Troubling Love

Got a secret, can you keep it?

Sarah felt lips pressed against her forehead as she began to wake. A soft hand carefully ran up and down her back. "Princess. Princess wake up." A gentle voice sang. Sarah's eyes opened, she could sense a strong rose scent in her presence. She immediately knew it was her mother. The girl groaned, placing her head on her mother's chest as she attempted to drift back to sleep, "No." She whined. Stefani chuckled, she gently wrapped her arms around the girls torso, "Baby, you've got to eat something." Hearing those words made Sarah want too sleep even longer. "Mm, I don't think so." She said with a raspy voice. Stefani caressed the girls hair, "You've got to eat baby. Even if it's just a small fruit, you need something." The blonde tucked a strand of hair behind her daughters ear. "I want too sleep." The girl slightly whined. Stefani sighed, trying to figure out what to say next, "If you eat a tiny bit you can go back to sleep." Stefani bribed her daughter. Sarah shook her head, declining the offer. "What about just an apple? It doesn't have any fat or carbs. It's a healthy fruit." Stefani said, remaining calm. Sarah's mind was fixed on the fact that eating was horrible, but she didn't want to fight her mother, "Fine." She said, reluctantly giving in. Stefani smiled, clearly happy with the girl, "Thank you." She said. Sarah gave the woman a slight smile in return. "You've got to let me get up so I can get you an apple though." The blonde laughed. Sarah pouted her lips, "I don't think so." Her mother playfully rolled her eyes, "Hey Ellie baby, can you grab that apple right there." Stefani asked her oldest daughter. Elle looked up from her phone, nodding at the simple task, "Sure." She accepted. The girl stood up and grabbed the apple that laid on a napkin next to a large brown paper bag. She walked over to the hospital bed, placing the fruit in her mother's hands. "Thank you sweet pea." Stefani thanked her daughter. "No problem." Elle responded smiled, turning back on her heel to go sit down on the couch.

Stefani looked down at her daughter, she smiled at the way her daughter snuggled into her. "C'mon baby, let's try and eat this apple." Sarah heavily sighed still not onboard with the idea. Stefani attempted to hand the girl the apple but Sarah wouldn't take it. The woman brought the apple to her daughters sealed lips. "Just take a small bite, it's okay if it takes you a while to finish the apple, just be patient with yourself." Stefani softly spoke. Sarah couldn't make eye contact with her mother, she felt an overwhelming amount of guilt as she tried to get herself to take a small bite bite of the apple. She forcefully took a small bite of the fruit, slowly chewing it and painfully swallowing it.

She hated what she had become.

The worst pain is knowing that eating is now no longer a joyful thing. Sarah felt as if she was about to cry. She wished that her life hadn't come to this point, but somehow, it did. "Good job baby." Stefani cooed kissing her daughters cheek. "I don't want to go that again." Sarah said, shaking her head. "I know it's tough my love, but I promise you that your body won't hate you for it. You need to give your body the nutrients that it needs." Stefani softly whispered. Sarah took a deep breath before slowly taking another bite, trying her hardest to chew as quickly as possible so she wouldn't think about it to much. But she felt as if she was practically opting to eat poison.

Food was poison.

As each bite was taken Stefani continued to whisper sweet affirmations to her daughter, attempting to encourage her. As Sarah took the last bite of the apple, swallowing the small piece she let out a sigh of relief. Stefani disposed of the core, smiling brightly as she showered her daughter with kisses, clearly proud of the girls bravery, "You did it princess! You finished the apple. I'm so proud of you baby." Stefani cooed, pulling the girl towards her, allowing Sarah to hide her face in her mothers chest. The teenager shook her head, "It's too hard mama. I can't, I can't do that again." She cried. Stefani soothed her daughter immediately, "Shh, baby don't cry, it's okay, I'm here." She cradled the girl in her arms. "You know it's so hard to do things like that. Especially when you haven't eaten for so long. But baby, you did it. You found the courage to eat even though it seems like the worst thing ever. I promise that one day you'll be able to eat again and learn to love your body." Stefani told her daughter. "I can't do it without you." Sarah whispered. The blondes heart ached from those words alone, "No baby you won't have too. I'm right here." Stefani said, barely above a whisper. "I'm scared I'm going to wake up and your not going to be here and I'm going to have to do this alone." The teenager shamefully admitted. Stefani sat up on the bed, situating herself as she laid side ways, placing her head on Sarah's shoulder, gently wrapping her arms around the girl. "Your here baby. This isn't a dream, I promise. Your not going to wake up alone. I'm right here with you." Stefani attempted to convince her daughter. "Michael's going to come home tomorrow." Sarah warned her mother. "Don't worry about that, okay? You just focus on healing right now. I don't want you to stress over this." The mother told her youngest daughter. "He'll call us to check up on us." Said Sarah. "It's okay, I'll handle it." Stefani calmed her daughters nerves. "Okay." Sarah simply replied.