The day they thought would never come

Prequel snippet 5 - The morning

Gabrielle POV---

Evil light. I can feel it on my face. Why is it trying to bother me? Can't it tell I am sleeping? I am comfortable and warm. I feel just right for once. I can't remember the last time I felt this secure, this at peace.

Oh, that feels so nice. Jack is still stroking my hair. I love it when he does that. It makes me feel...

Wait... Jack.... I can feel his legs under my head. I can feel his warmth. He has that Jack smell. Jack is here.

Rush of memories are flooding my brain as I slowly remember last night.

Oh god. I almost.... and then he came. My Jack. Ok, well maybe he isn't my Jack anymore, but he still came to me when I needed him the most.

After everything that happened. Everything I did and let happen, he still came. I don't know what I did to deserve this after what I let our lives devolve into. Right now I am just happy he doesn't hate me.

Wait... Jaycee, Jack's girlfriend. She came by last night. She knows he was here with me and didn't have a fit. She was ok with it. We talked for a bit. It's coming back in pieces right now. I really am not a morning person in the best of times.

Today.... She said we would talk more but she needed to talk to Jack alone. She was almost asking permission to talk alone to her boyfriend from me, his ex. Something weird is happening that I just don't understand. I feel so confused about everything.

Honestly Gabrielle, THINK. Confusion is better then depression isn't it? We are better then we were yesterday, aren't we?

Hmmm. Maybe I am going nuts. I am having a discussion with myself in my head. I always heard hearing voice was so not a good thing. It's right though. I am feeling better then before.

Jack did that. He was always able to do that. No matter how much we would fight. No matter how much his words could cut me. He could always make me feel better then anyone I have ever known.

I still don't understand why I gave up on us so easily. I know the reasons. I know the feelings I had back then. I mean we just discussed them last night. I know things weren't perfect. I know Jack wasn't perfect. We had problems. But we had also talked about it and he was getting better. So why didn't I fight instead of just giving up?

I am not sure I can ever explain it. Even to myself. I wasn't totally wrong for what I did... I don't think. I wasn't right either. I...

Ok Gabrielle STOP. Enough. That is the past. It's time to think about the future. Jack said he is going to stick by you. He is going to help you. Even if it's not the way you really want.

My mind really needs to stop talking to me. I am confused enough as it is about everything. No need to bring up things that will not happen. I need to concentrate on what can happen.

God, if he keeps doing that to my hair I might just fall asleep again. No, don't stop doing that. It feels so nice. Maybe we can stay here all day like this. I think I could be happy just doing that. I really don't want to move.

No Gabrielle, no more hiding. It's a new day and I am going to get up and face what comes. I am not alone. Someone understands. Someone that cares is going to help me face my problems.

Some one is going to help me find the strength to stand up and remind my life that I am me. Watch out world, Gabrielle is coming.

That reminds me. I have to call Cassie this morning. Jack is right. If she contacted him, then she must be really freaking out. I am sorry she found that note. When I wrote it I was balancing on the edge of knife. I had no idea if I needed it, but I wanted it ready just in case.

No, I am happy she found that note. Not for scaring the crap out of her. But for what came from it. Jack is here. I am feeling alive, confused, but alive. Not just living, but alive. I'm not sure anyone would understand the difference, but hey, I do. That's what matters.

Well, I think Jack would understand. He was always deeper then anyone ever gave him credit for. He always understood me in a way that my family and friends never did.

So, to do list for this morning. Clean up. Call Cassie. Eat something.

Hey I am getting hungry. Wow, I forgot what it felt like to want to eat instead of just eating to live.

Ok back to list. Convince Jack that he can go talk to Jaycee.

That might take some convincing. I think after last night he might be a little worried about leaving me alone right now. I will have to make him understand that I trust that he will come back. I know in my heart he is not going to leave me hanging and alone.

Then talk to Jaycee myself.

I think this is going to be awkward. We talked last night but I was kind of off my rocker and she was so sweet to me.

Funny, I can't bring myself to hate her anymore. Not after what she did for me just because she thought I was in trouble. She is so understanding. I could see it in her eyes. I know she knows how I really feel. Not just about everything... also how I feel about Jack. For a few seconds I thought I saw acceptance about it.

No that can't be right. I am imaging things. Even for someone as sweet and caring as she seems, there is no one that would be ok with her boyfriend's ex still being in love with him.

No matter. I need Jack in my life again, even if it's only as a friend. So that means I have to accept Jaycee. I have to like Jaycee. Jack is too important for me not to. No matter what happens I won't try to hurt their relationship like I did ours. She deserves that at least.

Ok, so what else do I need to do today.... I really should make a video. It has been a couple of days. I wonder if Jack and Jaycee would help me. I mean they don't have to be in it, but maybe they could help me set it up and vlog. It would be almost like old times. I think I would like that.

Well that is enough talking to myself for this morning. It's time to get up.

Come on, eyes need to open. It's time to get up.

Ok. Maybe a few more minutes lying here just feeling content is in order. But I am ready to see what the new day will bring.

No. I am excited to see what the new day will bring.