삼십육 - Chapter 36

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I felt no confidence as I left my band director's office

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I felt no confidence as I left my band director's office. I messed up several bars in the audition, and he made a point to show his disappointment as he went over the music with me.

"You said you would be able to handle eighteen credit hours and maintain the same level as last semester," the director said, "I know you have some issues, but if you do not improve, you may be looking at your scholarship being taken away."

I sigh and rub my temple as I leave the music building with my bag, weighing me down with a mountain of textbooks. As I walk to the cafe to wait for Haru, I pass a massive poster for a cider ad. The seven familiar faces are smiling back and I can't help but listen to the girls standing near it, swoon over all of them. I would be one of them if I weren't so pissed off at Jungkook.

I make eye contact with one of them and see her eyes widen as she gets her friend's attention. I wave slightly before rushing off. I had no patience to be asked questions about BTS today. It happened way too often in class and I was not about to do it in public either.

The cafe was bustling with college students as I entered. I found a table near the large window as I waited for Haru. Not feeling like doing homework yet, I pulled out my phone to check social media. The shock of me being friends with BTS slowly died down. I was still tagged often, but more of it was for my content, which was awesome. People would clip parts of my streams and talk about my covers often. There was hate, but I had hate before I was associated with the guys. I ignored it then and I could ignore it now. I liked interacting with fans and keeping them updated on my life.

My attention was taken away from my phone when Haru sat in the chair across from me with a huff, "I seriously think I got top three this time!"

"That's awesome, Haru! We should celebrate this weekend."

"How did you do?" she asked.

"I messed up bars 37-41. I'll be lucky if I'm in the top ten," I snort.

"Fuck, Mel. I'm sorry. You sounded so good when we practiced, though. What happened?"

I shrug and take a drink of my iced coffee, looking out the window at the people that pass by. I sounded good, but when it mattered, I choked. My fingers clumsily moved over the wooden instrument like it was foreign. The metal keys were too cold as I messed up yet again.

"I just wasn't prepared, I guess."

"Was your wrist hurting? If it was, you know he will allow you to retake it when it's responding well."

"Everyone else had to take it today. I shouldn't get to have an extra day. If there were a concert, they wouldn't move it because one student couldn't play an instrument they have been playing for years."

Haru's eyes flared with sympathy as I looked away from her. I was tired of seeing that look in everyone's eyes.

"Maybe you should go out tonight. Get your mind off of everything."

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