Magical Mischief: Year One

vii. Wash Your Hair, You Greasy Slimeball

The topic of Remus' ill family member served as the main thread of speculation around the Gryffindors that day.

"I heard it was Spattergroit," Frank Longbottom said at breakfast.

"Oh please, there hasn't been a case in years," came the voice of Lily Evans who had paused her conversation with Alice Fortescue and Marlene McKinnon to tell him off. James saw Alice lightly smack Lily's hand, telling her to be nice.

"Hasn't anyone told you it's rude to gossip, Evans?" James smirked as Lily shot him her icy glare before turning back to her friends.

"Still planning on wooing her, James?" Sirius asked, chuckling.

"Of course I am," he grinned.

"That might have to be put on hiatus," Sirius waggled his eyebrows. "I believe we have some revenge to seek on a certain evil snake boy."

James rubbed his hands together. "Indeed we do, my good friend."

James' cheek had healed quickly after he had stopped drinking so much water, and he was finally ready to get some good natured revenge on Snape.

The three boys spent the day poring over textbooks in the library, trying to find the means to be successful in their plan.

"Remus would be proud of us," Sirius quipped. "He's constantly on our necks about homework. If only he could see us now, reading and studying."

"I think I've found it!" exclaimed James, looking up from an advanced charms textbook. He showed it to Sirius and Peter, the former whooping in delight as the latter wrinkled his nose.

"Are you sure you can pull that off?" asked Peter.

"How hard can it be?"

*\

Monday rolled around and James, Sirius and Peter waited eagerly for the chance to put their plan to action. The moment came after Potions class which was their last class of the day. The hallways were filled with a sea of students who parted fearfully for Snape as he walked, flanked by two burly Slytherins.

"That's Mulciber and Avery," Sirius hissed to James, a look of disgust on his face. "They're the most crude oafs I've ever met."

The three young Gryffindors were hiding behind a large statue, observing the scene before them. Snape, Mulciber and Avery strode through the halls and no one wanted to get in their way. No one except for Sirius, who stepped out into the middle of the corridor, blocking the path of the three Slytherins.

"Move," Snape snarled.

Sirius smirked and raised an eyebrow. "No, I think I'm good where I am."

Snape growled and glanced around. Satisfied that there were no teachers around, he pulled out his wand, his cronies following suit. "Move," he repeated.

James watched as Sirius reached into the pocket of his robes and slowly pulled out a bottle of shampoo. Laughs echoed through the halls, and Snape's expression turned livid.

James turned to Peter from where they still stood behind the statue. He and Peter were both balancing a combined fifteen bottles of shampoo in their arms. James carefully pulled his wand out. "Fullonum Locomotor!"

Snape looked up in alarm as the bottles rocketed towards him. He tried batting them away, but they just danced right back.

"Sonorus," Sirius called into his wand. "Messrs Potter, Black and Pettigrew extend their greetings to Mr. Snape and advise him to wash his abnormally greasy hair before we all slip on the slime trail he leaves behind!"

Snape looked furious as the onlookers laughed, but he remained helpless as the shampoo bottles pestered him from all sides. "Get them!" he yelled.

"Levicorpus!" Mulciber bellowed and Sirius was wrenched into the air by his ankle.

James ran out from behind the statue, pointing his wand at Avery who flew backwards with a loud bang. For a moment he seemed unharmed, but he suddenly opened his mouth and a very large slug popped out.

Even though he was upside down, Sirius managed to get Mulciber. "Furnunculus!" he shouted. Mulciber was blasted back, causing his spell on Sirius to break. Sirius dropped to the ground as angry red boils appeared on Mulciber's face.

Mulciber stood up, his face still covered in boils and pointed his wand at Peter who had his wand pointed right back.

"Locomotor Wibbly!" Peter cried as Mulciber yelled "Densaugeo!" The two of them were blasted back, Peter growing abnormally long front teeth while Mulciber attempted and failed to stand up due to the Jelly-Legs Jinx.

Snape had managed to free himself from the bottles of shampoo and he glanced around angrily at his fallen comrades.

"This one's mine, Sirius," James smirked as he circled Snape.

"Come for a rematch, Potter?" Snape sneered.

"Rematch?" James scoffed. "Wasn't much of a first fight, unless you count ambushing me and nearly taking out Lily in the process."

"I never would've harmed her," he said darkly.

"Well you almost did. And then you sent her to apologize for you."

Snape laughed bitterly. "I never apologized."

"Then she is simply a far more admirable person than you."

They both cast their spells at the same time. James didn't know what Snape had cast, he only knew that it missed because he had dropped to the ground before casting his own Bat Bogey Hex. Snape cried out in anger as wings sprouted from his nostrils.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang. McGonagall stood at the end of the corridor looking profoundly unamused.