BAU- Spencer Reid x reader

chapter 23- Goodbye For Now

     "I know I promised I wouldn't leave you, but I have to do this."
     A tear falls down Spencer's face. "I know," he whispers.
     "But this isn't goodbye. It's goodbye for now."
     "Goodbye for now," he repeats.

earlier- January 24th

     "Y/n, this is serious business. If you don't think you can handle it, don't go."
     "Rossi, I can handle it. I'm the only one of us who knows this case inside and out, I was there when it first appeared."
     "Okay, I trust you."
     "Thank you," I say as we walk into the briefing room where the rest of our team is waiting.
    "A gang in Missouri has migrated to Indiana over the past few years. They are known to be very violent towards men, but for some reason they don't hurt women unless they feel they have to," Hotch explains. He nods at me.
     "I was there when a case first popped up that lead to this gang. We never caught them, but we had a good lead." I take a deep breath. "I'm going to Indiana undercover. I'm going to try to get as many insights as I can on these people so we can catch them. They're said to have killed over 30 people, 10 of those being innocent lives."
     Spencer looks up at me in shock. The only people who knew I was going to be on this mission were Rossi, Hotch, and myself.
     "Y/l/n has done this undercover thing before, but this will be a lot longer. A few months, possibly up to a year. She will need all of your support," Rossi says.
     I don't dare look at Spencer. He's sitting down with his hands in his lap. I keep my eyes to the back of the room, standing next to Hotch.
     "You guys don't need to worry. I've got this."
     "Of course you do, Y/n," Emily smiles, but I can see the nerves in her eyes.
     We finish our meeting in the briefing room, and on my way out, Hotch says my name.
     "You'll need to leave your cell phone here. Here's you new phone, get another burner in Indiana if you need to. You are only to contact me or your new partner's supervisor."
     "Yes sir," I nod my head.
     "Your name will be Sophia Ridget, you're from another Indiana gang, but they got busted. Everything else is up to you."
     I'm sitting at my office, feeling Spencer's eyes burn into my soul, when a knock comes at my door. "Come in," I say.
     "Y/n, this is your new partner, Agent Miles," Hotch comes in with two other males. Agent Miles offers me his hand, and I shake it.
     "He will be there to help if you need any assistance. I've arranged for both of you to be in the same apartment building."
     "Nice to meet you, Agent Miles."
     "Likewise," he says.
     "SSA Chuck Kenny," Miles's supervisor shakes my hand.
     "Agent Y/l/n," I say, even though he already knows my name.
     "Call me if you need anything," he says to Miles and me before leaving.
     I nod my head. "You leave tomorrow morning. I'll leave you two to talk," Hotch says.
     "Are you ready for this, Agent Y/l/n?"
     "As ready as I'll ever be."
     "Basically my job is to help you get information. I was a technical analyst before I became an agent. I'll be there when you need help, or if you just need someone."
     "Great, thanks. It sucks that we can't talk to anyone."
     "Yeah, it's weird. But it makes sense."
     "Of course, I wouldn't want to put any of them in danger." I look to Spencer, and Agent Miles notices my gaze.
     He shakes my hand one more time before leaving to pack his clothes. I pick up the stack of files from my desk and take them to Hotch's office.
     "I wish you would've told me," Spencer says when I reach down the steps onto the main part of the floor.
     "I wasn't allowed to until the briefing."
     "Why does it have to be you? Why can't Morgan or Hotch or someone else go?"
     "Do you not trust me to do this?"
     "Of course I trust you. But I would be less worried if it were Morgan," he says.
     "Ouch," Derek says, taking a sip of his coffee. "That hurt, man."
     I chuckle and turn my attention back to Spencer. "I'll be okay." I grab his hand and hold it in mine.
     "Okay," he breathes, squeezing my hand. "Can I come over tonight?"
     "Of course."
     We finish up everything we need to do for the day, I answer some emails, finish some paperwork, and call my mother to tell her what's going on. I can't tell her what I'm doing or where I am going. All she knows is that I'm going undercover and won't be able to speak to her for a while. I tell her I love her and ask her to tell my brothers that too. I give her Spencer's number to call for whenever she gets anxious.
     "You coming?" I ask Spencer while putting on my jacket.
     "l'll be there in a sec. I have some things to do," Spencer tells me.
     "Okay." I walk to the elevator, and I leave to my car.
     When I finally get home, I set down my bags, take off my shoes and coat, and plop down onto the couch.
     I'm almost falling asleep when Spencer comes in. "Need help packing?"
     "Actually, yes," I say sleepily.
     We head up to my room and begin to pack. Spencer helps me back clothes into a suitcase.
     "Taking this?" Spencer asks, holding up a red lacy lingerie piece.
     I blush. "No."
     He tosses it at me, and I say "I bought it for you, but I was too nervous to wear it."
     "Maybe you can when you get back."
     I throw it at him. "If you're lucky." He laughs.
     He doesn't bring up me leaving at all. I think he's either in denial, or wants to forget about it for the night. I don't pack all of my clothes, just some things that I think I'll need: a couple pairs of jeans, a few dresses, some casual and nicer tops, boots, flats, sneakers, and a jacket. I put a notebook in my suitcase so that I can track everything about these people.
     It's around nine by the time we're done. We order takeout and eat it at my kitchen table.
     "I'm gonna miss you," I say.
     "Can we do this tomorrow? I don't want to think about it right now."
     "Okay," I take a bite of my chicken.
     Soon after eating, we head upstairs to get some sleep. I doze off with my head on Spencer's chest and my arm wrapped around his stomach. He kisses my forehead before I'm completely out of it.