Unwilling To Hate You (MAJOR EDITING)

1

This book is copyrighted.

~~~~

A person who feels the need to change who they are to fit into society is not a confident person. In this world, today, I feel no need to fit in. People often mistaken me as being selfish and arrogant. They think just because I don't follow the social norms that are set out by some whitewashed misogynistic men, that I am the one that is immoral. I am inclined to disagree with their opinions on me. They are wrong. Opinions are worthless, they're a waste of precious vocabulary that could be used on so much more valuable sentences that contain the truth. Now when I say 'whitewashed misogynistic men' I mean no offence to the male population. The world spins because we have men and women, and those who identify differently. The world spins because of all of us. Men and women are a part of the reproductive process, so what I'm trying to say and what I'm trying very hard to make clear, is that just because I believe that most of society is run by misogynistic men, I don't mean that all of the men on the planet are as such.

In my life, I have learned that people can be deceiving. People lie much more than what they are given credit for, I hate lies. I think everyone at some point hates lies, because to know that you have been deceived by someone you care about greatly is a horrible thing to experience. Friends are only friends until it doesn't benefit them anymore, people are only kind until they have a different opinion on you, and your family is only your family until you mess up. Well, that's my family anyway. When you have so much riding on you, such high hopes for a young woman like me, if you go against those hopes and dreams that your parents had paved a way for you, you will realise that they only helped you for as long as they did because they wanted you to do the things that they didn't. They want to live their regrets through you. When you realise that a lot of things in life can be unconditional until they are conditional, you will see things a lot differently.

I started to see things differently before I should have. Growing up in a family surrounded by violence and betrayal, you will learn soon enough that people who said that they will love you forever will love you until they choose not to. Now I'm not a believer in being able to choose who you love. I don't think it's a thing, I think that's a huge factor as to why people cheat. It's a choice to cheat, one that a lot of disloyal people do, but they do it because they like to have that choice. They crave the freedom of being able to choose. But if you go against something they believe in, you're wrong. You're wrong for believing in something different, you're entirely ignorant if you think that they will come to a compromise. Compromises are mature. A lot of people aren't.

Some people say I'm too weak. They said that being the daughter of someone so powerful, means I was only as strong as my protectors were. They would say that who I am now, who I have become is because of my family. That I either slept my way to the top or my family paid off some big shot employment agency. Yet again, they were wrong. I could sit here and say how affected and worthless I feel that someone had those thoughts on me, I could write a book on how those that seek to gain power only do that because of jealousy. I could say that my family and the traumas that I have grown up around have shaped me. But the majority of that would be a lie; becoming someone that I want to become is up to me and only me.

I am here because of me.