Surfacing

Chapter 15

One year later

Janet

"Janet, you've come a long way in a year. Where do you do you see yourself a year from now?"  Dr. Grayson asked.

"I didn't want to come here but I see that it was for the best. By next year I want to be performing my music and loving on my daughter. She is the light at the end of my tunnel."

"Is there anything that you would like but you don't think you're ready for?"

"Love that's reciprocated. Every relationship I was in I thought that I could eventually love them enough for both of us. I see now that's not healthy for anyone."

"You say love, have you spoken to her?"

"I haven't spoken to or seen her in since the day before I came here. I talk to her sister all the time, so I know she's ok."

"Can you say her name? Or we still not there yet?"

"I can't say her name, it still hurts but I'm learning to get over it."

"What going to happen when you run into her? You said you still talk to her sister. What if she invites you to a family gathering and she's there? Will you be able to speak to her?"

"I'm hoping that by the time that happens I will at least be able to have a short civil conversation. I don't hate her, she just hurt me so deeply."

"Well Janet, you are on your way to healing. It will be a continuous process but it will you've got this. I'll see you next week."

"See you next week Dr. Grayson."

It had been along road when she ended up being placed in a facility. She was there for three months, but her mother brought her baby to see her every week. Her daughter was what helped her to push through. Journey was almost a year and a half and so full of energy. She definitely keeps her mother going. This had been on long year and it helped her to process her feelings. As she said she didn't hate Toni she very much still loved her but if that love wasn't returned what could she do?

At the car she saw her mother and daughter. It was going to be girls day, they were going to lunch then doing a little shopping. Journey needed some new clothes and shoes. One thing that surprised her in the last year is that Jermaine finally started acting like a father. He would come see Journey once a month and spend the weekend with her. It wasn't enough but it was better than nothing.

Toni

The last year for Toni hadn't been a piece of cake. It seemed like everyone was mad at her. It took until recently for her and Tamar to even be on speaking terms. Her little sister went from being one of her best friends to someone she no longer knew. She had been recording a lot of music with Kenny. She and Kenny were barely on speaking terms but he had written some beautiful songs. She sang her pain out in every song. This new album she was ready to release was her story of the last year. She had been up and down. She hadn't seen Janet since the day she had decided to go see her. She knew from Tamar and Towanda that Janet ended being placed in a facility for three months. In one year she had lost the love of her life and her best friend.

Toni thought about Janet everyday and wished she could turn back the hands of time. She wished she could have made the right choice. There is some kind of connection between her and Journey. It's like she sometimes see what Journey sees and vice versa. There were a lot of things Toni wished for but she didn't think they'd even come true. She was sad that she was the reason the love her of her life had gone through so much in just a year.

"Toni...Toni...earth to Toni." She didn't realize LA was talking to her until he played some drums really loud in her headphones.

"LA! That hurt."