Are You The One ?

🔥Chapter Fourteen🔥

"Are you thankful? Are the hips that cracked, the deep velvet of your mother...and her mother...and her mother?"

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

I was staring at myself in the mirror and I didn't like the person that was staring back at me. That person that I didn't want to be anymore was now standing on the other side of the mirror. The one that is the reason I was forced to move here. The one that has cost me plenty of relationships in the past. The one that has ruined friendships over the years.

I don't know what happened to me today. I saw Korey walking down the hall and that person that I forced away inside of me, came out. The second I saw him, I saw red and I lost it.

No matter how much he hit me, I made sure to hit him harder. I wanted to see him bleed. Once I saw the first drop of blood coming from his nose and mouth, my adrenaline was running and I couldn't stop. My new goal was then to keep punching him until I knocked him out unconscious.

I'm thankful that my baby stepped in when he did, although I'm not proud of what I did after that. I didn't like the way he went over to Korey before even talking to me but that didn't give me the right to grab him the way that I did. I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened with Kendrick and I, I would NEVER put my hands on him. And unfortunately, today I broke that promise with myself.

The look of fear in his eyes and the tears forming are what snapped me out of my state of rage. The last thing I wanted him to be was afraid of me.

I was sent home early from school and suspended for the rest of the week because of the fight. On the ride home and even after we got home, DeMarcus talked to me about how I need to get my act together before I get kicked out of that school as well. He had to take on the role of my parent in this situation since my actual parents weren't here.

I understood what he was saying but I explained to him how much I've been improving. It was just this one situation.

After we were done talking, I went up to my room and drew nonstop. I wanted to text Kendrick but we both needed time to cool down. Few hours went by and I decided to text him and ask if he could come by my house when he got the chance. I just needed to see if he was okay, how he was feeling, and what's going through his head.

I continued drawing to keep my mind busy as I waited for him to show up. It felt forever before I finally heard the doorbell go off.

I opened the door and moved to the side, letting him walk into the house. I was happy to see him but he didn't look too happy to see me.

Understandable.

I reached my arms out to try and hug him but he jumped back. Looking at him, I saw that look of fear again. Seeing that look again hurt more than it did the first time. Yea, I definitely fucked up.

"Thanks for coming by. I didn't think you would at first but I'm glad you did" I said breaking the silence. He didn't say anything back, he just stared at me.

"Okay bae, hear me out. I didn't mean for ANY of what went down today to happen. My goal going into school was to completely ignore him and the situation. But the minute I saw him, something inside me went off and that's when everything started. I wanted to stop myself but I couldn't" I spoke in the calmest tone I could.

"And on top of that, I should've never grabbed you or talked to you in the way that I did. I apologize for both of those things. I made a promise to myself that I would never hurt you or put you in any form of danger. Seeing that look in your eyes right now is one that I never wanted to see. I've been beating myself up all day about it. I need you to know that I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart apologize for my actions."

I sat on the edge of the couch and waited for him to speak.

"First of, I thank you for your apology. But you also need to be apologizing to Korey" he said as I nodded. He was right.

"Second, although this doesn't justify your actions, I did know what I was getting myself into before making us official. The part that scared me the most was hearing you say my name like that with such anger. I could definitely tell that you weren't yourself."

I'm glad that he was able to tell that it wasn't me this morning.

"For now I think ima go on home and go to sleep. I need to rest and get my head together. This doesn't mean that we are breaking up at all. I just need some time to myself."

I opened the door for him as he gave me a kiss on my check before getting in his car and driving off.

Part of me feels like he doesn't love me the same anymore. But that could just be my paranoia kicking in.

END OF CHAPTER 14 !!!

2 chapters left....

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