My eyes fluttered open as a bright light shone through the window. I rolled over, seeing Harry smirking at me. "Good morning," he murmured, sweeping my hair out of my eyes. My head was killing me, and I struggled to remember what happened the night before, but one thing was certain, Harry and I had shared a kiss. "How are you?" I smiled at him, he looked so happy laying in my bed shirtless.
"Tired," I mumbled, hiding my face in the pillow. Harry laughed, tickling me so that I would face him again.
"Do you regret last night?" he asked, fear evident in his soft green eyes. I thought about it for a second. Did I regret it? Obviously, I wasn't expecting to kiss him, and it took me by surprise, but it felt right. I shook my head, and I saw the relief on his face. "Would you like to do something today?" he questioned.
"Sure," I shrugged, "what are you thinking?" He grinned at me and stood up, leaving the bed to feel empty in his absence.
"it's a surprise!" he called out as he left the room.
Harry had driven me to a cliff that overlooked the sea. The sun was shining so brightly, and the sky was so clear you could see for miles. He laid out the blanket he had packed and unloaded the picnic, sitting down and gesturing for me to join him. We tucked into the food, enjoying the delicious strawberries that he was adamant he had to bring. "I know much you love them!" he pouted as I laughed at his childish behaviour. We sat there for hours, talking about everything that happened in the last few weeks. It felt good to come clean to Harry, I didn't realise how much I needed to clear the air between us. I told him about Eleanor and how I finally had the closure, meaning I could begin to admit my feelings for Harry. We had decided that we wouldn't tell anyone about the kiss for a while, we had some things to sort out between ourselves first. "How are you feeling about the kiss?" he asked, pouring me a drink of lemonade.
"I enjoyed it, honestly," I said, taking the plastic cup from him. "I'm just very confused. I've never had these feelings for another guy before and it took me some time to allow myself to feel them. But kissing you was special, it felt so normal. It felt right. I'm scared, Haz, I really am, but I know that with you by my side I can accomplish anything. I'm just not ready to have to admit it to anyone else yet, I'm sorry." Harry shuffled over to me, placing my cup on the floor and pulling me in for a hug. We led down, resting my head on his chest, as he gently stroked my hair.
"Take all the time you need, Lou," he whispered, placing a soft kiss into my hair. We stayed there until the sun was setting. I sat up and grabbed my phone, pulling Harry up and standing next to him. He put his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. We both smiled at the camera, and for the first time in weeks I felt that things were going to be okay.
Harry and I had agreed not to tell anyone yet, but we were dating. My summer holiday was coming to an end and Harry was about to start his new physiotherapy job, but I was excited for our next adventure to start together. He had moved back in which made it easier to hide our relationship from the boys. We could be a couple when no one was around, but just friends whenever we were with them. Every now and then we'd sneak little kisses in when the boys were in the other room, but we tried to be as careful as we could. He was so understanding that I wasn't ready yet, and honestly, I didn't know if I ever would be. My feelings for Harry were growing every day, but I wasn't ready to label them yet. We had decided to have Niall, Liam and Zayn around for dinner the night before the new school year started. Harry and I were cooking together in the kitchen, stealing little kisses when no one was watching. Harry was a better cook than I was but cooking with him was fun. He was a great cook, telling me exactly what to do. I decided he could do the cooking at home from now on. He looked hot as he raced around the kitchen making sure everything was ready. He was wearing a bright pink apron that his mum had bought him for Christmas one year, and even I had to admit it suited him. He caught me staring at him, smirking in my direction. "Do you want some of this?" he asked, running his hands down his body. I bit my lip, trying to supress the growing urge in me to lunge forward and kiss him hard. I nodded slowly as he started walking towards me. I reached up to pull his head towards mine, but suddenly the kitchen door burst open and I jumped away from Harry, knocking a stool over in the process. Niall narrowed his eyes, his gaze flicking between the two of us.
"What's going on in here?" he asked, his eyes settling on me. I could feel my cheeks turning red, so I mumbled something about him making me jump and managed to get out of the room, running upstairs and locking myself in the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket. 'Are you okay?' Harry text. I sighed, splashing some water on my face before returning to the boys. They were just about to sit down at the table, and I joined them, sitting as far away from Harry as I could. He looked over at me, sadness and confusion in his eyes. I mouthed 'sorry' at him, turning my attention to the other boys. We talked about our summers and everything that had happened and discussed our plans for the autumn season. I noticed Harry kept looking over at me, but I tried to ignore him. Almost getting caught by Niall had thrown me, and I didn't want any of the boys to find out about us, and I knew I had to distance myself from Harry when the boys were about.
This continued for a month. Every time Harry and I were alone we were very close, kissing whenever we could and enjoying each other's company, but as soon as someone else was with us I'd withdraw, distancing myself from Harry and trying to erase any suspicions the boys may have. I wasn't embarrassed to be with Harry, I was happy. I just didn't want to face the criticism of anyone else and I didn't want to accept that I was dating him. We were taking thigs slow as I worked on accepting myself with Doctor Murphy. His sessions were helpful, and Harry was incredibly supportive, but whenever I distanced myself from him the moment someone arrived, I could tell it hurt him. I knew he wanted to be open with the world, but I couldn't be that person. I had to continue hiding.
How do you think Harry is feeling right now? Do you think things will work themselves out or will this drive a wedge between them? Comment your thoughts!
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Unexpected Love
FanficCan Louis accept who he really is? With the help of his closest friends and family, maybe he can.
