A Pocketful of Elavan

Jello Cup

(Au)

!!Trigger Warning: Self-Harm!!

A little red cup made of jello jiggled on a plate in the middle of a table draped with fancy white cloth. It was the size of a shot glass but it kept Avan's attention for a little while.

Avan Jogia sat in a beautiful chair clad in a tuxedo that made him look like the perfect gentlemen. He stared at the beautiful bride in white, the love of his life, as she smiled at him with those dazzling baby blue eyes that made him fell for her in the first place.

He was called up on the platform to give his speech and Avan had to take a deep intake of air before he could stand up. The beating of his heart could be felt all the way up to his throat and his stomach churned in uneasiness. So this really was going to happen. He would do it for her.

Tapping on the microphone, he cleared his throat before speaking into it.

"Good evening, everyone," he starts off, "And good evening to the beautiful bride, Liz."

The audience muttered their responses simultaneously, making it seem more like a bunch of grumbles than a polite nod to the speaker.

"I first met Liz when we were in the senior year of high school. We were just a couple of kids dreaming of conquering the world. Okay, so that was more of Liz and less of me. I was a bit of a trouble maker as a kid," he rubs his nape. "Anyways, she was just the friendliest little ball of sunshine. I didn't really like people but she was the sole exception. I guess it was because she was really the only person who ever talked to me. It was like an extrovert adopting an introvert."

Liz takes a napkin from her table and covers her mouth as she laughed.

He wished she didn't. She had the most beautiful laugh ever. Her laugh was powerful enough to unleash the rays of a thousand suns.

"Liz is the kindest, most genuine person I know and anyone would be extremely lucky to even be breathing in the same space as her," he winks at her playfully, making her roll her eyes at him. "She made life worth living for me. It was her friendship that brought astonishing technicolor to my life and I can't ever thank her enough for that. When we went to college, I thought we'd start to grow apart but boy, was I wrong. She stuck to me like a leech."

The crowd laughed at his choice of words.

"I just kept waiting and waiting for her to get tired of me and all my baggage," he smiles and stares vulnerably into her eyes. "But she never did."

He takes a moment to swallow the lump that was starting to form in his throat and blink back the tears that prickled at the corners of his eyes.

"And ever since, I realized this girl really was one in a million," he smiles bitterly at the newly married couple. "So Michael, take care of her, buddy. Love her even when she's dragging you to pick out another dog when she already has way too many to count. Love her when she's in that time of the month and is making you buy her a whole aisle worth of chocolates. Love her because she's whole and love her even more when she's broken. Love her the way she deserves to be loved."

He raises the the little red jello cup filled with champagne, "Cheers to the happy couple from your best man."

Avan spills the liquid down his throat and shoved the gelatinous container in his mouth.

People gave them curious looks as Avan used a jello cup instead of the slender champagne glasses that were traditionally used to make the wedding toast.

There's an interesting story about that.

It was the middle of spring and Mother Nature birthed trees of greens and flowers of different bright colors. Liz and Avan were under the shade of a tree. She was making dandelion flower crowns because she thought it would match her floral romper and he sat there in his grey sweatshirt, watching her intently.

She was just ravishing.

You know how they all talk about a face that can launch a thousand ships? Well, to Avan, Liz's face was one that can stop wars. When she looked at him, the internal battles that he was constantly fighting would halt and the voices in his head would silence. Her physical appearance held so much power in itself but what was inside-- her pure soul, her genuine heart-- was what got Avan to fall helplessly in love with her at such a young age.

"You like it?" her younger self asked as she placed the flower crown on her head.

He had to hold his breath.

"Pretty," he smiled at her as he tried not to worship her right then and there.

"Oh! By the way, I brought something for you! Close your eyes," she grinned excitedly and he followed her instructions. "Okay, open!"

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by a plate of two shiny, red jello cups filled with colorful little jelly beans. He groaned internally. He absolutely hated jello or anything gelatinous for that matter but the excited look on her face made him feel guilty for even wanting to reject the food.

"What's this for?"

"I just wanted to celebrate your first whole week without harming yourself," she smiled at him and placed the plate down on the soft grass. "I would have made something else but jello was the only thing I knew how to make at home."

He took a small bite of the red jelly and swallowed it as quick as he could.

Liz gently took his hand in hers and lifted the sleeves of his sweater to reveal the several healing scars he had from cutting and gently ran her thumb over each of them.

"You shouldn't try to take your own life, Avan, okay?"

"No one would care if I disappeared anyway," he whispered under his breath, thinking she couldn't hear him.

But she did.

"I would care," she looked him in the eye. "I'd be very sad if you disappeared."

The way she said it made Avan tear up. There was a realness in her tone and sincerity in her eyes. For the first time since he could remember, he felt wanted.

Jello cups commemorated  that little moment they had under that tree. Ever since then, they celebrated every one of their achievements, however big or small, with cherry-flavored jello cups but never once did Avan like them.

So as he stood on that platform under the light of a thousand stars, trying not to gag on the jelly in his mouth, Avan made an effort to look happy for the love of his life who was now married to the love of hers. Unfortunately for him, that man was another.

She had the best night of her life while he had one of the worst.

But if he made her happy, then it probably should be a jello cup moment for him too.

__________

Had my fun with the smut before this one so now it's back to sad girl hours.

I was very hesitant to write this because self-harm or anything connected to mental health is a very sensitive topic and can be a little controversial. But I realized that writing is an art. At the end of the day, what is art without a little controversy?

Comment your thoughts and opinions! Share this with a friend if you'd like! Lots of love!