can't you see || asahi hamada ✔

十

Ever since Haruto announced that I was his girlfriend, my instagram private messages had been flooded with desperate girls asking for advice. As I jumped off my bicycle that day, I sighed. It was so hard to accept the fact that Haruto was popular.

Don't get me wrong - I was happy for Haruto that he was popular. But did that mean he might forget me? I never knew. 

"Akari!" someone shouted as I jumped out of my skin. Haruto, speak of the devil.

"I made this for you," he smiled as he handed me a lunch box. Inside was a bento box with salmon and a heart in the middle made with rice. 

"Ya, since when did you become so romantic?" I teased as Haruto stuck his tongue out at me. 

"Haruto! Can I take a picture with you?" a girl ran forward as I stepped back, gesturing for Haruto to accept her request. 

"It's fine," I forced a smile.

"You're so cute today," the girl giggled.

"So are you," Haruto replied smoothly. I diverted my eyes to the ground as I played with my fingers. Was this jealousy? 

You're supposed to be happy for your boyfriend if he's popular right? Be happy for him, Akari. He's just being nice. He's just being nice. Nothing else. 

"Thank you!" she gushed as she waved at me and dashed away. 

"Haruto-" I coughed as he turned back. As I opened my mouth to request that he maintains a more neutral relationship with girls around him, I stopped myself. He just reached Japan not long ago, maybe I shouldn't force things yet?

"Nevermind," I smiled as I interlocked my fingers in his and we walked to class in utter silence. 

During class, I heard the occasional giggles of girls sitting at the back row, where they gushed over Haruto's jokes; he was probably flirting with them. As I turned my head slightly to the back, I watched Haruto pinch another girl's cheek from the corner of my eye. 

Be happy for him. He's just being nice. It rang in my head again. Yes, just give him some time. You need to be patient, Akari, he's just adjusting. 

I stared down at my worksheet, but I wasn't even in the mood to do anything anymore. Seeing Haruto flirt or even joke with other girls made me feel...It wasn't a good feeling, as if someone stuffed expired food down your throat. 

Asahi shifted closer to me as he whispered, "Are you okay?" 

I breathed in and maintained a positive tone, "Yeah." 

"We have a swimming competition tomorrow. Remember that. It's a friendly competition but we still have to be in the mood for it. Don't let Haruto bring you down," Asahi comforted as he patted my back. 

"Take this," he handed me a mini Kit-Kat as he winked at me. "Go on," he mouthed as he opened the Kit-Kat in his hand. Wow, we had matching Kit-Kats; something only Asahi would do. I smiled and tore open the wrapper, stuffing the chocolate into my mouth.

"Good?" Asahi mouthed as I nodded, feeling much better. Asahi then proceeded to ruffle my hair and drew smiley faces on my worksheet, adding a note that said, "Stay happy."

After the first period, we had a free period. As I walked to the toilet, I heard a couple flirting. I smiled and turned into the corner only to see Haruto pinning a girl on the wall. 

"You're so pretty today," Haruto whispered down at the girl.

He's just being nice. Be happy for him.

But I couldn't take it anymore. 

I turned around, thinking I could escape this awkward moment and pretend I had never seen Haruto with that girl. But I couldn't.

"Haruto!" I yelled, much to my surprise, as I stomped forward to the pair.

"Who are you?" the girl's high-pitched voice cut through the air as I rolled my eyes. 

"His girlfriend," I mumbled as I took Haruto's wrist.

"He told me he doesn't have one," she sneered. I turned to face Haruto as he looked down. 

"Haruto Watanabe," I sighed. "You know, if you never wanted to date me, you could have just told me. You don't have to pretend to like me you know?" I whispered but teardrops dotted the floor as I looked away. 

"Akari, listen, I-" 

"Stop it Haruto. I'm done. Call me impatient because it's been one day, but the amount of flirting you have done in one day." 

Tears streamed down my cheeks. 

"Is too much." 

I felt my heart drop as my voice became shaky. 

"You have changed Akari," Haruto stated coldly.

He didn't bother to approach me. Instead, he stood rooted to the ground, eyes piercing right through me. 

"No, it's you!" I yelled as more tears spewed out.

"Stop acting pathetic! You are pathetic! Stop acting like the victim. You keep doing that. I don't know what happened after I left, but this isn't the Akari I used to know! What happened to trust?" Haruto suddenly raised his voice as I was taken aback. 

"How do you expect me to trust you when you have told so many lies?!" I screamed, my makeup smudging as my tears washed them away. 

"You're just being paranoid!" Haruto shouted.

"No I'm not..." I sobbed.

"And have you seen yourself? You flirt with Asahi too! So since you can flirt, why can't I?! Sometimes you need to see how freaking toxic you are!" Haruto snapped. 

is this the haruto i know?
the one that would comfort me when i was sad?
the one that would stand up for me no matter what?
the one that helped me with everything?
the one that i cherished so much?
the one that...i knew when we were younger?

I was panting. I was sobbing. Because of Haruto Watanabe. 

I can't take it Haruto. You're hurting me. But you're oblivious. 

I turned around and ran. Running where? I didn't know. All I wanted to do was get away from here. Get away from all this drama.

"Yeah, run away Akari! Like you always do! Run away from all you damn problems!" Haruto screamed behind me as his words pierced through my heart.

And get away from Haruto Watanabe.