The Boundaries of Love

●26●

Preety places a mug of steaming coffee in front of me, “Here.” she smiles, “How are you lately? We are not seeing enough of you.” she seeps from her mug, while she asks me casually.

I sigh, “NewAge is consuming all my time.” she looks at me with a frown and then her eyes move towards my ring. The look which I am too accustomed to flashes in her eyes. She too wants to know what I am going to do with my life.

It’s been three months. Every day comes with a new set of problems. People who used to ask me about him, have stopped asking. As if they already know that he is not coming back. I have managed to gather my wit and email him thrice, those got delivered but I didn’t get any reply to any of them. Thinking he might need more time, I have stopped emailing him. But after three months, my patience has been wearing off. I need to see him, I need to talk to him about us. Maybe I am being selfish, but I am done waiting for him.

And it’s all because of Nirmala aunty. Though it looked like Shravan was closer to his father, in reality, he loved his mother more. “Nirmala aunty just ruined everything.” I grumble. Preety looks at me as if she is surprised to hear my accusation. “What? She waited all these years to take revenge! Who does that?”

Preety shakes her head, “I don’t see her fault here.”

“Of course, Ram uncle is guilty, still she is . . .”

She smiles, “I don’t see her fault here.”

“How?”

Preety traces her finger around the rim of her mug, “You know, people always think, or maybe it’s our society that forces us to think, no relationship is above of the relationship with your parents.” I arch my eyebrows, “Which is true. But, Sumo, we randomly say, she is like my mother, or like my sister; he is like my father or brother, even we say he or she is like my child, but do we ever say, he is like my husband, or she is like my wife?” when I fail to answer her, she smiles, “We don’t. You know why? Because, we can’t share our significant others. What Ram uncle did to Nirmala aunty, this sin has no forgiveness, knowingly, or unknowingly doesn’t matter.” She sighs, “You may not understand now, because you are not married. But I can tell one thing, Sumo, that humiliation, that insult, that feeling of inadequacy that my love is not enough for my husband is unbearable. And to top that he came home with the proof of his infidelity. I am amazed, that she actually loved Shravan, if I were her, I would have killed your Bhaiya in bare hands.” She chuckles, “But jokes apart, she saw herself in you, so if we think open-mindedly, she was actually trying to save you.”

“I don’t know what to say.” I sigh, “I am just tired of all these. I heard what Maa and Papa were talking about the other day. They want me to get married. I don’t blame them, but I can’t even think about anyone else. At one moment I thought about how I should move on with my life, and at another, I am still stuck in the time zone where I spent beautiful moments with Shravan. I always knew I loved him, but now I can guarantee, I love him more.”

Preety laughs heartily, “That my sister, is love. The more you suppress it, the more it bounces back with full force. I guess you should wait, no matter what. He needs time, Sumo, and you have to be very patient.”

“What if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if he never calls?”

“Then we will move on.” She shrugs. But the very thought sinks my heart to an unimaginable dark pit. How am I supposed to move on when I have already forgotten to live on my own? I look at my ring, it looks beautiful in the evening light. But it also reminds me of the void that has been created the moment Shravan chose to leave.

The next day, I called Akshay while driving towards the NewAge. In these three months, he has become a constant entity in my life. If anyone who is close enough to Shravan to know where he is is him. “Have you?” I ask him, expecting a different answer, but as usual, he answers with a sigh, “I am sorry, I keep bothering you, Akshay. But,”