Our Yesterdays and Tomorrows

Hello?

Summary:

NamSeok post breakup phase when BTS is no more.

Inspired by Adele's "Hello".

~oooOooo~

Translators Notes:

-Jagiyah/Chagiyah:Term of endearment meaning honey, sweetie, love, or darling. It is used betweencouples (normally younger couples as the older generations do not use thisphrase) in a relationship to address each other. These couples can be eithermarried or unmarried and the term can be used to address both women and men. InKorea, the word literally means "Self", so you are literally callingthe other person as yourself therefore implying that the other person is yourself,your other half, your soulmate, etc.

~oooOooo~

Hello, it's me, I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet? To go over everything. They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing.

I've dialed your number a hundred times, but I always hang up. I am a coward. You were right. You don't know I have your number. Or your passcode. I never get far enough to type it in. I don't know what I would say.

"Hey," is not an appropriate greeting after all that we have been through.

"Hoseok-ah," isn't either. "I'm sorry," maybe?

I do not know. And that scares me. Hurts me. We used to be so close...

Now we don't even talk. Not to, or about, each other. Not in your case anyway.

I have apologized to you a thousand times through the camera and yet, I cannot bring myself to do it over the phone or...face to face.

If you were to punch me, I would deserve it. I would let you.

I would like to think that I have grown. Matured. Healed the emotional hurt inside of me that led to all the things I didn't say...and everything I did. If I could go back and do it all again... I only think I would have asked you why. But I see why now. Too little, too late.

I've been in America for a month now. Recovery and...study. I have left the group and...filed for termination of my contract with BigHit Entertainment.

I wish you would agree to meet with me. I know we will never be like wewere before but...I still owe you an apology. An explanation.

~oooOooo~

Hello, can you hear me? I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be. When we were younger and free, I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet. There's such a difference between us, And a million miles.

Do you remember that time we went to Disneyland in California? We thought we were so big to have earned such a trip. I see now what our managers were trying to do. They succeeded. We followed their every word. Believed in everything they said. Our lives were magic, and they were our fairy godmothers.

Things changed so quickly after that. Our group took off, and we were all over the place at once, and it was such a rush. Until the rush fell off and the nightmare began. The monster came and took us away and no matter what I do the monsters still live inside my head. They lurk around every corner and they haunt me in my sleep and here I remain nursing my wounds and screaming your name into the night.

I'm healing now of course. Slowly but surely. I'd like to think you are doing well in your recovery. All of you...

I feel the worst betrayal was when I had manager hyung inform you of my departure instead of telling you myself. I just...didn't know what to say, or...how to say it. I should have reached out to you and apologized before I said anything to anybody. I am sorry for that. I cannot imagine how you must have felt. Maybe you felt as I did? I do not know. Our love for one another had long since died out.