Percy POV
Trigger warning... (Mentions of self harm and)
After Gabe leaves my room I feel so dirty and used. Tears stream down my face and I curse myself for being so weak. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I fight back? My body feels completely numb from the beating I just received. Poseidon would definitely be disgusted after he found out about this. He definitely wouldn't want to see me again. The thought of it makes my heart clench and a fresh stream of tears make their way down my face. He's become the father I always wished for but never had in a span of just a few weeks. If he decided he didn't want me I would probably go into depression.
Why did I always have to fuck things up. He's going to hate me. He was more of a parent to me than smelly Gabe and as much as I hate to say it my own mom. Sure my mom loved me and did her best to take care of me but she was never really there. I understood that her work was important and she needed to put food on the table especially with Gabe using all the money for drugs and gambling. I just wished that sometimes shed pay more attention to me.
I sound so needy. I can't even be grateful for what I have. He's right. I'm a selfish brat and i deserve to be punished for it. No wonder my dad left. He didn't want a failure such as me and neither does Poseidon. I reach down under my bed and pull out a small square cardboard box.
I promised myself I wouldn't do this. It was even my new years resolution. That I would stop cutting, but I need to feel it now. Poseidon will find out soon but at least it won't hurt as much when he rejects me. Fuck. When did I get so attached to him. I take the green blade out of the box slowly as if I'm waiting for someone to burst into the room and snatch them away from me but that doesn't happen.
I bring it up to my wrist. The exact same place I made my first cut. The scar faded long ago and it looks as if nothing ever happened. Just as I'm about to place it in my skin my phone buzzes next to me causing me to jump and drop the razor. I timidly reach out to my phone my heart beating out of my chest to look at the text. Its from Poseidon.
I won't be able to hang out this week cause I have a conferences in Europe. We can do something when I get back though. Goodnight Percy💕
I don't know why but that text made me feel better. I didn't feel like cutting anymore. I looked at the razor on the floor and tears sprung to my eyes. What was I doing? What would he say if he found out about this? I didn't want him to think of me as weak. A pathetic depressed kid who couldn't take care of himself. He once told me that I was stronger than I know. Maybe it was true. Maybe I didn't have to go through all this shit. I didn't want to disappoint him so sending a quick reply I slowly took the razor placing it in the box with all the other cutting tools and threw them in the bin in my bathroom. I took a quick shower and cleaned up all my injuries and bandaged them.
I got ready for bed but then the little black box caught my eye again. I couldn't risk any temptations. I took the box downstairs and put it outside with all the other trash. It was trash day tomorrow so it would be gone by the time I woke up. I seriously hope I made the right decision because it took a lot out of me to throw it away like that.
Poseidon POV
My head hit the pillow ready to get some sleep when my phone started ringing annoyingly on my bedside table. I was just about to throw that gods dammed thing out the window when a thought that I could be Percy crossed my mind. I answered without looking at the ID caller.
" Poseidon. He escaped this morning. There was a breach in the security personnel and we had a mole working for that son of a bitch." An anxious voice that was definitely NOT Percy's yelled through the phone.
"What?" I was still half asleep and had no idea who I was talking to. I could be dreaming for all I knew.
"Gabe Ugliano. The man you said was a danger, he's gone." Just like that he had all my attention. All tiredness left my body as I sat up on the bed panicking.
"What?! How the hell did this happen? Do you know how an absolute threat that man is?!" To say I was angry would be the understatement of the year. What if he was on the streets? He could be doing gods know what right now. Or worse what if he went back to Percy's. Percy could be scared to death right now or worse hurt.
It hurt my heart to even think about that and I could feel myself tearing up at the thought of anything happening to him. I felt the need to go and make sure he was okay. To protect him from that monster. But I couldn't. I wasn't his guardian nor did I have any relations with him. It would look absolutely absurd if I did that. I might even get arrested. I could be some weird deranged stalker. Of course there was this feeling that he could be my son but I brushed that thought away quickly. What are the odds? IT was like looking at sixteen year old me when I saw him but that didn't really count.
I didn't focus on what hades was telling me the rest of the phone cal and texted Percy. I made it sound as casual as possible and I felt like a burden was lofted off my shoulders when he replied. I desperately wanted to keep the conversation going, to ask about Gabe but I couldn't. So reluctantly shut off my phone and tried to go through some files for work because I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep that night.
The conference I was to go to this week would last six days starting Wednesday and I was leaving on Tuesday afternoon. I didn't want to go considering the fact that Gabe was free now but it was important for work.
I just couldn't shake this gut feeling that something bad was going to happen while I was in Europe.
