It's been three days and three hours, I took no bath, I am a mess right now sitting on the cold floor, numb.No tears, no bitterness, no pain, I still can't breathe and my chest hurts so much as it rises and falls, my hair is so messy, strains of hair flying in every direction, I hardly ate anything in three days, I skipped school and my phone has been switched off, I have heard so many banging of the door but I didn't want to speak to anyone and I shut myself completely away from the world, I tried to move but my limbs hurt so much for sitting for quite a lot of hours, the wound under my feet has become worse since I hadn't treated it for three days, I hold the bed stand in an attempt to stand but I fell to the floor feeling hurt and tired, I finally switch on my phone and the messages and voice notes came in bombarding the screen I picked it up and smash it to the wall, walking to the closet I bring out a suitcase and roughly pack as many dresses and shoes I could pack, I move to my dad's room and go through his belongings for the house and property papers I find them easily and write a "House For Sale" on a plain paper, I move to the washroom and wash down to refresh myself,dressing up in a overall with a hood, I pick up my belongings and drag the suitcase downstairs, I peep out to make sure there is no one around the walkway and without looking back I make my way to the bus stop heading to the next town ahead for a motel where I would spend the night before making other arrangements, my mind feels empty and I can't think of a thing to do and it's driving me insane.
I look up at the clouds which is now covered with a black blanket,there is no moon, no stars,everything is pitch black and I just stare from through the back door of the motel room,
Is there really a meaning to life, when the people you love aren't by your side, in a world you can't trust anyone or look up to,it's hard to live,it's hard to breath sometimes, I feel like a bird who's wings are clipped and that I can't spread them wide and fly in the sky,what's left for me anyway,there is just me alone in this world,just me, when I was barely able to find myself,you left, you all left , dad, mom, why did you leave, and now I am left alone, how then do I find missing self,from where do I start, where there are no stars there is nothing beautiful to watch in a dark sky...
The birds were chirping loudly and a cold breeze swept over my body, I opened my eyes a bit and I could see the sun shyly peeping out of the clouds, I sniffed in the smell of the atmosphere I loved it especially when it held the smell of earth when about to rain but now it looked as if the the cloud is contemplating whether to let the sun or help itself of the weight of rain it held, I smile at how nature formed its own beauty, I roll into the inner room and stand from the floor dusting off my sleep wear, nature has a way of making you feel good, I hum to the washroom and freshen up before heading towards the reception to check out before anyone comes to find me,
"what Am I running from ?", I ask myself shaking my head and head towards the receptionist who looks so bored on a bright early morning like this.
"Good day ma'am", I greet meeting her gaze.
"checking out??",she enquire with no emotion written on her face, she wasn't smiling or frowning either, I look down at her white shirt with a scarf tied around her neck its obvious its a uniform just at a first glance before replying her,
"Yep",
just when I replied the sound of the television filled the place and everyone brought their attention to it, it is the early morning news and the news caster kept rambling about a missing person, I tap on the table of the receptionist bringing her back to life muttering her apologies as she filled in the check out book,
"Name please", she asked
"Jane Thompson "
"Jane Thompson".
Just as I mentioned my name,at that same moment it beamed out of the television set so loud and thick that I felt my heart fall to the ground,
"Jane Thompson is reported missing,She resides at Velta flats streets number 124,an awesome reward goes to whoever finds her"
I turn around and see my picture boldly spread on the screen, I sprint out of the motel leaving my belongings quickly going for a bus to nowhere in particular, I need to disguise myself as soon as possible,jumping off from the bus,I run straight to the barbering shop to cut my long hair into a short one and dye it to a gold color, I come out looking completely different and step unto the street wondering what my next moves would be, I hear my stomach growl for food and at that moment the smell of fried chicken fills my nostril that I could hardly take it, I had no penny on me but it doesn't mean I would die of hunger right?,I walk into the mini restaurant and order for food, I look through the menu and smile cheekily, I order for vegetable rice with sauce and grilled chicken rubbing my hands in anticipation,
I quickly dig into the food as I haven't eaten properly for the past few days,soon I empty the plate and wash it down with a drink, I looked to my left and then to my right and tried sneaking out hoping I won't be caught.
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Losing my real self
Novela JuvenilIt's hard becoming who you really are,when you hold on to your past,afraid of making mistakes,until you find yourself you keep sinking low into someone you aren't meant to be.(UNEDITED)
