"I don't think it's a bad idea to try the medication one more time. Try something different." My mom said as she drove me home and Riley drove my car. "No. The answer is no. Michael and I Both agreed we didn't want to." I said confident. "Michael is in no shape to help you make this decision." She replied. Tears filled my eyes, "I don't want to be medicated again." I said trying to not cry. "Dre all you do is cry and have anxiety attacks. I don't mean that in a vicious way but you are not okay." She stressed. I didn't reply. "We love you so much and we want to help." She said. "Fine." I said unhappy. I just don't have anymore fight in me. I give up. Medicate me.
When we got home my mom called Dr. Taylor and got Michael on the phone and informed him that I agreed to take medication for my anxiety and possible depression again. He demanded to speak with me. "Hey baby." I said softly. "Are you doing this because you want to or because you feel forced to." He asked unhappy. But it made me happy. He was being my husband that I missed so much. "I don't know. I guess it won't hurt to try a different medication." I said. "How are you feeling?" He asked concerned. "Like a train wreck. I don't want to feel like I did on the last medication but I don't want to feel like this anymore. Its effecting everything. Me, you, us, Jay. Our entire family." I cried. He was silent. "I really fucked us up. I'm so sorry, I wish I could fix this." He said getting upset. "You are fixing this. We're getting through it baby. We're going to be okay. We just need some extra help. These problem are bigger and have gone on longer than your relapse." I said. "I know." He said. "They're kicking me off the phone." He sighed. "I miss you already." I said. "I miss you more baby. I love you more than anything." He said then hanging up.
A couple days past and dr. Taylor wrote me a prescription for my new anxiety meds. I'm so nervous to take them but I need something. I need some type of help.
Ally came over and hung out with me and Jay. "There's my girls! I'll make snacks." My mom said excited. She loves Ally and she always treats us like kids and makes us snacks and movies. "How do you feel?" I asked Ally. "I've finally stopped puking 24/7." She said exhausted. "I hated that with Jay." I replied holding my baby. "I'm excited though. I loved watching you and Michael through your pregnancy. I finally have my dream life. Cam loves Wesley so much. He called him dad yesterday. I cried." "No way!" I gasped. "Wesley cried." She added. "That makes my heart happy. Cam and you deserve this life. You guys had such a rough start." I said. "I know. I finally feel like a can breath a little." She smiled. "Has he called him dad since?" I asked. "He's been calling him dad all day today. Wesley lights up like the Fourth of July every time." She said crying happy tears. "Here's some snacks and Dre here's your meds. Your dad just dropped them off. You take it once a day." She Said handing me a pill. I sighed as I took the pill from her and threw in my mouth swallowing with water. "Meds?" Ally asked. "They think it's best I tried a different anxiety medication." I said. "You were miserable on your last one." She said. "I know but this one is different." I said trying to be positive.
Michaels pov
-2 days later
Im so mad at myself! Why am I like this?! A huge fuck up. I've driven my wife to medicating herself. I pace my room pissed. Upset. "God damnit!!!" I yelled. I needed to hit something! I need to get my anger out. I turned around to the wall and just smashing my fist into it. Over and over again. Finally letting out my anger. Repeatedly punching it. Not caring about the damage. "Michael!" Angel yelled. I didn't stop. Of course the psych unit wasn't far behind her. They grabbed me, throwing me back into my bed, putting restraints on me. I fought and fought. "What is going on?!" Dr. Taylor asked rushing into the room. "He's having another episode." Angel said out of breath. "Let's examine his hand," Taylor sighed. She touched my hand, causing me to flinch. It hurts. "He needs to go to the ER. Call Dre." Taylor said.
"Dres on her way," Angel told us. "What happened?" Angel asked me. I wasn't speaking. I'm angry. "He's not speaking to us. Let him throwing his tantrum." Taylor said holding ice to my hand.
