Plain Pain: A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 52

If you're still reading this, I applaud you. I've been gone for way too long. I mean, I'm not obligated to update this story, but I owe it to everyone reading to let them finish what they started. Just know that of course I am finishing this book. I wouldn't delete it or abandon it for good. I'm sure a lot of people have grown impatient with my lack of updates, and even though they're probably not reading this right now, I would like to apologize to them, as well as everyone who has stuck with me till this very day. I'm sorry. I can't make enough excuses to make you understand why I was gone. So I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Thank you, and enjoy.

________________

It had been about an hour since Niall left the room. I tried to focus on the sound coming from the television but the thoughts in my head were all I could hear, though at the same time, I couldn't comprehend them no matter how hard I tried. Nothing made sense.

There were so many meanings to the way Niall reacted to my...attire that I didn't know what to think anymore. However, I was more bothered by the fact that I suddenly felt the need to impress Niall. I loved him, I knew I did, but I didn't want to repeat history so why was I acting towards that very direction? It was as if I thought something and did the exact opposite.

I tried living without Niall for a decent amount of time, and even though I survived, I was never really happy. I got so used to the feeling of loneliness I'd become acquainted with in Niall's absence that I didn't realize it was consuming me. I found the happiness that I never knew I was missing when I saw him again, but at the same time, he made me crave more with every word he said and everything he did.

The way him and my happiness had a habit of becoming some sort of package deal frightened me, and I always caught myself panicking over the thought of him leaving again. Yet despite all that, I continued to do everything that would eventually cause him to do just that, but I couldn't control myself around him sometimes. I had to act upon the feelings I held towards him whenever he was next to me, and it seemed like there was nothing I could do about it.

"Get dressed, we leave in thirty minutes," Niall's voice interrupted my thoughts, causing me to look up from the ground and at a fully dressed Niall. He tamed his previously unruly hair and was wearing a different outfit.

When he got no reply from me, he sat himself down on the sofa, making sure to keep a considerable distance between us, and gave his full attention to the phone in his hands. Sighing, I stood up and walked to my room, locking the door behind me and beginning to get dressed.

~

"Are you coming backstage or staying on the tour bus again?" Harry inquired as he walked around the miniature living room, picking up a few things here and there and dropping them into his satchel.

I looked up at him from my spot on the couch, "Staying."

He stopped and turned to look at me, sighing, "You can't avoid him forever, you know?"

"Look, it's not like I'm trying to avoid him. He's already ignoring me, what am I supposed to do? Bow down at his feet and beg him to look at me?" I rolled my eyes.

It had been two weeks ever since that night in New York. I suppose since then, Niall had made the decision to completely overlook my existence for whatever reason. I racked my head for every possible thing that I could've done wrong, but never came to a conclusion. I tried to talk to Niall about it during several occasions, but received the cold shoulder every single time. My pride had taken too many hits before I finally decided enough was enough, so I gladly gave Niall, and everyone else in the process, the space they needed and completely isolated myself, only leaving the tour bus when required.