a child and his 7 concerned parentsbi-derman
gang gang 😎tin can
pete its 4am wHy aRe yOu aWaKe?!capsicle
why are YOU awake tony?Legolas
why are YOU awake steve?bucky
why are YOU awa-scary russian lady
for the love of all that's holy please shut the fuck up.enormous green rage monster
so why IS peter awake?bi-derman
OK! 💅 sOoOooO i was swingin around, doing patrol, as you do! when i was kidnapped!tin can
WHAT!?bi-derman
i was unconscious while being moved so when i woke up and saw tHe NiCk fUrY i WaS LiKe "oMgiTsNiCkFuRy!" so he took me in for questioning and i couldn't be bothered to lie so i just told him
😡👍scary russian lady
why did you say "gang gang"?bi-derman
cuz he kinda forced me to do missions with the avengers so i said gang gang cuz we will be working together 😏😏capiscle
i swear this child will be the death of mepoint break
DO NOT DIE AT THE HANDS OF A CHILD MAN OF THE AMERICAN MIDGARDS!!legolas
not what he meant thorcapsicle
welllenormous green rage monster
what mission is it?bi-derman
idk, he just told me that i'd be needed soon for a mission and that he'd call mescary russian lady
you could just ignore the callstin can
even i wouldn't recommend thatbi-derman
i've been ignoring his calls for 6 months, i think he's getting impatientpoint break
6 MONTHS IS NOT A LONG TIME MEAR MORTALSlegolas
but if you're a pirate that can't get his "gold" (if yk what i mean😉) then you're gonna be PISSEDtin can
wait i thought he didn't know anything about you? how did he have your number?bi-derman
i have a phone i use for spider-man stuff. Like to call the cops when i've webbed up a criminal, i also use it to talk to other vigilantes and a few frenimes when they escape prisonenormous green rage monster
i'm sorry "frenimes?"bi-derman
yea! yk like norman (green goblin) and gunther (doc ock) Toomes (vulture) i could go on, i know at least 4 more criminals phone numbers.legolas
should we be concerned?scary russian lady
i think so..tin can
wait wait wait-
you have CRIMINALS phone numbers? and not just like muggers but like MUTANT CRIMINALS that ATTACK NEW YORK?bi-derman
yea, i JUST said that. Also you should see the sinister six group chat that i'm in! it's so fun lmaocapsicle
i- 👁👄👁point break
UM CHILE- ANYWAYS SO-
DID I USE IT RIGHT?bi-derman
OMG YES HAHAHHAH 😭😭--------------------------------------------
a child and his 7 concerned parents
bi-derman
iM bOrEdDddDtin can
we're in a meeting-bi-derman
you're not paying attention either😒tin can
fax no printer 😏bi-derman
ewlegolas
you could LITERALLY see the look of disgust THROUGH his mask when he read that IIWISJSJEJRHenormous green rage monster
aren't you guys meant to be paying attention?tin can
aren't you supposed to be making the cure for cancerenormous green rage monster
that's not my job tonytin can
sure it isn't bruceenormous green rage monster
it literally isn'ttin can
sure (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)enormous green rage monster
bye tony.bi-derman
what was that-capsicle
i swear to god pay attention before i tell director fury you're on your phones.bi-derman
but you're on your phone aswelllegolas
ooo burn 😎bi-derman
wait why isn't Thor in the meeting?tin can
he's in Asgard for something i didn't pay attention to his leaving speechscary russian lady
yea me eithercapsicle
something about it being someone's birthdaylegolas
he will be back tomorrow, he left his phone on the couch as well so he won't be talking till thenbi-derman
that's such an old man move lmaotin can
i always leave my phone on the couch!bi-derman
i stand correctedlegolas
AHHAHAHAbi-derman
WHY DO YOU LAUGH SO LOUD WERE GONNA GWTB CAOUGH AHHAHAcapsicle
SHSHSHD FURY'S LOOKING AT US AHHAHAscary russian lady
IM TRYING NOT TO LAUYH BUT FURY LOOKS SO PISSEDbi-derman
TONY STOP LAUGHING UAUSJDJSK--------------------------------------------
so sorry for the wait! i've been sick since monday and i've been off school playing among us-
👁👄👁
aNyWaY i've gotten a few ideas for chapters ready i just need to write them out
ALSO THANK YOU FOR 1K READS LIKE HOW- OSKSKSKSK
YOU ARE READING
hOlY sHiT! tOnY sTaRk?!
Humorin which tony stark accidentally texts peter parker. classic right? (my colleagues and college friends keep finding this, i wrote this when i was 13 leave me alone!) (also was written around 2019, just been updated to delete old social media info s...