Thorny kind of Love

Chapter 21

Bell's POV

I lean over to kiss Ben goodnight before I get out of the car. "Call or text me when you back at the B&B." I say, Ben, nods and says, "I love you Bell." "I love you too," I say back and head for the door, He doesn't leave until I'm inside and I hear his car drive off. The house is dark, where is my dad? I go to his room and turn on the light, he was not there. I call my dad, voicemail, I try calling my brother again, voicemail. I call my sister in law and her phone is on voicemail as well, I am worried and leave a voicemail message, "Brian why is your phones off, where is dad, is everything ok, I am sick with worry, can anyone of you please call me back please."

I try to push any negative thoughts to the back of my mind and run the bath, I bathe quickly and get out, get into my PJ's and take my phone, I see a missed call from Ben, I quickly return his call, "I was in the bath, and sorry I missed your call." "It's ok, I just got out of the shower too, I'm laying in the bed now, what are you doing?" I tell him I'm worried about my dad and brother. "I can pick you up now and we can go there to check upon them." I don't want to go there at this time of the night and how would I explain who Ben is, they're probably ok, maybe I'm exaggerating and over thinking, I tell myself.

"No it's ok, I'll call again tomorrow," I tell him, Ben reminds me about our plans for tomorrow, and I wonder what he is planning. "Goodnight Ben, I love you." I say and he answers back, "Goodnight love of mine, I love you too." I end the call and try to fall asleep but I can't focus on sleep if I don't know if my dad and brother are ok. I toss and turn the whole evening, it felt like I got a few minutes of sleep when my alarm wakes me.

I drag myself out of bed and take my phone and call my dad, brother, and sister in law, it's all on voicemail. I put on a kettle of water and go wash my face and brush my teeth. I make myself a cup of coffee, I call Uncle Danny hoping that he heard from my dad. His answer isn't much help, I dress without any energy. My dad is my everything, he has never been away from me, without contacting me, I feel tears roll down my cheeks as the worries overwhelm me. Ben's car honk startles me and I rush to the bathroom to wash my face, I grab my bag and head out the door, Ben smiles as he sees me approaching, but the smile disappears as I get in and he sees my puffy eyes. "Bell what happened, what's wrong?" I lie to him and say, "I didn't get much sleep because of my allergies." I don't want to take the chance that Ben will drive directly to my brother's house and I don't have the energy for explanations. I will call my brother as soon as I get to work and if their phones are on voicemail again, I will ask Chantal for an extra hour for lunchtime and take the taxi till there and demand an explanation from them.

"Bell?" Ben's voice breaks my thoughts. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of what kind of allergy medication I should get at the chemist." I lie. Ben doesn't look convinced but accepts it. When we arrive at the B&B, as I want to get out, Ben grabs my hand and reminds me of our plans later. I tell him that I will meet him in the parking lot after my shift and that I need to go home to change first. We kiss for a few minutes in the car and then I get out. I immediately call my brother as I enter the building, voicemail. I go and find Chantal, she is busy talking to a guest and I wait. Chantal knows my dad, she has met him on many occasions and quite fond of him. "Of course you may, you need to make sure that he is ok," Chantal say in the most caring and concerned way, I thank her and clock in for my shift.

I find myself constantly checking my phone for any contact from my dad or brother, I can barely concentrate on the guest but manage to get their orders right. I notice that I haven't received any messages from Ben, I miss him, and I run to the foyer and text him quickly:

-Hey, just letting you know that I miss you-

I needed him to tell me something so that I could feel better, I wait a few minutes, but get no reply, I walk miserably back to the restaurant and continue working, after an hour I check my phone, no messages from my dad, my brother or Ben, I decide to take a tea break, I sneak off to Ben's room, I just need his arms around me now. I knock on his door and one of those hilarious females from the engagement party opens the door, I assume its Gina or Miriam. "Yes? Do you need to clean the room?" She asks in a snobbish way. I enter the room scanning it trying to find Ben, I don't see him, I only see the other female busy on Ben's laptop. "I am looking for Ben," I say without letting on whom and what I am to Ben. "Oh dear, he most probably went off to buy Polla and engagement ring." She giggles and the other female giggles along saying, "It's my time."I have heard and seen that name before but still not sure who or what she is so I ask politely, "Who's Polla?"

