Ice Melts for Love

You and Me

"Noooooooo...!"

I screamed myself awake. Tears were blinding my eyes and my body was shaking with grief. I wrapped my arms around me as I rocked back and forth on my bed, crying uncontrollably. I heard the door open. I felt my bed dip and found myself in my mom's arms.

"Oh, honey. Please don't cry."

For days, I stayed inside my room. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. My parents were getting worried and they tried to make me tell them what was wrong with me but I couldn't talk. I was inconsolable.

My head hurt most of the time from the memories that resurfaced inside my mind, leaving me gasping in pain or crying hysterically. My mom sought help from our family doctor but I wouldn't let him come near me. I wouldn't even let Quinn near me because I didn't want him to see what I've become. A weak, pathetic creature that finally succumbed to the darkness.

Night has fallen and it had been a week since my breakdown. I hated and feared the night. The darkness made my throat constrict with fear or left my body shaking in panic. I left the light on since then. I didn't want to be in the dark but it was useless. The nightmares wouldn't leave me.

I shook my head and looked up. My dad was standing behind my mom, his jaw clenched and an unreadable expression on his face.

"I remember her, dad," I whispered raggedly.

He closed his eyes but not before I saw the fleeting look of anguish in them. He sighed and put a hand on top of mom's shoulders.

"You should go to Quinn," he told her gently. "I'll take care of Ellen."

Glancing at the door, I saw Quinn looking on with tears streaming down his face. My mom sobbed once and gently pulled back from me. She kissed my forehead and patted my face lovingly.

"I love you," she whispered to me. "You know that right?"

I nodded and she kissed me once again before leaving my bed. She ushered Quinn out of my room and closed the door gently.

I stared at my blanket. It had been so long since dad and I were left together in one room. I felt my dad sit beside me. I glanced at him. He was staring at his hands that were clenched together and he looked as if he aged overnight.

"Do you remember that night, Ellen?" he asked, still not looking at me.

I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth to stop myself from screaming at the images that popped inside my head. I managed to let out a barely audible yes.

He nodded vigorously. We both fell silent.

"Did I- did I kill her, dad?" I asked after a minute.

That made him look at me with horror on his face.

"No." he told me firmly. "How could you ever think that? You were just a baby, my God. Who told you such thing?"

I cried and he took me in his arms.

"I remembered there were lots of blood and she was just lying there," I stammered as I cried. "Then, Aunt Jemma- mom came and took me away."

He inhaled deeply and let out a shuddering sigh.

"It wasn't your fault, sweetie."

I pulled back from his arms and searched his eyes. The grief and sorrow in them were visible.

"I h-heard the police tell you that if it wasn't for me she-"

"Ellen, listen to me," he interjected, holding my arms gently. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I should have heard the robber get in through the window. But I was too busy working that he got me in the head and I blacked out. It was my fault."