In the Stars ( A Sprace fan fiction)

Chapter 22: I Didn't Know That

Spot's POV
TW: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM

     Well everyone knows and I gotta tell them not ta tell my boys...but I don't wanna move! Racer's so cute when he's sleepin! I can't leave him without wakin him up and if I wake him up his head's gonna hurt again so that's not an option. I guess I'm just gonna wait till later. I feel like an ass for kinda rushin him earlier. Why the fuck would I start ta take off his shirt without askin first!? Ugh, guess I can't do anything about it now. I'm still runnin my fingers through his hair and-shit! He's burnin up a little! It's not a lot but if he gets sick at all...it ain't gonna be good!

Dammit what can I do without movin him!? Uhh, well, a lotta people say if you got a fever then ta sweat it out so I guess I just gotta hold him closer! I pull up the blankets tryin not ta wake him up. Fuck, he's movin. Never mind, he's just clutchin my chest. I love him so much! I pull the blankets up all the way and I'm holdin him closer ta me.

His face's all scrunched up now! Is he ok? Did I do somethin? He's squirmin a lot! Oh shit he's having a nightmare! I gotta wake him up!

"Racer, baby you gotta wake up," he's layin on his back next ta me now and his eyes shoot awake, he looks at me and now he's lookin around. I go back ta runnin my fingers through his hair. "It's ok, it wasn't real, go back ta sleep, ok?" He nods and curls up. I curl up behind him and my arm's around him. He threw the blankets down! I ain't gonna let that happen! I pull them back up. He-oh my god! I'm pullin the blankets up again!

"No," I swear to god Racer- "I'm hot, I want them off." He's poutin and lookin at me.

"Racer, you got a fever. It's little but I don't want ya gettin too sick."

"Probably burnin up cause of the blankets!" I...no!

"No! I'm makin you cover up with them ta stop your fever!"

"BY BURNIN ME TA DEATH!?" ...

"IM NO- I'm not burnin you ta death, you gotta sweat it out."

"...How does that even make sense?"

"I don't know, but it works. At least try it, it's not gonna hurt ya!" He's tryin ta look mad at me but really he's just bein adorable.

"Fine," yes! "But only cause you're cute!" Fair enough! I pull the blankets back up for the third fuckin time and he's already pretty much asleep! He's so peacef-

"ARE YOU TWO DONE!?" WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? FUCKIN ALBERT WOKE UP RACER!

"WHAT THE FUCK ALBERT!?" He looks at me then Racer who's fuckin shakin!

"Oh...I thought...oh."

"YEAH WELL YOU-" Racer's lookin at me. Dammit I hurt his head! "Yeah, well you thought wrong dumbass!" Racer puts his head back down and he's tryin ta sleep again.

"Heheh, wait did you two even...ya know?"

"No! We just made out!" Damn, it doesn't take much for Racer ta fall asleep I guess. Al's walkin over ta us. He's sittin on the bed and lookin at Racer.

"Damn, what did ya do ta get Race ta actually sleep!?" What?

"Whaddya mean?"

"He never can sleep...ever! The fact that you got him ta pass out so quick says a lot," huh! "...he really loves you ya know. He's been way less stressed and way happier. Don't get me wrong, he's still scared about all that's goin on with his sister and his dad, but he's got more comfort cause of you." I didn't think...damn.

"I really love him too! Without him-"

"You don't get it though. He gets so stressed and so anxious ta the point sometimes where he blocks us out completely and there's nothin we can do. He won't sleep, he won't eat, he'll just sit out on the fire escape all night lookin at the stars, at times like that only stars can comfort him. All the shit his dad's done ta him comes back and he gets more jumpy, and fidgety, and...well, not good stuff happens."

"What kinda stuff?"

"It doesn't happen a lot...but it has. He umm...he hurts himself pretty bad," well, my heart just sank. "He gets so caught up in it all and he starts ta think everything's his fault and all the bad shit that's happened ta him and all the stuff that his dad told him just takes control and he uh...if that happens ta him when you're with him, keep an eye on him, don't let him near sharp things." Racer-

"I didn't-I mean I knew he scratched, he's done it before...but I didn't know he did that...how bad's it gotten?"

"It's uhh, it's been bad. He's passed out a couple times. One time I thought he was gonna...I-I thought-"

"It's ok, I um, I get it." I knew he fidgeted and scratched and that but I didn't think it got bad ta the point of-I don't even wanna think about it! I know one thing though, I'm not gonna let that happen to him! I'm not gonna let all that bad stuff get a hold of him and make him hurt himself! I'm lookin at him and I'm runnin my fingers through his hair again. He smirks a little.

"You guys really are perfect for each other." Al's smilin and I am too.

"Tell me somethin I don't know." We both laugh a little. I can't stop thinkin about what he said about Racer! I don't wanna see-I can't see him hurt himself over his son of a bitch father! Can I even tell him Al told me without makin him mad? Should I even tell him I know at all!? Dammit I hate not knowin what ta do! Especially when it's about someone I love! Racer squirms a little and now he's facin me. I pull the blankets up and over his shoulder. Al's smilin.

"I'll leave you two alone now." I nod and smile back. He gets up and he's walkin away. He closes the door and-oh shit! Racer wasn't sleepin this whole time!

"Racer...why weren't you sleepin?"

"I was, until Al came in and then I fell asleep again but when he sat down on the bed, I wanted ta know what he was gonna say. Guess he said a lot."

"Well...was he right about it all," He's lookin around and he nods. "Baby-"

"Spot, not right now, please."

"Ok, but I'm gonna have some words with your dad! I'm gonna beat the shit outta him, then we're gonna get your sister back!"

"Sounds like a plan." He's smilin again.

"Good! Now actually go ta sleep now, I want you ta feel better."

"Ok." He turns over and curls up again. I pull him in and close my eyes too. I wasn't lyin about all that. I am gonna beat the shit outta his dad and I am gonna help him get his sister back! And it ain't gonna be too long till I do that!