Closet rats

4 Eliot

So Clair is becoming more and more friends with Ben. And i think thats a good thing because then she can tell me what he thinks of me. Not that it should matter. I mean for my entire life i have just been ignoring the fact that im gay. I dont like it simply because im the popular one, and i dont want to loose that. I have friends i dont want to end up like Ben. That sounds horrible i know but im just not ready for that yino? You guys are probably just thinking 'stand up to the bully, be who you are' but do you even understand how hard that is? I have stood up to a bully, but that landed me a solid kick out of home. The thing is, my father is very... Well, he is a man. He is a manly man, and he doesnt like anyone different. If you were male, you had to be manly. You had to lift weights, play rugby, drink beer. But i was never like that. My brother was. He was perfect! He was everything my father had hoped for. He lifted weights, he was captain of the rugby team, and drank a lot of beer. Once i realized i was different, i had to tell someone. Me and my brother Kaleb were very close and still are luckily. I told him and he was very accepting, although he didnt think i should come out. After a little while, i got sick of my father constantly abusing me for not being exactly like Kaleb. And i told him. He just stopped yelling and with a complete straight face, no emotion in his eyes, he told me i had 5 minutes to get my stuff and get out of the house. I went up to my room in tears and began to pack my things. Thats when Kaleb came home, came up to me and helped me pack. He turned to me and said that he was going to leave soon too, and i can live with him. I just had to find a place to crash for a week ish. Before i knew it Dad was standing in the hall with his double barrel shot gun pointed at me screaming for me to get out. I jumped through the window and left.
I havent seen my dad since and my mum sends me mail sometimes, when dad is on night shifts so he is sleeping all day so he doesnt know.

Kaleb and i live well together. I have a pizza delivery job and he in between partys and rugby practice, works as a bit of a handy man, he mows launs cleans gutters build fences. He earns good money, and im on alright wages $15 per delivery. We have enough for food and rent, and the guy who owns our place is a lovely old guy who doesnt mind if we are a bit late with our weekly rent. I actually really love having a job because although our house is small, the rent money is very little and we usually have a lot of leftover money so i have made my room up real nice!

Speaking of my house! I invited Ben over. I couldnt not. He is just so damn cute! We will probably end up watching movies all night but thats cool. Ill probably ask Kaleb to get us some booze and chips and dip. Its awesome because Kaleb, being the special one, had a flat screen when we lived with our parents, and since he often isnt home, he let me have it in my room! Its gonna be awesome.

 There is also Jacks party in a month and a bit on The Island. Cant wait, our whole year is going.