"She's Ben's long term girlfriend sweetie, and will be engaged soon, they've been dating for years." She turns on her heel and heads over to help the other female with something. I feel my stomach turn into a tight knot and feel as if I am going to throw up, anger fills every part of my body, I turn to walk out and see Ben in the door, how long has he been standing there? I ask myself, but I don't care, I had heard enough. I push past him and halfway in the passage, Ben runs after me, "Bell...I can explain ." He says as he desperately grabs my arm to hold onto me, I pull myself free with every force and I don't know where the courage came from but the feeling of betrayal and being lied too was too much, I was angry, I smack Ben hard across his face. "DON'T EVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN!" I scream at him. I hold my hand across my heart, it was the worst feeling, like a string of thorns entwined around my heart and squeezing it as hard as it could.

I had a feeling that this was too good to be true, why did I let my guard down? Was it because he is not from here and that I thought he was different. It all makes sense to me now who Polla was, all the time Ben was lying to keep his secret, at this stage, I am way beyond breaking point, I run to the toilet and cry nonstop, I hated Ben with every fiber in my body, God why is this happening to me, what did I ever do wrong do deserve this kind of pain, I call out.

I have to get back to the restaurant, I tell myself, I wash my face, and just as I'm about to leave the bathroom, my phone rings, It's Brian, I answer immediately, "Why are all of your phones on voicemail?" I let out all my emotions and scream at him not giving him time to form a sentence, "Where's dad?"

Ben's POV

As I pick up Bell, I can tell that something is wrong, her eyes were all puffy, she looked like someone that was crying. I immediately feel guilty, it might be something I did so I ask carefully, "Bell what happened, what's wrong?" I feel relieved as she answers, "I didn't get much sleep because of my allergies." Yet her answer doesn't satisfy me though, I turn to her and ask if she is sure everything is ok, she doesn't answer and now I start getting worried. "Bell?" I call out to her. She looks like she broke of a trance and answers, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of what kind of allergy medication I should get at the chemist."

When we arrive at the B&B, she jumps out of the car hurriedly and I catch her by the hand and remind her, we kiss for a bit before she goes inside. I go to my room and start my booking my flights back to Germany, it's something I dreaded to but I knew that I might not find the time later today or tomorrow. Somehow I long booking a flight for Bell to go with me, but I knew that her family meant everything to her, I remind myself that we will be able to work out something between us, I wanted Bell to always be a part of my life.

I hear a knock on my door and open the door to see Gina and Miriam, they complain that the internet is not working in their room and they also needed to book their flights. I let them in and first finish my bookings and then allow them to work on theirs, I remember that my mom asked me to buy a specific seed that she wants to grow in her garden, so I excuse myself and allow them to continue working. "I need to go buy something to take back with to Germany," I say as I leave. When I get back, I run past the restaurant, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bell, but I don't see her, I'll text her when I'm back in my room, I hope Gina and Miriam are done by now, I tell myself.

"Who's Polla?" I heard Bell's voice ask and I immediately knew that this was not going to be good, so I try rushing in and stopping Gina or Miriam from saying anything, but I stood hopelessly as Miriam runs her mouth, "She's Ben's long term girlfriend sweetie and will be engaged soon, they've been dating for years." Bell looks broken and furious at the same, she pushes past me and I grab her halfway in the passage. "Bell...I can explain." I try to hold onto her desperately grabs but she manages to free herself, she looks at me and her eyes look like it could shoot flames, for the first time in my life, I feel a hard smack across my face. "DON'T EVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN!" she screams at me. I felt the betrayal, hurt, and anger of Bell and watching her go, there was nothing I could do to erase it.

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