Sanders Sides One-shots

Dramatics (Vent Fic)

TW: Anxiety attack, Mention of abuse(no one gets hurt or has ever gotten hurt, it's only mentioned), anxiety attack getting invalidated ("stop being dramatic"), feelings getting ignored.

A/N- I feel like right now, I should really stress that an anxiety attack and a panic attack are two different things. Anxiety attacks have triggers, and start settling down when the trigger is gone. Anxiety attacks are nowhere near as extreme and spontaneous as panic attacks, but they still matter. And it hurts when they get invalidated. Panic Attacks, based on what I've read online, feel like you're dying and can happen out of no where. This is a vent fic. 

Roman stared at the scene that was happening. His brother and father were in a heated argument. Again. Neither of them knew when to stop, which led to situations that scared Roman. Roman has gotten into his fair share of arguments with his father, but he was usually quick to back down, only speaking when forced to. Roman has developed some anxiety over the years, only natural in teens, Roman being 14 at the moment.

Roman's father has difficulty holding his temper, no secret there. His mother often has to tell him when to calm down. But his brother just kept pushing. His father and brother kept advancing on eachother, and Roman felt the fear built up in his chest. This has happened once before. Roman had to go downstairs, and there, he hyperventilated until his legs went numb. Then, when he still heard arguing upstairs, he went outside and listened to music until his mom found him.

This time, he didn't have the luxury of getting away, he had school soon, plus they were in the living room, blocking the way. Roman doesn't even know what the argument is about. Something about a toothbrush? Roman had both of them yell at him about it earlier, though, he got overwhelmed and had to yell over them to stop yelling at him.

Roman's father told Remus to give him his phone, but Remus refused, because he didn't feel it was just. At this point, Roman was curled up on the couch. He was hyperventilating over crying, curled up in a blanket on the couch. Nobody was paying attention to him, or nobody cared that he was having an anxiety attack at the moment.

Of course, nobody ever cares when he has an anxiety attack. His family just tell him he's being dramatic and laugh about it, because he gets anxiety attacks over needles and shots. And that hurts...to get something he's terribly afraid of brushed off as him just, "being dramatic" as always. He's always had a flare for the theatrics, but he has real feelings, too...

He peeked out and saw his parents wrestled their son to the ground to get his phone. Roman immediately hid again, before he could comprehend what he saw, and immediately his hyperventilation increased. His father, his family, never abused nor hit him or his brother. Most of the time, they were a loving, normal family. And nobody did get hurt at the moment. But it felt like someone was so close to getting injured, especially his brother, who, though he'll never admit it, he does care about.

Roman felt his mother come over. Finally! Someone noticed his anxiety attack! His mother was kind and gentle! His mother was comforting and she cared about him, she was gonna comfort Roman and tell the boys to knock it off.

But...

"Roman, get up, stop being dramatic."

Roman felt his heart shatter. W- what...? Roman...he's just being dramatic...? She's mad at him...she's mad at him for his anxiety attack...Roman curled up further, his breathing definitely not any better. He couldn't just stop! And he's not being dramatic! He's terrified his brother is gonna get hurt! He's not being dramatic!

"Roman."

Roman just stayed curled up, hyperventilating. He felt his mother put her arm on his curled up knees (he was laying on his side, curled up in the blanket). That was it. That's the only comfort he was getting, and it's not even meant to be comfort. He suddenly felt himself feel less secure around his mother. He was having an anxiety attack...and she didn't care...it hurt...that hurt...

He continued to gasp through his crying. Nothing having calmed him down. Him still in the midst of an anxiety attack. His mother right next to him, fully aware of what was happening with him...but she thinks he's just being over dramatic and difficult. That only made his attack worse.

Finally, the argument dissolved somehow. His father and mother left next to him on the couch.

His mother told him to get up and go to school, telling him to quit being dramatic. But that only made his fear worse. But she didn't care. She was mad at him and said his full name in that parent way, where you know that you're in trouble. So- Roman forced himself to stand up and clean himself up a bit before getting back to school. Resolving his anxiety attack, only through the fear of getting in trouble. But that didn't mean he was okay.

School was difficult to finish. He had to help his brother through an aftermath breakdown. After which, Remus went back upstairs and resolved things with his parents.

Roman was fine. Not that anybody asked. Not that anybody cared. Roman forced himself not to cry as he watched, before getting back to school. Acting as if everything were okay.

He felt like trash for the rest of the day. He felt less comfortable with his mother after that. It hurts being told you're being dramatic when you're obviously, very clearly, upset. Especially when you're told by someone you deeply trusted.

Roman was fine, though. However, those words will stay inside his head. Always. Whenever he was upset, he'd tell himself

"Stop being dramatic."

"You're just being dramatic."

And it hurts. But, it's fine.