After -Drarry COMPLETE

Chapter 42

—Draco POV—

"Are you absolutely insane?!" I exclaimed, seemingly snapping him out of a daze.

"What do you mean?" He asked numbly. I scoffed.

"Harry, really?! Taking care of an unborn child, when you couldn't even watch over a ten-year old?" He stood there quietly, showing no change in outward expression.

"Harry, You cannot meet the needs and demands of an infant when you struggle to even meet your own..." I said, slightly less frustrated, but still just as baffled at him.

"I- I don't..." his voice trailed, and he had a far-off gaze.

"Don't what? Why are you doing this to yourself?" I moved my hands up to rub my temples in frustration. Of all of the things he could have responded with...

"You do realize we had to turn over custody of Teddy to his grandmother because you had proven time and time again that your mental health had been long abandoned, right?" I looked up at the man standing across from me. His only response was that of absolute silence. "Harry respond, please."

It seemed he didn't hear me, because he still hadn't spoken.

"Harry." I said, trying to get his attention. "You cannot take responsibility for this."

After a moment, he spoke.

"I need to. She wouldn't be in this situation if the two of us were just... happily living, as a family, in America, like we were meant to be." His tone of voice indicated that he was lost, or at least that's what it looked like. My expression softened slightly. He continued to speak.

"I- This is my problem that I need to fix... I need to be there for her. For her child-"

"You cannot possibly blame yourself for something like this. There are rubbish fools raping women all the time." I paused, realizing that my statement was a bit insensitive.

"It's unfortunate... that Ginny was one of them. But that's not your fault. You did not rape her, and you did not send that git to do it either. This isn't your child, and you can't be taking care of one anyway. Besides, Ginny is carrying the unborn. You should ask her what she prefers before going off making stupid and ridiculous proclamations." By the time I'd finished my small rant, I was slightly out of breath. Harry seemed to have fallen back into silence.

"Please. Go talk to Ginny about this."

"Draco you don't understand. I need to help her-"

"No. You need to help yourself. You are not in the state to be helping anyone else. Not me, not Ginny, not her brothers, or her parents, or Hermione. You need to lookout for yourself for once." I stared at him in the eyes with a pleading expression. I was breathing heavily from my small fit of passion, but I stood firm in what I'd said.

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—Harry POV—

"Harry, I think Malfoy is right." Said Ginny, I looked at her in shock.

"I want the help. And I appreciate it. But you can't be going out of your way for something that you can't handle. I have Ron, Hermione, and everyone else in the family. I'll go to counseling to get past what happened... We don't need you to save the world anymore, Harry."

Is this really what it is? Just me jumping at the first chance to help someone other than myself?

"Ginny, this is about you. About the child-"

"And you are recovering from your own things..." she swallowed thickly. "I won't let you take any larger of a role than you need to. You can be there, I'm not leaving you out. I could never... but you are not taking the role of a parent again. Not right now. Besides, you really don't need to."

"Gin... why didn't you tell us when it happened?"

"I was scared. I didn't know I'd end up like this, the healers told me he didn't pass anything on to me. I thought I could just... get through it." I noticed her scratching her arm, and I understood.

"Don't do that." I said softly. "Don't... it doesn't help..." I said, head hung low in shame. I'm such a hypocrite. Telling her not to do something while the arms under my own sleeves are littered with marks.

I swallowed the sour taste that had formed in my mouth, and reached out to take her arm gently. She flinched slightly, but let me take it. I rolled up her sleeve, seeing nothing more than her anxious nail marks on a red, raw patch of skin.

"It doesn't help." I whispered, holding back tears. It's all worse when you're the one looking at someone else's marks. I took a deep breath.

"He held me there... by the arms. I couldn't move them..." she took her arm back, putting the sleeve in its place. It was as if speaking of the memory made her feel it all over again.

I understood that.

"Please see someone... you can't do stuff like this. Especially not with the baby." I looked at her in the eyes.

"Promise you won't turn out like me because of this..."

"I'll see someone. Don't worry. I don't think it's quite possible to turn out like you... You have decades of trauma... for me it was just one night..." She looked around, obviously uncomfortable by the topic. Things were silent for a second before I responded.

"That doesn't make it any better or worse..." I replied. "That doesn't make it any more or less likely..."

I wiped my eyes, standing up with a sniffle.

"I'm leaving now. You don't hesitate to call me..."

"I won't." I heard her say. After one last look into my eyes, I went downstairs, and left with Draco and Scorpius.

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When we got to the house, Draco had said something, but I ignored it. I needed silence to engulf me. I needed to feel the swelling in my chest.

I walked away- upstairs, into the guest room- closing the door behind me. I shut my eyes tight, taking in a deep breath. The exhale, however, came out as a soundless sob. I shook.

I could feel everything. From today, all the way through my first year at Hogwarts. It sent shivers across my being.

Every breath was painful, and I lay on the bed, gaping like a fish while I cried helplessly. I hated the wave of uncomfortable warmth that always accompanied this. It always made me feel like if I touched my face I'd burn.

I only heard the door open. I knew who it was though. Who else would it be? But my mind couldn't preoccupy itself with who was at the door. It was too busy sending jolts of pain everywhere. Too busy making sure my body convulsed with every sob. Too busy making sure I could feel every last ounce of pain and sorrow coursing through my veins.

Every exhale pained my chest, and every inhale scratched at my throat. I felt familiar strong hands wrapping around me.

"What's wrong?" he asked. However, I could only shake my head. I don't want to talk, I don't want to hear him talk. I hugged him back, taking to allowing tears to soak through his shirt, instead of my pillow case. You could see and feel my trembling, I couldn't even properly hug him back for a second, because of it.

I just need to feel everything. No words, no thoughts.