Canyon Moon | H.S.

Out of my Depth (38)

It's been two weeks since I officially moved to LA, and it's been a dream.

Harry's had a couple of meetings and promo stuff, but he's been around most of the time. In his own words, he's in limbo at the moment, waiting for the new year before he goes on tour again. He keeps worrying that I'm getting bored, but I'm loving life. I'm even starting to get a tan with all the sun!

I've been painting a bunch. Harry ordered a whole load of canvases, all of varying sizes, and my easel has been set up in the spare room constantly. I honestly can't believe, looking back, that I went two years without painting. I feel so much more alive, and I know that's mainly due to my entire life being flipped around, but the feeling of the paintbrush between my fingers again is magical. I don't think I've gone a single day though without Harry finding paint smudged on some part of me.

We've been out as well. We've been back to Beachwood practically every other day, so much so that Linda doesn't need to take our orders any more. Harry's also taken me out three evenings in the past fortnight, exploring other restaurants.

I saw our photo being taken a couple of times, but managed to ignore it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. Part of me wants to know who's seen the photos, where they've gone, what people are saying. I know I'll probably get my feelings hurt, but we all have the instinct to do something that will hurt us in the end. We're just like cats not understanding fire and trying to swipe at a candle.

"Harry." I say one evening, making him look up from his book. We're both sitting on the couch in the living room, my feet in his lap.

"I've been thinking."

"Should I be concerned?" He asks with a cheeky smile.

"I've been thinking about, like, going public and social media and stuff." His face gets a bit more serious and he puts his book away, shifting to face me.

"Okay. Tell me what you've been thinking." He doesn't look concerned, or mad, which is good, but I know this might be a sensitive topic for him.

"I know I don't have a lot of experience with any of this kinda stuff, so if I get stuff wrong or say something that upsets you please tell me, I'm not trying to be rude." I preface.

"Nat, love, it's fine. Just say what's on your mind." He gives me a small smile, half of his face in shadow from the evening sunlight streaming in through the windows.

"When you're ready to go public, and that doesn't have to be soon, or ever, if that's what you need, I genuinely am not concerned with that..." He just chuckles softly, so I keep going. "I know a lot of people, a lot of your fans, are going to want to know who I am."

"Yeah, that's probably an understatement." He scratches his head.

"I know you don't use social media a lot, and I respect you for making that decision, but part of me would like to create a social media account."

"A social media account. Just one?"

"Stop laughing at me!" I say, pointing at his giggling face. "I know I don't know what I'm talking about, but yeah, I'd like to try being on social media."

"Okay." He says simply. "Any reason why?" I pause for a second, collecting my thoughts.

"I don't agree with people becoming influential based on who they associate with, I think it's utterly mad, but I know it happens. If your fans start trying to find me and follow me, I want to be a positive presence online, and try to help people using it. You know I'm completely out of my depth, and I would have to get help, but I know social media can do a lot of good when used correctly. I know it can do a lot of harm too but I'm trying to focus on the positives."