The Side Effects

.08 Pancakes and Wounds

"I haven't cut since i got here" was the only thing repeating in my mind. I've been pacing around my room for about an hour. Kaleb walked in a few times and asked what I was doing and I said that I drank so much caffeinated tea.

I glanced at the clock, 4 A.M. All the words repeated in my mind. Stupid. Whore. Useless. Waste of space. Worthless. Unwanted. Unneeded. Careless. Fat. Bitch. All the words growing louder and louder urging for me to cut. I glared at the scars on my skin.

"3 weeks. I haven't cut for three weeks maybe just one won't kill me." I said out loud talking to myself. I knew not to cut wrists otherwise Kaleb would see and my thighs were the second place he'd look. I took the blade and manages to cut my inner thigh. The blood pouring out.

One cut. Two cuts. What's one more. Four cuts. Five cuts. Keep Bleeding whore. Seven cuts. 8 cuts. Your beginning to bleed on the floor. I made several more marks and ended up with 20.

I took the blade and threw it towards the mirror. Blood splattered on part of the mirror but it wasn't that obvious. I took a red towel and put it where the cuts were so it wouldn't be that noticeable. Once they seemed to stop bleeding I put on my pants wincing.

I walked from my room to Kalebs. Knocking softly then walking in. He was asleep and snoring slightly. I couldn't help but think about how much he meant to me, and how we would never be together. We were just friends.

I walked to the side of the bed he wasn't on and curled up listening to his soft snoring. Kaleb then put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I fell asleep almost instantly under his touch. But the growing pain on my leg was unbearable.

•Morning•
Once I woke up Kaleb was still asleep and it was 9 A.M. I got out of the bed and decided to make breakfast. As I was making some pancakes and was singing along to Bring Me the HorizonKaleb walked in with a straight face and was clearly upset, "Kaleb what happened?" I said as cheerfully as I could be.

"There was blood all over my blankets and I know you came into my room, care to explain", Kaleb said.

I quickly turned around and pretended to be focused on the pancakes. Flipping the last one onto the plate before he spoke. "Care to reply at some point" Kaleb said angrily working his way up to yelling at me.

"So what it's a few cuts." I lied. He knew it couldn't be my period because that was two week and it's hard to hide with the wrapping color.

"Define a 'few' cuts" Kaleb said worriedly. I put up two fingers instantly. "Then show me." Kaleb said aggressively. His emotions seemed to be changing every minute.

"It's near my vag." I muttered.

"So how many honestly. I won't get mad" Kaleb said. He was aggravating me so much that I pulled down my pants and showed him my inner thighs. "Try twenty asshole" I could barely choked out.

I made an instant run for my room. Before I could even reach my door I was whisked off the floor and thrown over his shoulder. Kaleb brought me to the bathroom and started cleaning my wounds.

"Kaleb. When was the last time you cut?" I asked nervously.

"A week ago" was all he said without looking me in the eyes. "This is about you not me."' He stated.

Once they were cleaned and taken care of I was set up in the couch. The pancakes I made were horrible has I was forced to eat with Kaleb by my side.

I needed to go to sleep so I got up and went to my room. Kaleb looked hesitant but instead of following me he stayed on the couch.

I looked around and found the blade. I took it and stuck it in a book near my bed. Knowing that would be the last place anyone would ever look.

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I know it's a crappy ass chapter but I'll update soon I've been busy

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