Plain Pain: A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 16

(A/N): I'm trying to update as much as I can before school starts next week. Besides, all the comments I got really motivated me and pushed me to write more ! You guys are really sweet and I can't thank you enough for your support x I hope you like this chapter!

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At a time like this I should have been crying, sobbing or screaming even. I mean, it wasn't everyday that your best friend of ten years ditches you in front of dozens of crew members on reality tv. But I just sat there, staring at the empty seat that Niall once occupied a few minutes ago. It was safe to say that my mind went blank, simply because I just didn't know what to think. I didn't know whether I was supposed to think about how I ruined Niall and I's friendship, or to think about the endless taunting and teasing I'd be getting at school once the episode was aired and how the whole world would watch me humiliate myself. I guess I was also supposed to think about how hard it would be to go to school everyday and have to avoid Niall because honestly, at that moment I realized that any hope of me and Niall being friends again was lost. I also had the trouble of facing my dad afterwards and having him say, 'I told you so.'

I started thinking about how pathetic it was for me to actually, even for a second, think that Niall would feel the same way about me as I felt about him. I felt so naïve.

I heard the noise of heels clacking against the stairs but didn't bother to look behind me. Soon enough,Louise was in sight and taking Niall's seat, giving me a sympathetic look. I didn't want sympathy, and I would've gotten upset with Louise if I didn't know for a fact that she genuinely cared.

I remained silent, motionless, emotionless because my life was officially over. Louise took my silence as a signal to start speaking so she did,

"Rachel, how are you feeling right now?" She asked with a low, calm and collected voice while I remained silent, not answering her question.

"Rachel, I know this hurts. But you really can't complain right now because the minute you decided to walk down those stairs," she pointed at the staircase behind me, "You knew that there was at least a percent of a chance that Niall would reject you, and that's what happened so how are you going to handle this?"  She asked and I didn't utter a word. She waited for a good five minutes before she placed her hands on either side of the chair, gripping the handles tightly, getting ready to stand up, but before she could, I spoke,

"I don't care about..." I paused and she left the handles, letting her body sink further into the chair, "I don't care about Niall right now. I just...I'll never live this down, people will find another reason to tease me once this episode is aired," a tear fell and I didn't bother wiping it as I avoided Louise's eyes and looked at nothing in particular, "I will look like a complete idiot," I paused again and rolled my eyes, "I am a complete idiot for doing this. What was I thinking when I actually thought that Niall might actually feel the same way about me? Was I really that naïve?"

"You took a chance, Rachel. You did something out of your comfort zone and you should be proud of that. Stop beating yourself up about it! You're not the same person that you were two weeks ago. You're much, much stronger than that, and with or without Niall you will remain an amazing young  woman. You don't need someone to complement you; you need to show the world that you are capable of being on your own. Now, I'm not saying that you should avoid people from now on, I'm just asking you not to give someone who's not worth it the chance of thinking they're that essential in your life. You're stronger than that, Ray," Louise put her hand on mine in a comforting way.

What she said really made sense, I didn't sign up for this show for nothing. I gained something and that was self respect. I respected myself enough not to let anything or anyone get to me, and so I wiped my tears as I stood up, with Louise following my movements. She walked slowly toward me and hugged me as I threw my arms back around her.