Plain Pain: A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 56

I woke up the next morning to find that I had the bed all to myself. The curtains were drawn open and the sheets were messed up, the duvet halfway across the room. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, fixing my hair and blinking multiple times to see more clearly. Niall was dressed and in the process of cleaning up the room, putting everything back in its rightful place.

"Morning," I croaked, clearing my throat as he turned around to face me.

He smiled at me, "Hey, you're awake. Mornin'," he said and went back to cleaning almost right away. Memories from last night came flooding back into my mind and I could feel my heart begin to race again.

I shook my head and saw my reflection in the vanity across the room, suddenly feeling self-conscious about my appearance. I turned my head around to look at the digital clock on the bedside table to find that it was 12:30 pm.

"When do we have to check out?" I asked Niall, getting up from the bed and making sure to grab the pants I'm wearing tightly so they don't fall off since the drawstrings had come undone overnight.

"Uh, at one," Niall replied as he started collecting his things off the vanity.

I slid the closet open and furrowed my eyebrows at Niall whose back was facing me, "Oh my god, Niall, why didn't you wake me up?"

Niall chuckled and walked towards me to put his things in the suitcase by my legs. He crouched down and smiled up at me, "I actually did, but you weren't very compliant."

I sighed in annoyance, "It's that damn bed. So comfy."

Niall got up after zipping up his small suitcase, "Yeah, but to be fair, we also fell asleep pretty late last night."

My breath hitched up in my throat as he hinted at what happened last night. He ran his hands down his jeans to straighten up the fabric and I struggled to change the subject.

I decided to merely nod and look back inside the closet to take last night's dress out. I furrowed my eyebrows as I suddenly realized something about Niall looked different this morning. I looked up from my dress towards Niall who was staring at the window far off to his left.

I lifted my hand to touch his jawline, which immediately caught his attention, "Did you shave this morning?"

He laughed lightly, "Yeah, did you like the beard?" he asked as my hand dropped back to my side.

I scoffed, "It was a stubble, Niall. Don't get ahead of yourself," I teased.

He rolled his eyes before I looked down at the dress in my hand and continued, "You look good regardless."

I quickly brushed past him and towards the bathroom to change, leaving him in the room to ponder over what I'd just said.

I locked myself in the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, resting my hands against the sink. I didn't know how I was supposed to treat Niall after what happened between us last night. I could feel the tension grow with every second that we stood together out there. Of all the imaginary scenarios I'd conjured up in my head about me and Niall in the past, this was the only one that's never crossed my mind. I never thought I'd be the one questioning whether a relationship is something we really needed. In fact, I never really thought I would be in a position where I'd have to consider something like this to begin with. Suddenly, I realized that there were a million ways in which this could go wrong and only one way it could go right.

I decided to weigh out my options.

Niall was my best friend, and I worked with him. Our families were friends and to be frank, he was the only constant in my life. Losing him would jeopardize my friendship with him, and not to mention, my job, too. A relationship would mean more fights, more problems. Besides, I lived in New York and he lived in London. I wouldn't be willing to abandon my academy back in New York to be with him until the next tour started, and who knew when that would be. A year from now? Two years? It could never work out.

On the other hand, I loved him. I knew I did, and I wasn't sure if I could ever feel this way about anyone else again. And he felt something for me, too. This is what I've been waiting for ever since I was 16, and it was happening now. So why was I overthinking it? Why did I not feel as happy as I always thought I would be? Was I always blind to all the possible consequences a relationship with Niall could pertain to? Did Niall even want a relationship? I'd been so caught up in my own dilemma that I forgot what Niall must be thinking, too. Maybe last night was a one time thing for him. Maybe his attraction to me was purely physical. How could I assume that he was just as in love with me as I was with him? How could I be so stupid?

I refrained from pulling at my own hair and pulled my hands away from the sink, deciding to quickly get dressed before it seemed like I'd spent too long in the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before I tied my hair into a ponytail to conceal the unruly mess it has turned into overnight. I then finally unlocked the bathroom to see Niall sitting on the edge of the bed, typing something into his phone before looking up at me and asking if I was ready. I nodded quietly and sat next to him to put my shoes on as he watched me intently, perhaps staring at the unnecessary distance I've created between our bodies before I sat down. He stood up and put his phone into his back pocket before grabbing his suitcase and walking towards the door. I followed him once I had both my shoes on and we both left the hotel room silently.

Niall's limo took us back to our original hotel so we could pack before we headed over to Philadelphia; our last stop of the tour.

The car ride was fairly awkward, with both of us trying to look busy with our phones. Although I normally enjoyed Niall's company, I couldn't get out of that limo fast enough. As soon as I reached my room, I began to pack what little clothes I had in the closet back into my suitcase. I'd learned not to unpack too many things over the space of this tour because we never really spent too long staying anywhere, and the packing process became more and more mundane with each stop.

We took the tour bus to Pennsylvania, and the ride wasn't too long. It was a little longer than three hours before we reached the last hotel in Philadelphia where we'd be staying. My nerves were growing more and more tense as I realized that soon enough, I'd have to head back to New York and Niall would have to head back to London. I didn't wanna think too much about that, but I couldn't stand the idea of our last few days together being spent in awkward silence.

I unlocked the door to my hotel room and dragged my suitcase inside, leaving it next to the now closed door and heading straight towards the bed. I really needed to get some sleep. I reached for the TV remote on the bedside table and watched a rerun of How I Met Your Mother. Before I knew it, I was falling asleep.