Troubling Love

Gone.

She sat on the edge of the rooftop. If she moved any further she'd fall and her life would finally come to an end, but that's what she wanted... right? Depression had been apart of her life for so many years, but this, this was her final straw. She was too tired to fight the battle, she tried, but she'd die trying.

The streets were empty, the street lights flickered on and off, and the building lights were off, darkening the city. The only sounds heard was the wind howling, and sirens from fire trucks being heard throughout the city.

Every reason to die ran through the girls mind. But then her mind asked her, did she really want this?

People always tell you that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. But her light seemed to be death. That was her way out, her escape. That was her only light. The pain that once burned like fire would fade away to an icy numbness. She wouldn't think about who she was hurting, she'd just jump. The despair and suffering of the world that took everyone she loved away so that she'd suffer alone would be gone.

In Addison's life she had given more of herself than what was needed. She loved others with no boundaries, she didn't care if your broke her heart, she still loved you, and that's what broke her. That's what pushed her over the edge. The process of suicide was more gut wrenching than any fiction she's ever read. The mental pain she suffered with wouldn't be gone until she took her last breath, until she left the world that had done nothing but ruin her. If her life were a book the title of this chapter would be 'The Final chapter' because it was indeed her last few moments.

Addison stood on the edge, this is what you want, do it. She closed her eyes, wanting the wind to take her so that she'd freely go. Wanting to fall in peace knowing that she was going to be free. Tears fell from her eyes, she knew she'd leave the world crushing a few hearts that loved her so deeply, and that tortured her. She didn't want to hurt those people, leaving them in sobbing messes because she decided to take the only thing that belonged to her, her life.

Addison opened her eyes, she felt a certain presence behind her. "A-Addison." A small voice croaked out. She knew that voice. She slowly turned around, her hand covering her mouth, tears streaming down her face, as her breathing increased. "Sarah?" Addison asked. Addison looked her in the eyes, never had she seen so much fear and pain in the eyes that she looked in. "Please don't go." Sarah whispered. Her words splinter inside Addison causing more pain than what she's going to do. Addison shook her head, more tears began to fall, "How did you even find me?" She asked. Sarah lifted her phone, showing the screen to Addison, "We always had each other's location, remember, we promised that if one of us was in danger we'd keep our locations on to keep us safe." When Addison felt like her heart couldn't take any more pain, another shadow came out of the darkness, Stefani. Addison broke down into sobs, not moving from the ledge. "Addison, baby, don't do this. Your stronger than this and you know it, we will help you heal this wound that seems like it won't close. I know your tired, trust me, I've been there. People had to watch me in my own home so I didn't take a bottle of pills and overdose. But please, please don't jump." Stefani whispered, tears falling onto her face. Sarah cautiously stepped forward, reaching her hand out for Addison to grab. Addie, hesitantly grabbed the the girls hand, she pulled it up to her lips and kissed it gently. Addison weakly smiled at the two, "I love you." She whispered to both girls. "But this is my decision." She sobbed, letting Sarahs hand go for the last time. Addison allowed death to consume her as she fell 30 stories, not thinking about if she stayed. She fell, and in that moment she closed her eyes tightly, waiting for death to wash over her. This was it. Sarah screamed, her voice roaring into the empty city. Stefani ran to her, holding her daughter back. Sarah fought and fought, trying to escape Stefani's tight grasp. She screamed and cried, tears didn't stop falling. "No, no, no." She whispered to herself. Stefani felt her heart painfully sink, her heart ached as she pulled her daughter away from the edge.

Addison jumped, she was gone.

Stefani's mind continued to deny that this was real. Praying in her mind that she'd wake up, but she didn't. Sarah mumbled things to herself, though her sobs made it hard to understand. Police had busted open the door that lead to the rooftop, but before they could start shouting orders they saw both girls in sobbing messes. Their faces softened, some walked over to the girls and others walked over to the edge. A cop brought his walkie-talkie up to his mouth, "We've got a deceased female on 97th street." The man whispered. Sarah sank to her knees, not caring that her jeans were now wet because of the puddle beneath her, she screamed in pain as those words left his mouth. Her mind flooded her with guilt, she could've saved her, she should've pulled her down. Stefani had sat next to her daughter, weakly pulling the girls fragile body into hers, she rocked the girl back and forward. "Why, why did she do that?" Sarah asked. Stefani shook her head, "She was tired baby. Her mind was too tired to fight, she thought it was her only way out." Stefani croaked out. Sarah had never felt so much pain, the pain had blocked out any other feeling she previously felt. One day Sarah will grieve for Addison, but first she would have to accept that Addison is really gone and she wasn't sure if she would ever be ready for that. There's a part of her the will never believe Addison won't come out of some corner, laughing that Sarah fell for this elaborate joke. The heaviness was in her limbs as much as her mind. Things she her and Addison used to find funny would only cause a deep sense of pain. Sarah cried until she wasn't able to anymore.

Her Addie was gone.

Stefani held the girl close, not wanting to let her go, fearing that she'd lose her too. Stefani closed her eyes, the breeze that ran unchecked moved her long blonde hair out of her face, bringing color to her pale cheeks. She had never dared to imagine the fear of losing a child but now she knew exactly how it felt. She remembered sitting with parents of kids who committed suicides, and those kids were little monsters, and every time she would say "I can't imagine what you are going through" but now she did. She understood the heavy pain it brought to their hearts, the numbness it brought to their minds. She shares every bit of pain that those parents do. She lost one of the people she cherished the most.

How do you live after that?

Stefani pulled herself up, her whole body hung limp like each limb weighed twice as much as it had before and just moving it about was a slow, painful effort. She reached for Sarahs hand, just like Sarah did to Addison. Sarah grasped the hand tightly, pulling herself up. The cops showed great pity for both woman. Remembering how they had children of their own, not being able to imagine how painful it would be to lose them, just like Stefani once did.

The world had gone cold, because of the plague that had visited, death.

When Addison jumped her fragile, human heart beat finally beat for the last time.

Thud, thud, thud.

Gone.