The polar express x reader

Chapter 3- mr bungle and bts

I held Andy's cold hand as we followed the foot prints.

"I gotta wake up" Andy said, letting go of my hand and collapsing in the snow "I gotta wake up"

"You're awake, Andy"

He buried his face in the snow "WAKE UP, WAKE UP"

I picked up his face out of the snow "If this is a dream, which it's not, don't you want to see how it ends?"

Tbh that was kinda poetic of me actually no it wasn't

He nodded, getting up and following the footprints. A small light got bigger and bigger as we approached it. It was a homeless guy sitting in front of a fire ?1?1!?!?!?!!?!?1?1/1/1/

"May I help you?" He asked "I am talking with my friend"

He pointed to the fire in front of him. It was a sexy fire but I don't get why it would be his friend.

Well actually the one time I had butt cancer I actually talked to water so maybe homeless man has penis cancer so well whatever never mind hello hello hello how low sorry.

"I'm looking for a girl. I got her ticket"

The homeless guy stood up and started dancing "You're never going to get one, man. You may be attractive, but no. Same with this bitch here with the big ass cheeks"

I slapped the hobo "SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH. OUR FRIEND LOST HER TICKET AND WE NEED TO RETURN IT TO HER. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR you ASS WIPE POOP PISS PANTS?"

The hobo nodded "Okay, okay. But just telling you, tickets don't matter. I don't have a ticket and I ride this train for free. I own this train. In fact, I'm the king of the North Pole!"

"What about Santa?" Andy asked

"No bitch" the hobo spat "Oh and by the way, stick the ticket in your shoe"

Andy nodded and stuck the ticket into his slippper. The word slipper is funny help sorry

"Ok bye I'm leaving" the hobo said, standing up and walking away

I scoffed "Wait!"

Andy fell face first into the snow, crying. I did the same thing.

"KIDS!!!" The hobo yelled, walking back toward us "There's no sleeping on the polar express. Hop in front of me, kids"

We did so, and he started sliding down the train as it was going down a hill. We were on skis. I was having a blast as the hobo wasn't touching my ass.

"Okay kids, when I say jump, you jump. JUMP!"

We jumped into a pile of coal. Then, we rolled down and found ourselves in the control room, where everything runs and shit. And there was Titties! She was licking her eyeballs with her tongue.

"YOU!?" Andy shouted "WE THOUGHT YOU GOT THROWN OFF! YOU'RE DRIVING THE TRAIN?"

Titties nodded as she put her tongue back into her mouth "Yeah. They put me in charge"

"In charge?" Andy repeated

She nodded "Yeah! The engineer had to check the light"

"THE ENGINEER?" Andy repeated

"Andy shut the fuck up" I said, smacking him on his shoulder

"You know, everything is really simple. I know how to work things. I squirted on the things I have to remember"

I nodded "Good for you"

"STOP THE TRAIN!" We heard somebody call

I nodded, causing Andy and Titties to sob. They then took off their crusty, snow filled underwear and put it in their mouths. After that they switched underwear. This means that TT was wearing a G string, and Andy was wearing a thong. Idk why they did this, but it's okay.