's my everything.
     Moments of my life with Spencer flash through my head as I get a text from Hotch. They found the unsub, but Spencer wasn't there. They're taking him into questioning now. Images of Spencer's body in a ditch somewhere threaten to cause sobs to break from my throat again.

      "You can kiss me now." I recall saying that day in my apartment after my injury. He took care of me, and I'm not there to take care of him now.
     He looks taken aback, and I smile. He then cups my cheeks slowly with both of his hands and presses his lips softly to mine.
     He was so gentle, scared he'd hurt me, scared I would regret allowing him to kiss my lips.

"God, Y/n, you look so good in my clothes." he says, and my heart skips a million beats. My body aches to touch his.
     I remember our first time. He was so gentle, but needy. He was perfect. I love how my body reacts to his touch. Fire.
     I yearn, now, to touch him. Just to wrap my arms around him and know he's okay. Know he's safe. I need to hold Spencer in my arms and tell him I love him, I need to know that he isn't hurt, that he isn't in pain. But how can he not be when he's been taken?
     Spencer's face when he told me about the dilaudid tugs at my heart. He was so sad... he was ashamed. If I had been there, I would've ended the addiction before it truly started. I would've at least tried. He didn't deserve that, he doesn't deserve this.
     I know Spencer still thinks about Tobias. I can't even imagine what is going through his head right now.

     "You must be Agent Y/l/n!" a blonde haired lady in a colored outfit exclaims.
     I reach my hand out to her. "That's me."
     "I'm a hugger," she wraps her arms around me in a hug. When she pulls away she introduces herself. "Penelope Garcia, technical analyst."
     "Nice to meet you," I smile.
    My new boss, SSA Hotchner comes up to me with another blonde lady at his side. She's gorgeous.
     "SSA Hotchner, nice to see you again."
     "Please, just call me Hotch," he chuckles without a smile. "This is Agent Jennifer Jareau, JJ, she'll help you get the whole liaison thing down."
     We shake hands. She introduces me to the rest of the team.
     "That's Derek Morgan," JJ tells me, pointing to a very fine looking man drinking a cup of coffee. He shoots me a wink. "Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, and you've met Garcia. Where's Spencer?"
I shake hands with everyone she introduced me to. "Oh Spencer, this is our new agent Y/n Y/l/n."
I turn around to face a remarkably attractive man with fluffy brown hair. "Dr Reid," I say.
"Hel-lo?" He says awkwardly.
"Sorry, I-I've read some things you wrote about the BAU and some cases."
"Ah. Nice to meet you, Agent Y/l/n."
"Y/n is fine," I say, moving my dirty blonde hair out of my face.

As soon as I saw him, I new he was something special. Spencer was awkward, but in an almost charming way. I called him Dr Reid until he told me "Y-You don't have to call me doctor. Reid or Spencer is fine."
"Okay. Spencer."

"Y/n, you need to eat something." My mom tells me in the morning. I hadn't even realized the sun came up. I fell asleep for a little bit, but it was restless.
"I'm not hungry," I say.
"I know you're worried, but-"
"I'm not hungry."
Elijah sits down beside me on the couch, he puts his hand on top of mine.
"What's wrong?" Zoey asks.
"Someone I care for very much is in trouble."
"I'm sorry, aunty."
I pick her up and put her in my lap. "Me too, Zo bug."

Hotch doesn't answer his phone. He's most likely with Jack, so I don't call again.
I'm still fighting off tears, trying to stay calm in front of my family. I just need some news. But I'm not sure how I'd handle bad news right now.
Time continues to pass as I trudge through the day. Bags under my eyes become more prominent, but sleep is the last thing on my mind.
I'm so worried, it's making me sick. Like literally sick, I... I rush to the bathroom, and my Christmas dinner is flushed down the toilet.
"Hey Y/n, we're headed to see the decor before they take it down, then we're going to get some hot chocolate and donuts. Want to join?"
"No thanks, Mom."
"Y/n, you can't just sit here and worry yourself sick all day."
"Elijah, the man that I love is in danger. I can't go out right now."
He mouths an 'okay' before leading his daughter out the door.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Luke asks.
"No it's okay. You go have fun."
Jenny, Luke, Elijah, Zoey, Emma, and Mom head out the door into the chilled December air.
I'm left alone with the deafening silence, only my terrified thoughts fill the void.

We're seated at the table eating our hot food. My face is sad as I pick at my bowl with the spoon. I don't feel like eating.
It's been too long since I've heard anything. Guilt and worry eat at my stomach, nauseating me.
A knock sounds on the door just before everyone is almost finished with dinner. I get up to open it, needing a distraction and for my family not to stare at me with sympathy as they eat.
I open the door and...

hehe hope you enjoy<3