Bellarke | The 100 Fanfiction

Head

Clarke's P.O.V.

Emori and Murphy lay on the improvised couch we've made from a table, cloth and pillows. It's all the way to the wall, so you can lean onto it.

My eyes watch them every now and then, trying to realize if I envy them.

"Would be amazing to have someone you love next to you, wouldn't it?" Raven talks next to me.

I look at her, knowing she still misses Finn.

I shake my head slowly. "I haven't felt romantic feelings towards anyone since Lexa died. Before her, I only felt that about Finn," I say with a heavy voice. "Before I killed him with a knife."

She looks to the floor in pain, her jaw tightening. "You did what you had to do," she says. "They would've tortured him," a tears sheds down her cheek. "You did him a favor, Clarke. It's not your fault he surrendered."

My eyes fill with water again. On the ground, there was so much stuff constantly going on, I haven't had time to sit back and reflect on my deeds. There was always pressing and distress.
But now, all we can do is wait and think.
And I don't like where my head is taking me.

"Do you miss her?" she asks.

I swallow hard, nodding. "Now more than ever."

She almost scoffs. "Figures. What wouldn't I give for some good sex right now..."

I look at her in shock and she laughs. "Relax, I know he's off limits."

I frown as my eyes follow her gaze towards Bellamy, who -I now notice - is staring at me.

My eyes meet his and I give him a small smile.

"I don't know why everyone keeps saying that," I tell Raven. "He's my best friend, that's all."

Her lips curl in amusement. "It doesn't have to be all there is to it."

I watch her get up, then my eyes fall back to Bellamy's dark curls, that constant frown on his forehead, and I suddenly have the desire to remove it. To see him happy. Relaxed.

Where's your head taking you, Clarke?

"Oh, God," I murmur, laying back onto the blankets spread across the floor. It seems like five years are never going to pass.

________
End of ch 5.