Dear diary. I mean journal! (A drarry fic)

Grass is green

TW

// anxiety/ panic attack///

(I use these methods by myself when I have an anxiety or a panic attack remember that talking about it helps a great deal and to never put yourself down for it!")

Harry woke up with a start his lungs constricted making unbearable chest pains and tears poured from his eyes in no way slowing down as his dream images popped into his mind. He hugged himself as he imagined Cedric's body falling to the floor lifeless eyes staring at him.

Harry sobbed into his knees as the image of his godfathers pained smiled as he watched Bellatrix chant happily.

"Harry!" Ron yelled for the fifth time. Harry shook and looked up at Ron who hugged him tightly

"It's okay mate I'm right here," Ron said soothingly biting his lip as his friend cried into Ron's shoulder

"I could have saved them" Harry mumbled and Ron hushed them

"There's no way you could have done anything mate. They wouldn't want you to be like this. Just breath. It isn't your fault" Ron said as someone knocked on the door.

"One minute!" Ron yelled rubbing Harry's back as Harry took deep breaths

"It's okay Harry you can't blame yourself. Your feelings are valid but you can't blame yourself" Ron mumbled reaching over for a glass of water and handing it to Harry. Harry drunk the liquid slowly to keep his mind from wondering he thought about how cold the water was as it tracked down his throat and how it felt odd against his warm lips. He swallowed thickly as Ron got up to open the door

"Oh hey, mione!" Ron said and turned to look at Harry who nodded and Ron opened the door to let Hermione in. She walked towards Harry and gave him a huge motherly hug and sat next to him

"As I was coming down here I saw lavender brown fall down the stairs" Harry laughed with Hermione as he continued to drink the cold liquid and Ron jumped onto Harry's bed with them and they all began to talk.

"Oh, I saw Neville asking Luna out a few days ago! Ginny tore him a new one!" Ron laughed Harry smiled at his friends as they talked for a few minutes about funny experiences that had happened around or to them recently.

"You guys think I should tell Draco how I feel?" Harry said after a moment. Hermione and Ron looked at him with worried expressions

"Weren't you gonna tell the daily prophet that he rejected you?" Hermione said and Harry nodded

"Yeah. But I think I should tell him. Like actually tell him" Ron and Hermione smiled softly at Harry

"I think it sounds wonderful Harry" Hermione assured smiling at him as he drank some water

"Yeah?" Harry smiled at his friends. They all nodded and got ready for the day. There were no classes that day so they decided on taking a walk through the school.

The trio walked together and made fun of muggle schools

"Ron you won't believe it. So we like to have to wait in like for lunch right. And if you don't any who don't eat but most people don't eat because it's not god food" Hermione said and Harry laughed

"Yeah, also the classes are awful especially the teachers. Like the other day, I heard a muggle-born call a professor Mr just because in the muggle world professors are usually people who study for years to teach advanced classes even going as far as to be a doctor" Harry said. Ron's eyes were filled with fascination as the two spoke

"Really?" Ron pondered what it would be like to attend a muggle school l.

"Yeah muggle schools are kinda terrible" Harry laughed running into something and causing him to fall

"Ah sorry" Harry winced as he hit the floor and he looked up to see Draco with his now very well know cigarette in between his lips but something else less known clasped to his arm

Astoria Greengrass clung onto Draco like a koala but not in a cute way. Draco was visibly uncomfortable taking a long drag from the cigarette so he wouldn't have to talk to her

"Sorry Potter" Draco smiled extending a hand to help Harry up. Harry took the hand and thanked Draco

"Hey, can I talk to you later I wanna tell you something," Harry said looking Draco directly in the eyes and Draco's eyes grew wide. His hands flew up to Harry's cheeks and their faces were just a nudge away from touching. Harry gasped in surprise and blushed as Astoria gasped in disgust

"What happened?" Draco said scanning Harry's eyes

"What?" Harry replied confused

"Your eyes are different today what happened?" Hermione, Ron, and Astoria watched Draco with great fascination

"Oh, nothing! Don't worry about it. I'll see you later though!" Harry smiled awkwardly as Dracos hands were still pressing his cheeks together

"Don't lie to me potty!" Draco teased

"Come now dragon! Leave him alone!" Astoria said pulling Draco back and staring at Harry as Draco rolled his eyes and tapped the cigarette to let the ash fell

"He doesn't want your help" Astoria continued and Harry felt a growl form in the back of his throat

"Besides you should be looking into my eyes instead," she said turning to Draco and kissing him softly. Harry's heart jumped to his throat as he watched Astoria kiss him. Draco pushes her away softy and turned to Harry again

"I'll see you later scar head" he smiled painfully Harry turned away quickly pushing past Astoria who smiled broadly

"Harry Wait!" Hermione and Ron called in unison chasing after Harry. Draco bit his lip tapping the ash away once more and taking another huff from it.

"Astoria don't speak to me until I get this sorted out," Draco said

"And chew some gum or something I may be a smoker but you need to learn how to have a mint," Draco said clear distaste in his voice