From Dusk Till Dawn

Chapter Nineteen

The next morning I woke up early but with an aching body and my neck was the most injured. My body hurt to the point that I couldn't properly stretch but I tried to anyway. I showered and changed my clothes lazily. I went to work feeling like a ghost in a ghost town. Everything had lost something. I realized that colors were fading from my life gradually and I only noticed now that nothing will return to normal. It was all over. The day at work went painfully slow. I had to finish up many projects that were left incomplete all this time. I barely saw Mum and knew she was diving in her work as well. After work was over I went home. Not my house but Ellie's. Home was where Amy existed and I couldn't let go of her like that, even if she wanted to. It was night time when I reached Ellie's. I stood shaking slightly from the weather that was unexpectedly turning cold. I rang the bell twice before Ellie opened. "You have got to be kidding me," She mumbled. "Please let me in," I begged. She backed from the door to give me space to enter. "You're insane," She had said as I got inside and I ignored her statement. I didn't know anything to be done other than reminding Amy how things once were between us. It was all I could think of doing. I'll remind her about the times when things were just fine between us. She will never let that easily go. I knew our memories would touch something in her heart. Or at least I hoped so. She was in the kitchen pouring herself and Ellie hot tea. I walked in slowly trying not to think of whether she sensed my presence or not. But if she did anyway she didn't show a sign. It was wonderful seeing her lead a normal life like she used to before the accident. She walked gracefully with the kettle in her hand and poured in the two cups as if she was completely capable of seeing her surrounding and made me happy for the level of independence she had reached. "Do you want some?" She asked in a nonchalant tone. I didn't feel like drinking tea but I said yes anyway. She went to the cupboard with ease, opened it, and got a china cup. She placed the cup in the right place and without the tiniest hint of clumsiness, she poured tea in my cup and put the three cups in a silver tray and walked outside the kitchen leaving me on my own. I went after her and watched her place the tray on the coffee table. Ellie was sitting on the couch with her hands resting on her lap and Peanut was asleep at her feet. He was moving slowly and I knew he was waking up. He did and jumped over at me doing what he loves to do. Minutes later and his saliva was all over my face and hands. We hugged and I rubbed his belly and he wiggled his tail, it was so comforting to me, knowing that some things can never change. My eyes went to Amy many times while Peanut was in my hands and wished deeply we could go back to normal. It still struck me how things began to quickly shift unpleasantly between us. One moment we were going to have a baby and the next moment we were no longer living together. No longer a husband and a wife in love, but two people about to get divorced. Amy sat on the couch beside Ellie and I went to sit beside them two. Amy sat at the very corner so that when I get a seat Ellie would still be in between the two of us. It annoyed me how we once couldn't get our hands off of each other. Even after years of marriage, the heat between Amy and me and the sexual tension between us never seemed to fade. Not until her accident and the incidents that followed. The three of us sat on the couch in the most awkward way. But it seemed that Ellie and I were the only ones who could feel it because if anything Amy acted like she was the only one in the room. Like she felt nothing at all but a peace of mind. A peace I knew had hidden so much chaos underneath it. "How are you doing?" Ellie cleared her throat and tried to break the tension. "I'm alright, how about you?" I shot the question back at her. "I'm alright too," She mumbled realizing this was going nowhere. Amy stayed silent and picked her teacup to take a sip. She always had the nerve to drink extremely hot drinks without even wincing. "How have you been Amy?" I took the leap and asked her. "Well, you see I've been better, but I'm grateful anyway," She said lightheartedly, and again I was thankful for the level of acceptance she reached with her blindness. Ellie picked her cup of tea from the silver tray and stood up. I gave her a look silently thanking her for leaving us but at the same time, I knew her presence would help me if things got awkward. I decided it was better to take the risk anyway. When Ellie was out of the room, I scooted closer to Amy but with much carefulness as not to touch her. "You look beautiful," I said in a tone low enough to sound intimate but high enough for her to hear. It still affected her. The way she blushed meant a lot to me for I knew that some things truly never change. "I'm sure you're looking handsome as well," She muttered. I gave a sad smile that I knew she couldn't see but something told me she could feel it. She took a sip from her tea. "It's cooled down a bit now, you can drink yours," She said referring to the temperature of the hot drink. I took the lonely cup from the tray and took a sip. It tasted just right and the temperature was how I liked as well, not too hot nor too cool. "Remember when tea was my least favorite drink?" I started recalling the memory and secretly prayed she was doing the same as well. "You used to believe it makes you sleepy," She said with a soft smile. The compassion in her voice made it hard not to kiss her but I kept my distance anyway. "It does make me sleepy," I said back. Tea was never what I liked to drink but I only got used to it because it was Amy's favorite drink and I loved having her company with a cup of tea. I loved and still do love everything about her and everything she does. "This is just in your head. 'Sleepy' isn't what caffeine does," She replied mocking me. "Yeah, you always say that," I said back acting cool but feeling giddy from the inside that we were having a normal conversation. "Because you always complain about unreasonable things," She said in a joking tone teasing me. "And you were always there to knock some sense to me," I said truthfully, "you were always there to guide me, you know I'd be lost without you,"