After -Drarry COMPLETE

Chapter 46

—Harry POV—

I closed my eyes and focused on my surroundings. I need to tell him.

After a few minutes I was able to recompose myself. Now, I was sat on the bed, trying to figure out how I would bring it up. A knock came at the door.

"Harry, are you alright?" I heard from beyond the door. I need to tell him. After a second of hesitation, I opened the door. "Is everything alright?" Draco asked with a soft smile. "I..." I had started to explain. What if I'm bothering him? The doubt started coming back. What would I even say?

"Harry?" Draco asked with a concerned expression, his smile slightly faded. I took in his features, shoving my previous thoughts to the back of my mind.

In a moment of bravery, I looked up and moved forward, his face inching ever closer to mine. I kept my arms stiffly at my side.

"Harry..." he breathed.

Without hesitation, I leaned forward to kiss him. After a few feather-light kisses, Draco wrapped his arms around my neck. The kiss deepened, and I tried to close any distance left between us.

Draco's hands moved down, and I felt him trying to bring my arms out from my sides to wrap around his waist, but I kept them at my sides regardless of Draco's subtle attempts, not wanting him to feel my new scars there. I deepened our kiss, and, to my dismay, he broke it.

"Harry... what's wrong?"

"Nothing... why did you-"

"You wouldn't let me take your arms...you wouldn't hug me. You always hug me." He said with a confused and stern expression. I stayed silent.

He glanced down at my arms, then back at me. I could see he was thinking. I felt uncomfortable under his analytical gaze.

"Harry, can I see your ar-"

"I need to talk to you about something." I blurted out. "You have to promise you won't be mad though." I felt myself trembling, but I kept my eyes firm with his, ignoring my pounding heart, my shaking body, and my slightly watery eyes.

"Oka-"

"You also have to understand... I..." I tried to think about what I was saying. "I don't know why... and, I don't really want to tell you what it's about."

"What is it?" He said firmly with worry lacing his tone.

I took a breath out and sat down before turning my arms so he could see. I took a sharp breath in, nervous for his reaction.

He sat down, not removing his sights from what I'd done, and he reached out to hold my wrists. I flinched slightly, my breathing labored.

"...when did you..."

"Last night." I confessed, cursing at my wavering voice. He looked up at me, but I still kept my head down, trained on the deepest cut I'd made. He brought my chin up, and at that moment I'd never been so terrified of getting lost in his vivid grey eyes.

"Look at me, please." He said softly, bringing his hand back down. His next question was a whisper.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

I took a deep breath, tearing my eyes away from his, my chest felt as if it was weighing down on me as it did this morning.

I replied as quietly as him. "I didn't want to bother you. You've been losing sleep because of me anyway. I didn't think I would do it though."

I took a deep breath in, trying to stop the wetness in my eyes from leaving. I felt ashamed and horrible for what I'd done to Draco.

I took another sharp breath, but it caught in my throat.

"I don't want to keep bothering you." I whispered, closing my eyes and hugging myself.

"Come here." He said softly, scooting next to me. I sniffled, still hopeful that I could hold back tears. He enveloped me into a hug, I leaned into him.

"You can cry, you know." He said into my ear.

"I'm tired of crying." I said as tears finally fell. "I'm tired of reliving my childhood."

"It's okay... I'm here. Don't worry. We'll get through this with time."

I sniffled again, removing my glasses so I could wipe my eyes. I set them down on the night stand. Before leading the both of us to lay down. I hugged him, burying my face into his chest.

"Harry. Please talk to me. Tell me what made you do this." I only hugged him tighter, trying to stop my shaking.

"Harry, I've been letting you keep to yourself, but now I need you to tell me. Don't worry about how I'll react." I cried harder, knowing he's right and not wanting to admit it. I also don't want to talk about it, knowing it will allow the thoughts to stay fresh in my mind.

"Please. It will help me know how to help you." He said. He then stopped our hug, making deliberate space between us. I felt a rush of cool fresh air and took a deep breath.

"You won't be able to breathe if you keep your face pressed up against me." I scooted up so our faces were level. He began sweeping my hair out of my face, and then he placed a soft kiss on my nose, before wiping the streaks of tears from my face.

"What woke you? Was it a nightmare?" He asked gently. I nodded.

"What was it about?" He coaxed.

"Something you don't know about." I said sorrowfully.

"Then tell me about it."

"It's just, family stuff."

"Not to be blunt, but your immediate family is dead."

"No, not them. it's..." I took a breath.

"My aunt and uncle... and my cousin."

"The Muggles? What about them?" He asked.

"It's just, stuff that I've been remembering from when I lived with them." I said, not wanting to go into more detail.

"Well, if it was so bad that it makes you wake up and go hurt yourself then I think you need to elaborate on that."

"When I talk about it I start remembering more. I hadn't had trouble because of them for a long time, then I accidentally told you that they... ignored... me. And I started remembering. And then that letter came and now I just-"

"The letter you got yesterday was from your Muggle relatives?" I tensed, before nodding in agreement.

"What did it say?" I noticed his tone was becoming more stern and protective.

"It... it's nothing really-"

"Well, 'nothing' seems to be affecting you. Where is it. I want to read your owl."

"It's not an owl-"

"Whatever. Your Muggle mail. Show it to me."