My Treasured Blossom [Classic Yandere Boy x Female Reader]

6. The Cast Sucks at Finding Yanderes.

"YOU HAVE A WHAT?!" Homura shouted in surprise, dropping to her hands and knees to do a few comfort push-ups.

"I said that I-I think someone's following me around," Y/N said shyly. It was lunchtime, and she had just told her cliche friends about all the letters. "Like a secret admirer or a stalker or something. Why have I not informed the police yet, or the headmaster? I don't know, I am too generic to be put into the slightest unusual situation and be expected to do well."

"When you say you've been getting a lot of letters, what do you mean by a lot?" Elliot of the unknown western origins asked, puffing out his blushing cheeks. I need to know so that I can do better, he thought with a twinge of jealousy.

Without saying another word, Y/N turned her generic schoolbag upside down. All at once, a great torrent of love notes poured out in assorted colors of white, pink, and red. They continued to flow from the bag without end, spreading a larger and larger pile of objectified infatuation. After a few minutes, the love notes reached such a volume that they began to cascade down from the roof of the school like a paper waterfall.

With a final shake, Y/N's generic bag was empty, and she collapsed with a sigh into the pile of paper beneath her.

"H-How long have you been collecting those for, Y/N?" Emi asked looking at the blizzard of notes in awe. "This is more than all the confession letters that I received in middle school."

"These are just some of the ones I got in my locker today," Y/N mumbled, floundering around in the love notes like a fish out of water. "I really do have a stalker, don't I?"

"It looks like it, but don't worry Y/N we'll always be here to support you!" Homura said, giving Y/N an optimistic thumbs up before placing her hands on her hips. On a whole, the maroon-haired athlete was able to exude more positively than the at-home fitness coach DVDs.

"Yeah, Homura's right!" Elliot chimed in. "We'll always be here for you, or at least until we are picked off one by one by your obsessed stalker, because we all suck at life."

"Thank you all, I don't know what my life would be like without you," Y/N said, wiping her eyes to get rid of the tears that had started to form. "But luckily, I'll never need to know. That would only happen in a generic Yandere x Reader, where the Generic Y/N, loses her generic friend group to a generically jealous yandere, but I eat jam on my toast, so I am obviously not generic and have actual character depth."

"That's the spirit Y/N!" Homura said, pulling the whole group into an awkward hug. "Let's work together to find out the identity of Y/N's stalker. Go team!"

While the three friends were hugging and listening to Homura's 'pre-game pep talk' another person was on the roof, listening from his concealed place inside his trusty hydrangea bush. Oyama sniffed, as his allergies were inflamed by his 'perfect disguise.'

"We'll split up to find this creeper, moving from dumb anime cliches to dumb horror movie cliches at the speed of light," Ichiro said, causing Y/N to blush and Oyama to snap a twig in his bush a few paces away. "We'll meet back up here at the end of the day to go over what we found."

. . .

"So... Who wants to share first?" Ichiro asked, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. The generic friend group had all gathered back on the roof after the final bell had rung. They were sitting in their usual place, but no one seemed eager to share how their search went. "Come on, someone's got to start," Ichiro pressed them.

"Why don't you go first then. You sound excited about it," Elliot snapped, crossing his arms indifferently. "We both know that you will take every opportunity to demonstrate yourself better than me, so why don't you just get it over with, so I can act like it's no big deal when you inevitably end up with Y/N because you're the Male Lead, while I get shucked to the side because I am actually quite toxic to the Female Lead, but I'm only like that because I'm an insecure romantic at heart who's scared of being rejected."

"Ok, I-I guess I'll start then," he replied, feeling nervous for no good reason considering that he's a generic male lead and that no matter what he said it will sound like liquid gold to everyone else. "I found no trace of Y/N's stalker. I asked the student council, of which I am a part of but am entirely unqualified for. They said they hadn't noticed anything and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary except for that perfectly innocent hydrangea that appears to be slowly creeping across the roof. Did anyone else discover anything?"

"Oh, oh pick me! Pick me! I wanna go next!" Homura said, bouncing in her seat as she held both her own hand and Elliot's hand in the air like a dead fish. "Ask us what we found!"

"Ok, what did you two discover then?" Ichiro asked docilely.

"Absolutely nothing!" The blonde snapped, pulling his hand away from Homura's grip with a scowl. "We both went to the sports club, but we didn't find anything."

"Nothing at all," Homura agreed, suddenly acting sullen. She mimicked Elliot's scowl, "other than a perfectly innocent hydrangea bush that kept appearing out of nowhere, but it's an innocent hydrangea bush so it obviously has nothing to do with Y/N's stalker."

Everyone sitting there nodded their heads in agreement before they turned their attention to Y/N and Emi, who had been together in classes the whole afternoon. "What about you two? Were you able to discover the identity of Y/N's stalker?" Ichiro asked, causing Y/N to blush and stutter.

"W-Well, Emi was too distracted by her next boytoys to be of much help, and I couldn't find anything useful either," she said with a sigh, unable to meet her the raven-haired boy's eyes. "I have noticed that an innocent hydrangea bush has been following me home from school the last few days, but I'm sure that it's completely unrelated."

Everyone was suddenly distracted by the sound of a sneeze, emanating from behind them. Oyama froze inside his hydrangea bush as Y/N looked over in his direction. He had never been so conflicted in his life, he both loved the feeling of having her eyes on him, and hated the thought of her discovering him.

Y/N frowned as she was greeted by the sight of a slightly wilting hydrangea bush only a couple of steps away from her. "Hhmmm, if you were a suspicious kind of plant I would assume that you were connected to my stalker, but since your an innocent hydrangea, I know that you couldn't possibly be involved. I have absolutely no grounds to support the idea that hydrangeas are innocent, because I'm Y/N in a Yandere x Reader, and none of the authors take the time to learn about plant symbology. They just paste a variety of rainbow roses everywhere and hope for the best."

After that was said Y/N and her friends left the roof, disappointed that they were unable to find Y/N's stalker. Meanwhile, Oyama did a happy yandere dance in his bush, grateful to have remained undiscovered. That meant that he could continue with his totally-not-predictable-plan to eliminate Y/N's friends.

A/N

I feel like the bush bit and the toast bit are getting a bit too bitty, buuuuut the more I use them the funnier I find them, so they're staying.

Until next time I'll see you on the other side

~J. C. Coltt.~