For Real This Time

Chapter One

Blaine Anderson's face had heartbroken written all over it when he walked into the Lima Bean one Thursday afternoon. His eyes looked bloodshot, as if he hadn't slept in a week. The gel in his hair was applied sloppily at best, with random curls all over his head. He wore no bowtie; he didn't feel up to it. Instead he wore jeans and a comfortable sweater. Fall in Lima was coming to an end and the air was starting to chill, so he wore a scarf around his neck.

Feeling so out of place in the coffee shop he used to frequent, the place Kurt used to work, Blaine transitioned to autopilot as he ordered himself a medium drip. Memories of Kurt's confession of his crush in this very line brought Blaine back to two years earlier where he stood pining over Jeremiah while Kurt was forced to listen. Blaine decided to stay out of sight, worried he might run into someone he knew if he sat toward the front of the café like he normally did. Instead, he took a seat in the back near the corner. He tried to take his focus off of Kurt by scrolling through Facebook on his phone, but that rarely worked anymore. He got out his laptop and decided to start working on a paper due at the end of the week, hoping to at least channel his pain in a productive manner.

20 minutes into his English paper, Blaine's thoughts were interrupted by a striking taller boy leaning over his table as he pulled out a chair. "Hey, Killer. Mind if I join you?" Sebastian asked the question after he had already sat down, so Blaine didn't see the point in trying to protest.

"I'm doing homework," Blaine explained, not really wanting to deny him a seat but feeling the need to make it known that he wasn't particularly interested in talking.

Sebastian looked a little taken aback at Blaine's tone. Blaine didn't even notice how harsh and uninviting he sounded. Of course, he didn't mean to hurt Sebastian's feelings, if he had any, but he just wasn't in the mood for Sebastian's obsessive flirting. "Did we not used to sit here and work on homework together all the time?"

Blaine's guilt at the thought consumed him. Over the summer, he barely spoke to Sebastian because he wanted to spend every moment enjoying his time with Kurt rather than making Kurt angry. No matter how many times Blaine denied having feelings for Sebastian, Kurt never believed him. Blaine finally produced a mumbled, "I'm sorry."

All of Sebastian's efforts focused on Blaine who still didn't look at him. Maybe he was just focused on whatever essay he was trying to write. Or maybe it was something else entirely. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Sebastian asked, hoping he could get something more out of Blaine.

"With you? No," Blaine said defensively, hoping Sebastian would drop it. He didn't mean for his tone to sound so cross, but he couldn't help it. Sebastian was the first person he'd spoken to other than Sam and Finn in two weeks.

Despite Blaine's efforts to close himself off from Sebastian's affections, the Warbler always liked a challenge. "Come on, we used to talk about basically everything. How about drinks on me tomorrow night?"

Blaine couldn't bring himself to throw another insult Sebastian's way. He tried his best to stop his frustration over Kurt from getting in the way of the other relationships in his life, but it was nearly impossible. Every time Blaine felt close to someone else, he felt guilty, as if he didn't deserve anyone at all because he would just hurt them, just like he hurt Kurt. "I don't know if I'm up for it, Sebastian."

The one thing Sebastian disliked more than Kurt was Blaine's rejection. Although Blaine never confirmed the breakup, Sebastian heard about it through rumors at Dalton and noticed Blaine's relationship status on Facebook switch to Single. He used to check every day, hopelessly wishing Baine would realize how Kurt treated him and that he could do better. Blaine unfriended Sebastian over the summer, so it made stalking him on social media a bit more difficult. He figured it was Kurt's doing, but didn't think now was the proper time to bring up something like that. "I think you need it. Once you're there with a couple beers in your system, you won't remember why you didn't want to come."