Flaws of a wife

Chapter 9🍃

Astagafirillah!
Astagfirillah!
Astagfirillah ya rabbi!

Ya rabbi forgive our sins,
Ya rabbi help us get rid of our bad addictions ya rabbi.
Ya rabbi protect and guide us to the righteous part.
Aameen.

Have you read suratul khaf yet??well if not you've still got remaining time to.

Jumaat mubarak y'all🥀🥀

🥀FLAWS OF A WIFE🥀

      🥀chapter 9🥀

Chapter dedicated to @zeeeee_123🥰🥰

I woke up to the first call of the subh prayer.I prayed raka'atul fajr first then I prayed subh,I sat on the mat for a while reciting zikr before I asked Allah to help and guide me through this rough part of my life cause I know and believe he's the only persons that has got solutions to all problems of mankind.

It was already seven am when I was done and I didn't felt like going back to sleep so I decided to take a warm bath,I got dressed into an A lined shaped plane fabric gown that was decorated with some sparkling stones,I applied zero makeup with the exception of some kohl that I lined my eyes with.

The house felt quiet as always as I passed the dinning room and went straight to the kitchen.I prepared some pancakes with with sausage filling and then dribbled some honey on top.I set everything up on the table while the tv was on and show me the meaning of being lonely-backstreet boys was playing.

"So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimping love
So hard to believe walk with me
Night to night so soon become
Wild nd free I could feel sun
Your every wish will be done"

"Show me the  meaning of being lonely
This is the feeling I need to worry
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There is someone missing in my heart".....

"Ina kwana anty."I heard Bintu greeted as the music came to a halt due.

"Lfy lau bintu kin tashi lafia?."I answered back seating on one of the dinning chairs.

"Fine fine,let me go and take care of the kitchen."she said before starting to leave.

"Okay,the remaining is in the oven take yours and send the rest to the gateman."I said as she left.

I served myself some of the food even though am not sure if I can eat cause I felt I had zero to none appetite .

"Uwargida ran gida."I heard a voice I wasn't able to recognize but if am not mistaken then it was a voice that I should recognize because it felt familiar.

"Kamal."I exclaimed immediately he came in front of me.

"Yes me."he answered as he laughed at my reacting seeing him.

"Ya rabbi!where have you being and when did you come back from the states?."I asked surprise seeing him.

"Well I came back couple of months ago but I kept busy cause I was trying to settle my hospital that was why many people didn't know I was back and that includes you."he said as he digged into the plate of pancakes that I had just served myself.

Well kamal Adam Bichi is Mahfouz's immediate cousin that travelled to the states where he studied medicine and became an expert on gynecology.We were very close even back then since before I married Mahfouz.Kamal's dad was also my father's friend and that was how we knew each other right from the start.He travelled to the states months after my marriage where he was to do his second degree under medicine to be specialized as a gynecologist.

"You have zero to no respect for me Jamal."I heard Mahfouz's voice coming down from the stairs.

"What...I mean how ?."kamal asked chuckling as he kept on eating with his pancakes.

"Don't you know that it's indecent to come to a married man's house this early in the morning."Mahfouz continued as he sat next to me while I tried to serve him.

I felt my heart skipped for a beat when I scented the strange perfume he was wearing,a fire of jealousy raging in my heart as well as my soul.My mind kept driving me to what could have been happening between him and his wife that her fragrance got pinned to his clothing.I quickly murmured la haula wala quwwata illa billah. Seeking easiness from Allah before I drove the thought or it could probably be the death of me.

"Sorry married man,I came for a reason besides you know am weigh upset with you so I wouldn't come to your house without a valid reason."he said bringing out a white neat envelope from a brown paper.

"Oh I almost forgot,is the result out already."Mahfouz asked collecting the white paper from kamal.

"Yes it is."Kamal answered briefly.

"Kamal you know that I can't understand all this positive and negative sayings explain please."Mahfouz said giving back the white paper to kamal while I sat idle watching them closely.

"Well it says congratulations are in order because your wife is fours weeks pregnant."he said folding back the paper.

My head felt heavy immediately I heard those words,my eyes went numb for some seconds and I wasn't able to understand the next thing kamal was saying.I could hear his voice vividly but my mind wasn't able to digest what he was saying.My mind stopped reading immediately I heard the word "pregnant" coming out of Kamal's voice.

I wasn't aware of what to do or how to react,I managed to pretend to be happy and I even gathered the courage congratulate both Mahfouz and Zulaiha.I wanted to convince myself that I was happy that I was suppose to feel happy but deep down I knew something was hurting me real bad.I knew I wasn't jealous and I knew I wasn't feeling bad for them intact I felt relieved that after several years Mahfouz is going to become a father of his own.

But I just couldn't get rid of the smile plastered on Mahfouz's face since when he heard that news,the way he offered sujood thanking Allah out of happiness made me wished he got that happiness from me.I've never wanted to get pregnant this bad my entire life until now,I felt miserable and shattered ,I felt as if I've come to the end of the road without thinking what part to take next.I didn't felt more miserable until mama and one of Mahfouz's aunt hajia Rabi came immediately they heard the news.

They kept glaring at me while rubbing salts to my wound,mama was busy taking care of Zulaiha she had even said she was going to take her with her for a while before the baby gets stable saying she couldn't trust anyone with her first grandson but Mahfouz managed to convince her that he was going to take care of her to the fullest and that he won't let any harm come to her,she agreed after she made him promised to not work late which he agreed.

It really hit me hard when Hajia rabi  called me  barren.I went upstairs to my room and wiped my eyes out as if the tears would end and blood would start falling.I've never understood the meaning of barren until now I've realized that I was just giving myself false hope and so also the doctors that always said nothing was wrong with me were deceiving me.Now I know that the problem right from the start was from me and not from Mahfouz.

Now I realize the flaw was from me.

It was among the flaws I have as a wife!!

Yes flaws of a wife!!!