The morning was quiet. I smoothed out my black dress. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Are you ready?" Wesley asked. I nodded, grabbing my purse. "Erin is outside in the car with Sam." He added. "How is she," I asked. He sighed, "she's putting on a good face for Sam." He said. I nodded. "Here," he said grabbing my M necklace and putting it on me. "I just really miss him." I sighed. "I know you do." He replied.
I sat next to Erin in the car and held her hand. "Am I a horrible person for keeping him from his dad?" She whispered shakily. "No, he was an addict. It's probably better sam never saw him like that." I said comforting her. "Mom it's okay," sam said rubbing her back. "I'm sorry Sam," she said crying. "It's okay mom. You were just trying to protect me." He said. Sam is 8 years old.
Sam stuck with Wesley as I walked in with Erin. She's a mess. "There's his mom," she said covering her mouth. "Erin," his mom said with tears hugging Erin. "I'm sorry," Erin choked out. "It's not your fault," his mom said. "N-no, I have to tell you something." Erin said pulling back. "Hey take a breath." I said rubbing her back. "I never told Chris, I-I was scared," she began rambling. "Told him what?" She asked holding erins hand. "Chris has a son." She finally spat out. His mom froze. "I'm so sorry, I was so scared. He was still bad on the drugs and I couldn't do that to sam," Erin sobbed. Chris's mom hugged her. "Shhh, I'm upset about it but I understand." She cried. "Can I meet him?" She asked wiping her tears, trying to catch her breath. "He's here, where's sam?" She asked me. "He's outside with Wes," I replied.
We walked outside and Vicky, Chris's mom nearly collapsed seeing Sam. "Come here baby," Erin said. Sam quickly went to Erin hiding behind her. "Erin I think this is too much for him," I said. "I just want to see him. He looks just like his daddy." Vicky said. "It's okay sam, this is your grandma." Erin said. He hid his face in Erins leg. I crouched down to Sam. "Come here buddy, it's okay. She wants to meet you then you and Wesley can hang out for the day. Okay?" I said. He nodded. He finally let go of Erin. "Hi," sam said standing in front of Erin. Vicky crouched down. "Hey sam," she said with tears. "Can I hug you?" She asked. He nodded as he embraced her. "I don't mean to scare you," she said squeezing him tight. "You are so handsome," she smiled.
I sat with Erin in the pews are the minister was reciting a passage. Sam stayed outside with Wesley. I held erins hand, she has finally calmed down. But then everything was setting in with me. This could've been Michael. This was almost Michael. "I know he was bad but I loved him." She said to me. "I know. He wasn't a bad person, he just made bad decisions." I said. "I hated that I loved him." She said. "I feel you on that." I sighed. "You and I have been in too many similar situations." She commented. I nodded. "The Only difference is Michael was sorry and tried to change. Chris never did." She said. She was right. Michael hated that part of himself and always aimed to be better.
I walked up to the casket with Erin and his mom Vicky. "My baby," Vicky cried. "He loved you Erin, he-he just didn't know how. I know he wasn't good to you." Vickie said holding onto Erins arm. Erin nodded. "When you see your dad kick his ass for leaving us," Vickie told Chris's body. Erin laughed as did Vickie. "Him and his dad were so close before he passed." Vickie reminiscent. "He talked about his dad a lot when we dated." Erin commented. "I really thought I lost everything. I feel like I did. But then here comes sam. A sweet little Angel." Vicky said smiling. "He's the kindest kid you'll ever meet." Erin said. "I can't wait to get to know him."
We drove home and I could feel this.... feeling. Watching how today went and imagining that was almost me. Im doing everything in my power to stay put together. Wesley and I dropped off Erin and Sam. "Do you want to get some food?" Wesley asked. I shook my head. I kept taking deep breaths, "what's wrong?" He asked concerned. "I-I just need Michael, c-can we go see him?" I asked shakily. "Dre it's too late, his visiting hours are over." He said softly. He pulled into the driveway of my moms house. "I don't care, I need to see him." I said demandingly. "Maybe we can call him," Wes said getting out. I got out, slamming the door, "No Wes! I need to see him! Now!!!" I screamed. My mom came out the front door worried. "Oh no. This is it." I heard her mumble. "I want Michael now. I will drive myself!" I screamed in the front yard. "Okay, let me call your dad. Get him to watch Jay." My mom said. She knew I wasn't taking no for an answer.
