𝓕𝑜𝑟 𝓨𝑜𝑢 𝓘 𝓦𝑖𝑙𝑙

.....𝒢ℴℴ𝒹𝒷𝓎ℯ 💔 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 20

JACKSON:

"Let's break up, Jackson." those words came out from Jinyoung's mouth. My happiness suddenly changed into confusion. I was frozen for few minutes but it seemed like eternity. 𝐿𝑒𝑡's 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑢𝑝, 𝐽𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑜𝑛. 𝐿𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑢𝑝. 𝐵𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑢𝑝. It kept on playing on my mind. I tried my best to process it but I cant seem to grasp it.

I never felt so many different emotions at the same time for a span of few minutes. Happiness. Confusion. Sadness. Anger. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑚 𝐼 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 to 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡? one minute he was telling me how much I meant to him and then let's break up. What the fuck?

I closed my eyes to calm myself. The last thing I want to do is get mad at him. I don't want to do that. I am really confused. My head just can not comprehend of what is happening right now. 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑚 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝐽𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑜𝑛. I chewed my lower lip to stop me from saying something. I pulled away from Jinyoung and start packing our stuff.

"Jackson, did you hear what I just said?"

I continued to pick up our stuff from the ground. Ignoring whatever Jinyoung is trying to say to me. I need to ignore him for now because I need to calm down. I started to walk towards the parking area. Jinyoung followed me.

"Please say something, Jackson."

I stopped suddenly and turned to Jinyoung, "what do you want from me, babe?" I said in a low voice.

"I-I don't know....j-just say something....or g-get mad at me?"

"what do you want me to say? Do you want me to lash out on you? I can't and I won't because I am not mad at you."

"Why? why are..."

I stopped him from continuing, "Just drop it. I won't say anything until I fully grasp what just happened few minutes ago. No, I will not talk about this with you right now. Let's just go home"

I turned back and started walking to the car. Jinyoung followed silently. The car ride on the way back was a complete opposite from our drive this morning. It was a deafening silence.

I am angry...not at Jinyoung but at myself. I started questioning myself. Did I do something? I racked up by brains on things I did or did not do that might've made Jinyoung say those words.

"Jackson!" Jinyoung screamed as he grabbed the steering wheel. Beep! Beep! as a car from the opposite side passed us by as our car was about to veer on his lane.

"Stop the car, Jackson. I know how you feel right now and you're not in the right mind to continue driving."

We reached a rest area. I parked the car and turned off the engine. I took off my seat belt and stared outside. It was pure silence inside the car until I finally opened my mouth and calmly said,

JS: Is there someone else?

JY: Jackson, no!

JS: Did I do something?

JY: No...no...you're perfect.

JS: then why?

JY: I just think that you deserve someone better.

I closed my eyes again to calm myself. I deserve someone better. I scoffed at what Jinyoung just said to me.

"So I deserve to get my heart get torn into pieces because you think I deserve someone better? I guess whatever I showed you was not enough to convince you how much you meant to me."