a dauntless love

chapter 9 (part 1)

Tris POV:

Im terrified, but I have to be brave. Crying about it wont get me anywhere, I have to face this problem head on. I pull back from the hug with Tobias and without thinking, I kiss him. But not a gentle kiss, I am certain of this kiss, I fill it with all the emotion I can muster. He kisses me back without hesitation and we stay like that until we pull apart needing air. Tobias' stomach grumbles and I laugh, "You wanna go get some food?" I ask mockingly. We had out to the cafeteria. When we get out food and sit back down with the gang, Chris, Will, Uriah, Zeke, Shauna, and Uriahs friends; Lynn and Marlyn. I want to get to know them better, they seem cool. As we sit, Max stands up, there is a loud thunder of cups against tables, whoops and yells until everyone quiets down, I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Max raises his hands and starts "I have an announcement to make" he yells so everyone can here him, he lowers his hands, "i will be retiring" he states, there are a series on murmurs and shocked faces "I know this is unexpected but I am handing my position over to some one I believe will do well and lead dauntless to greatness" he says, stoping for a moment for effect "I have appointed Eric, he will be taking over from me as of Friday this week" everyone is shocked, so am I. How could he hand dauntless over to Eric, does he not know what a jerk he is? The stillness in the air is unnerving, Dauntless are never silent, theres is always at least one murmur, or a soft giggle in the background, but now; It is absolutely silent. "that will be all" max finishes up, he steps down and walks over to his previous seat. I turn my attention back to my friends and the loud chatter of the compound starts back up again. "oh my god" is all Christina can say, we are all silent. "this wont be good" will states, we all nod. I grab Tobias' hand under the table so no one see's, he squeezes my hand in reassurance. We eat in silence for the rest of dinner and we decide to head back to our apartments. When I get to my apartment I wave to Christina and Tobias, they're both on the same floor as me, just further down the hallway. I walk into my trashed apartment, and I start to clean up. It doesn't take long since I didn't have many belongings in the first place. It takes me about an hour and a half. I go to the shower and turn the hot water on, it steams up the bathroom quickly and I get in, leaving a trail on my clothes across the floor, I let the hot water wash over me, I imagine it washing away all my problems. I thought it would get easier after initiation, but instead I've just unlocked some more. Al's dead because of me, Eric is the new leader of dauntless, he's in contact with jeanine, Marcus is working with jeanine, and jeanine wants something from me and it involves Tobias. I cant loose anyone ells, my parents mysteriously died right after visiting day, my brother hates me because I don't trust Erudite, I mean how could I trust them? My hole life I've been raised to hate them? So I've pretty much lost my brother. What Am I going to do? I tern the water off and get into bead, I fall asleep quickly and Im out like a light.