𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒌𝒚𝒖𝒖 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔 ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡

↳🥀 ˖° | 𝒊𝒘𝒂𝒐𝒊 ; 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒕

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言って
( 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭. )
ʸᵒʳᵘˢʰⁱᵏᵃ
00:01 ●━━━━━━─────── 4:03
⇆ㅤㅤㅤㅤ◁ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ▷ㅤㅤㅤㅤ↻

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" hey, iwa-chan. long time no see, " oikawa tooru greeted with a small smile. he was greeted with silence so he just sat on the grass and continued talking. " you know, I've been thinking about that letter you sent me the last time. that long letter you gave me yourself? yeah, you told me something that stuck in my head. "

" you told me you wouldn't be always on my side forever so i need to learn how to take care of myself. i didn't understand what you meant that time, but now i kinda wish i never understood." oikawa lifted his head and looked at the sky, the usually bright sun and the cheery blue were covered by thick dark nimbus clouds threatening tooru about the incoming rain, but he stayed and continued talking.

" honestly, i keep forgetting everything in that letter except for that part. " he said with a chuckle as he felt his chest get heavier. and his voice trembling.

" i... " he took a deep breathe, encouraging himself to continue. " i quitted volleyball."

" i cannot continue playing anymore when it's a thing we chose and learned together. i wanna forget about you so much but at the same time i don't. I don't wanna let go of our memories so bad. i love you too much. "

" life's been bad, " he laughed humorlessly. " i stopped school and I'm currently jobless. I've been drinking every night and honestly it's the first time months that I'm not intoxicated. I'm glad my parents understand though and still let me stay in their house even though I'm an adult now. i bet you're disappointed. " oikawa shut his eyes tightly and clenched his fists, preparing himself for a lecture about how stupid he was and how reckless he is, how much he disappointed iwaizumi, his childhood best friend, pillar and lover.

but nothing came.

his clenched fists shook and he felt anger rising in him.

" why aren't you saying anything? " oikawa whispered, rage filling his veins.

"SAY SOMETHING! SHOUT SCREAM AT ME LIKE HOW YOU USED TO! " he snapped and screamed on the top of his lungs. tears streaming on his cheeks and teeth gritted.

" GET MAD AT ME! GIVE ME A REALITY CHECK LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! "

he dropped to the ground, sobbing and waiting for a warm, slightly calloused hand to rub his back and a deep rough voice to tell him everythings going to be okay, but nothing came.

why did he even expect a response?

" y- you're so unfair! " he said through his tears. " you're- why aren't you saying anything?! how do you expect me to carry on?! "

" why'd you have to leave so suddenly? "

he screamed and screamed infront of iwaizumi's grave but got no response.

" tell me! speak up! why aren't you saying anything?! " he sobbed and sobbed, voice hoarse and his throat aching from all the speaking , screaming and crying and still no response.

he felt a cold drop for water on his shoulder. then another and another then multiple drops of rain came falling down to earth, drenching his clothes but he did not budge from his crouched position.

the cold water felt rather nice on his now sickly pale skin. it was a harsh reminder, besides from the marble tombstone in front of him and the body six feet beneath the groud he's sitting on, that hajime iwaizumi is gone and will never come back. plus he knew it will rain soon enough, so he wore a random shirt and pants. that's surprising considering the fact that he's been wearing nothing but iwaizumi's clothes and perfume for the past months. sleeping on his sheets that iwaizumi's parents gave him, reading the last letter he wrote before he died on his death bed, and drinking, drinking and more drinking.

everyone was happy that he was finally facing the truth and realising that his boyfriend is now gone by visiting his grave for the first time. but he's not, he doesn't want to remember.

" i- i even c-call out your na- name sometimes. i called y-your number a l-lot of times too, " he stuttered due to his shaky hoarse voice , heavy feeling settling in his chest and the messed up thoughts clouding his brain.

" i wanna forget that you're d-... de.. dead, " he tried suppressed a sob but failed, and another round of crying ensues, his salty tears mixing in with the raindrops.

" I want that reality check from you yourself. i want you to tell me this is real and you're gone i want to hear you tell me, for the last time, i want to meet you again. i want you to speak to me... please, " he was replied by silence except for the pitter patters of the rain, as usual.

" once more, speak up. "