Plain Pain: A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 23

I took a look at my wristwatch and grabbed my cup of coffee, took a sip and then positioned it back on the glass table, waiting impatiently for Trisha to show up.

The weather was peaceful today. Usually, when someone feels inner peace, they start to get lost into their own thoughts, but my definition of peace was to have the wind running through my hair as the music blared out of my earphones and into my ears with nothing on my mind.

I took in the sight in front of me. The surrounding tables were occupied by different people in the outdoor café. String lights framed the shade structure above my head, giving the area an enchanting glow. The wind ran through my hair, making all of my tensed muscles relax. The moon's additional, neglected, glow made the place look all the more magical. The city lights made it seem like it was Christmas, though it was no where near Christmas time since it was only spring.

The cool night breeze nipped at the bare skin of my legs since I was wearing shorts. The weather wasn't particularly hot enough for shorts, but it wasn't like I had a choice. There was no way that I could fit my pants through my restraining medical boot that I had grown to loathe deeply. It felt trapped because I couldn't dance anymore.

Dancing was, at most times, my only escape, but then when that was temporarily taken away, I had way too much time on my hands and I didn't like it. My way of avoiding over thinking things was to keep myself busy all the time, and since dancing usually kept me preoccupied before the accident, it being taken away set my brain in motion. There was so much to think about, and so little to do. The funny thing was that every thought that went through my head ended up having something to do with Niall, making the action of just thinking troublesome.

I didn't like the way he always carved his way into my mind even when he was not around, but of course, there had to be a reason behind that. The reason wasn't unknown. I knew I felt that way because I missed him. Yes, I finally admitted to myself that I missed my ex best friend, but I promised myself to never admit that to anyone else, especially Niall.

I still couldn't make up my mind about the job I was offered. Being One Direction's permanent choreographer could be a huge career move for me. Sure, I'd been associated with several celebrities before, and sure, I'd choreographed several dance routines for award shows, concerts or music videos but those were all short-term jobs.

Still, if I accepted the offer, that would mean I'd have to move countries; leave my studio, my friends and the place I'd been living in for almost two years. I couldn't do that. I couldn't leave everything and everyone behind.

The reasons I had just previously stated did not, however, contribute greatly to my adamance to accept the offer. I knew very well that I was just trying to make the entire idea seem bad so that I wouldn't have to express why I really didn't want to go. I knew that if I were to go anywhere near Niall again, he'd try to make me forgive him just like he did when he was in New York. Rejecting and ignoring him was easier said than done. It was hard ignoring the person I shared my entire childhood and most of teenage years with, no matter how bad he'd hurt me. Even though I admitted to myself that I missed Niall, I still wasn't sure whether it was him that I missed or just the memories that we shared together because the minute he walked out on me, all I was left with were the memories.

I found it so mind wracking, how the reason for taking the job and rejecting it was the same. I wanted to accept the job because part of me wanted to at least try and get a glimpse of my old friendship with Niall, but another stubborn part didn't want to give in so easily, or at all for that matter. It was bad how I'd let Niall determine my future, even when he didn't mean to. It was as if my whole life was revolving around him when we weren't even friends.