𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕎𝕒𝕚𝕥 // ~switz~

5

Eric woke with a start, the phone beneath him vibrating twice. He jerks it out quickly, hoping for a response from Bea. He rubs his eyes and unlocks the screen, pulling down the notification tab, sighing as he reads the preview of a text from his editor, asking 'can you check this? What timestamp should the mus-....' He locks it before letting it slide from his hands, falling next to him. He couldn't fully understand why he was so bothered about Bee, with her gone he would be free to pursue Cameron, (if he had thought he had the guts) but chalks it up to his addictive personality. Groaning quietly he stares at the ceiling, when someone knocks twice on his door, pulling him from his thoughts. He sits up quickly, crossing his legs and combing his messy hair with his fingers, then clears his throat quietly before granting them a smooth  'come in'. Mason pokes his head in, saying quickly, "Jay's coming over.. and Ryan says we're going out tonight." Without waiting for Swagger to respond he shuts the door and Eric can hear him run back down the hall. He doesn't want to go out tonight. He wants to wallow in his self pity,and smoke weed until he can't move. 'Well, I have until tonight..'

Eight o'clock rolls around and Eric is cunted when he finally leaves his room,wearing black jeans and a gray hoodie, and alot of cologne. He has an earbud in playing vaporware, which he usually reserved for gaming but he felt he needed to get pumped. He takes a seat alone in the living room on the couch while the rest talk with Ryan in the kitchen, Mason and Jay on the couch next to his, talking lowly. Although nothing was happening he was finding himself shaking, his nerves shot, and wishes he'd smoke Carolyn's weed instead of this damned sativa. After that night,he found himself longing for that familiar smell when he had anxiety,to fly weightless in comfort. "Lets go guys. Load up," Ryan says, walking across the living to the front door, Eric stands, a bit too quickly, seeing stars. He rubs his eyes with his palms and falls behind Cameron in line. He tries to shake everything off as he steps into the van,sitting between Tobi and Fitz. Cam is wearing a long sleeved black t-shirt, ripped jeans and a black cap. As Eric settled in his seat he was struck with a remarkable smell, the same smell from the night after Carolyn's; but he didn't know where it was coming from. He rose up and looked around as if he could spot it, but felt silly and sat back quickly. "Do you smell that? What is that?" He asked Tobi quietly,she sniffs at the air and shrugs. He turns back towards the front as the van lurches forward, pulling out. He considers asking Cameron but he's unsure whether he's angry with him or not after last night but as the smell grows stronger he's forced to question him, "do you know what that smell is? It smells good." Cam sniffs around and then picks up his collar and smells it, "is it this?" He holds out his shirt for Eric to smell. Hesitantly Eric leans in close and is suddenly calmed as he breathes in Cameron's shirt deeply groaning ever so quietly. Cameron chuckles, "yeah, i liked it too. Called forest fantasies or something, I don't know." He finishes shrugging,  still leaning over to Swagger who only nods, agreeing politely,but his mind is racing. That was the smell,it was Cameron's cologne. But, why would he smell Cam's cologne when having a lucid dream? That isn't something that normally happens he thought. Feeling lucky and with curiosity consuming him he prods further, "Do you remember the other day after Carolyn's?.. Do you.. know what happened after we got home? I had a strange dream that night." A pink tinge fills Cams cheeks, he laughs quietly, "well I wanted to smoke with everyone.. but no one stayed up long enough," he scours at the back of Matt and Mason's heads sitting in front of them. "And you were so stoned you just came in and sat down on the couch and like 4 seconds later you were asleep." He laughed softly and smiled,"I figured if Mason found you he would like draw a dick on your face or something.." he scratches the back of his neck and lowered his voice, "so I was hoping you would just take a nap and I stayed with you,but you didn't wake up after half an hour." He looks down at his lap lowering his voice even more to now only a small mumble, "so I picked you up and took you to your bed." Eric felt instantly calmed, the explanation clicking perfectly for him. Understanding now that the comfort he felt was found in Cameron's arms,but he couldn't let Cam know this of course. "Oh well thanks man,yeah I probably would have killed mason if he pulled something again," Swagger laughs. Mason whips his head around,"what're you talking about,cunt?" He says jokingly. Swagger laughs, "you,cunt," He retorts. "Oi,I'll come back,there don't make me Eric," Mason says jokingly raising a fist. Ryan turns his head inside the van away from the road,"I'll come back there on all of ya if you don't calm down" causing everyone to laugh.

They spent the rest of the trip in silence, Eric focusing on only Cameron's scent so that by the time they arrived at the club his head was spinning. So much so that when he stepped out of the van, he tripped and collided into Tobi in front of him. "Fuck,so sorry Tobi" he blurts quickly, trying to balance her. But she only looks back at him worriedly before  continuing in, making Eric feel embarrassed. Cameron puts a hand on Eric's back as they enter the doors of the club, he's still pretty stoned and the pulsing music and lights were a little much for his overstimulated senses, he looks back out to the street behind Cam before hesitantly following the group to the bar. He sits in a tall stool on the end of the row with Mason and Jay to his left, orders a vodka coke and turns his attention to his fingernails; 'they need a new coat,' he made a note to himself. He receives his drink after waiting a minute and a half he supposes, the fingernails on his left hand now chewed to the quick. He sips it slowly,still observing everyone nervously. The boys are having a conversation about some convention that's too far away for Eric to look forward to. In his anxiety, he almost wishes he was with Bee, in her quiet apartment, on her couch, in her arms. He pulls out his phone and checks his messages but still no reply.

Bee

Are we going to be able to work
this out? I don't want to lose you
9:13 PM

A bit risky but he's suddenly feeling desperate,he sits his phone down face up when someone touches his shoulder. He turns his attention to the tall man, he notices the boys had all gone and now Cam is sitting next to him. Eric jumps a little,"How's it going?" Cam asks with a half smile. Eric just shakes his head, "Oh you know.. living the dream," he says sarcastically, taking a large drink from his glass. Cameron looks down at his drink as he swirled it, causing a little whirpool to form in the center, "What about you? How are things with your internet crush?" Cameron smiles, "Jealous?" He said jokingly, making Swagger wonder how many drinks he'd had, "yes Cam.. I'm very jealous." He joked back, although fully meaning his words. "Well.. i dont know.." he sighs raising his hand to the bartender for another drink, "I've been thinking.. there may actually be someone better." Eric doesn't look up from his drink, determined not to get his hopes up. "Someone better?" He questions, feeling Cams eyes on him, causing him to blush and hide his face. "Yeah.. but I dont know its weird. I didn't expect him to be my type..." Eric's ears feel hot, as if he knows Cam is speaking about him. Cameron sighs loudly, turning his head over his shoulder to look at the crowd. "I just can't figure out what I want anymore Eric," he says looking back at Swagger, their eyes finally catching each other's, neither able to look away. Eric's heart flutters, 'fuck it..' he thought courageously before he rests his hand on Cameron's, squeezing soflty, who quickly pulls away, chuckling awkwardly. Heat rises to Eric's neck and cheeks. 'How the fuck could I be so stupid?' "I'm sor- I.. I didn- I gotta piss." Eric rushes to the bathroom, vomit rising to his throat. He hears Cameron yelling after him but the words are distant, the throbbing in his ears growing louder. He pushes open the bathroom door and checks rapidly for an empty stall, a hand covering his mouth. Once in the empty stall on the end he hits his knees in front of the toilet,spewing his brunch. With tears in his eyes, he wipes his mouth and flushes the toilet, sitting back against the door.