PROTECT YOU FOREVER/ BTS/ NAMJOON

25. Phone call

Sam's POV:

I sit on the sofa looking at the blank TV screen. I sigh, why did I react like that? I can't believe I yelled at the manager. F*ck is it really getting that worse? But I can't bring myself to go back to it.

I sit there holding my head in my hands. No I can't, I can't go through that phase again it doesn't help anyway. I didn't go to work today as am not in my right mind, I need to figure out a solution before this gets any worse. I think for a while before the silence is broken by a call.

"Hey, how you doing? "

"Not really good, Jay I don't know what to do. " We start off directly without any greetings.

"Ok ok calm down, did you go to work? "

"No."

"You should go, being around them can help."

"Maybe, I don't know, am scared I might do something."

"You won't trust me. I wanted to ask you did you tell them about it? "

"No am not telling them anything. They will judge me, I can't stand that."

"Listen first, you overthink a lot. They won't. And one more thing locking others doesn't help. You know it. And from when did you start worrying about people's opinions."

"Hmm." My voice shakes. Am scared they won't look at me the same way, if they know. What if they think of me as a psychopath or anything.

"Ok, I actually called to say that... Um... You know... " His voice brings me back.

"What? " Wait why am I thinking something bad.

"You know, your episodes have returned back more intense than before... So maybe you might wanna start your medication again. "

"What? Jay you know what happened last time. I can't risk it. "

"I know that, it's just that maybe talk to your psychiatrist call her... "

"No am not going back to it. " I cut him almost yelling.
"Hey calm down, you know it's important you can't run away everytime. "

"No."

"We will increase dosage, and see it might work this time. "

"No no no. " Am shouting now. With every word my anger is increasing.

"Listen, you won't go back to drinking and smoking. Or you are coming back here. It is risky to stay alone. "

"Just shut up Jay, am not coming back home, or starting that shitty medication. "

"We can try something else to reduce the side effects. "

"Just shut up, am not means am not. I don't want those drugs. I can survive this like all other times. "

"Yea you can, like last time you almost jumped off the roof, I had caught you in time. Or like that time you threw the mirror out of your window. "

"Shut up don't remind me those I know... "

"That time we were there to help you deal with it. What are you going to do now tell me. Tell me. " His voice authorative and loud.

"I... I... "

"You can't do anything, all that can help is go back to medication. Or am getting you back here."

"I won't. Just shut the f*ck up. I can deal with my problems. I don't need you or anybody babying me. "

"Sam, look at you yelling at this, how are you gonna deal with that week tell me. Can you survive hallucinations. "

"Shut up... " I yell my lungs out, tears streaming down my face. I cut the call immediately.