Plain Pain: A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 70

It's been exactly 32 days since I last saw Niall in person, and I've been according to Trisha "rather obsessively" counting. I tried to call him once after my sit-down with Louise last month, but I just couldn't bring myself to press his number. I stared at it for what seemed like a lifetime before I got a phone call from Trisha and used that as an excuse to just ring Niall later.

I never did.

He didn't try to contact me either, not even when I flew into Ireland for Denise's Bachelorette party, and I could imagine why considering what I did to him.

I could feel the all-too-familiar feeling of loneliness creeping back into my life; something Niall had so easily taken away with his presence once we started working together. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to feel so empty. To feel like something was missing. Like something inside of me was broken beyond repair, and I've done it all to myself.

The only contact we've had ever since he and I parted was on Christmas Eve. I'd finally mustered up enough courage to send him a "Merry Christmas" text, to which he responded with the exact same words, but nothing seemed warm about it. The curt exchange made me feel like he responded because he felt obligated to, but it was still better than nothing.

I began wondering what I would say to him at his brother's wedding only four days from now as I packed my suitcase for tomorrow's flight to Ireland.

Maura had offered for me to stay at the house during my time there, but I insisted on booking a hotel room, claiming that I needed my own bedroom to get changed in and that I didn't want to crowd their house before the wedding. After a lot of convincing, she finally relented. But the truth was that I didn't want to spend time with her son since I figured that was the last thing he wanted after what I'd done to him.

I zipped up my suitcase and sat on my bed, picking up my phone and staring longingly at the last text he sent me. My hands ached to press on his number and call him, tell him that I love him, too, and that I couldn't stand another minute sitting here without him. Instead, I locked my phone and laid down, closing my eyes and going to sleep.

                  *****************

I was gonna see Niall tonight for the first time in 34 days at Denise and Greg's rehearsal dinner, and saying that I was nervous would've been the understatement of the century. My hands were practically shaking as I walked into the air conditioned ballroom with the high ceiling and cream carpeted floor. People in elegant dresses and expensive suit dotted the likewise fancy hall, and I inwardly applauded Greg and Denise for their choice of location.

I walked around aimlessly before I was finally able to spot the bride-to-be, and she smiled at me from across the room. She spotted me as she spoke to a group of people whom I assumed to be her friends, and gestured for me to come over.  I approached her right away, and she gave me a quick hug when I reached her before she introduced me to her friends.

I hadn't seen Niall since I came here to Ireland, and although I knew he was well aware that I was in town, he never even bothered to call. It was bothering me, but then I hadn't called him, either, so I guess we were even.

Greg soon joined our growing circle and he gave me the extra glass of champagne he was holding in his hand, claiming that he'd seen me from across the room and assumed I needed something "to take the edge off." I smiled at him forcedly and took the drink, not appreciating his unsubtle way of telling me that everyone in the room could tell I was undeniably nervous.

I nearly downed the entire drink of champagne in one go, but stopped myself before I could make a scene in front of Denise's friends. I smiled and laughed when appropriate as I sipped on the liquid that didn't really do much to ease my nerves like Greg had claimed. I needed another one.