The Un-landed Everything

Chapter 13

I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to see her lifeless body. It would be too hard, and painful, and depressing. I just couldn’t, so I decided to hide in the bathroom until I regained my confidence.

                      I slowly trudged into the viewing room, to see my father hugging my mother a she wiped away her tears. My father turned around, and looked at me. He opened his other arms and I ran to him, and hugged him so tight. It’s amazing how unexpected death can be. Nana was always so smiley, and happy; but something was obviously wrong…since she died.

                      About an hour later, the burial service began. Rowan, Kasey, and their parents came. Some people from Nana’s book club, Dad’s brother, Mom’s cousin, and even Coach Patty came. It was amazing how many people knew my Nana. After all she was very smiley, and friendly.

                      Finally everyone settled down in their seats, and I walked to the front of the room nervously. I wiped away a few tears until I was ready to start my speech. “Most of you knew her as Jane Clara Simmons, I knew her as Nana. My smiley, happy, unforgettable Nana. I don’t know how different things will be now that she’s gone. She always supported me in my skating…” I wiped away a few tears, “she kept me going through all my frustration, and depression. She won’t be able to physically do that anymore; but in my heart, and my mind she will. She will still live amongst us, in our memory’s. It may have been more enjoyable, when she was living. But at least we knew her, so she can live inside us.” I wiped away more tears, and then I went and sat down with my parents. I buried my face in my mother’s lap and cried. Why did it have to be Nana why? I thought as I buried my face deeper into my mother’s black cardigan that smelled like her lavender body wash.

~

                      We sat in the light of day, as we watched her coffin sink into the ground. Such a beautiful, yet miserable day.

                      After the ceremony ended Kasey walked up to me, “hey, um sorry about your Nana.” She muttered lowering her head.

                      “Thanks,” I said lowering my head too. “I’ve missed you.”

                      “What do you mean?” Kasey asked.

                      “At skating.” I replied softly. “I miss skating with you.”

                      “Can we not?” she asked, tapping her heels on the ground.

                      “Yeah. I guess. If that’s what you want.” I said, fidgeting with my dress. I missed the old Kasey. The confident, figure skating Kasey. This Kasey just wasn’t…Kasey.

~

                      The drive home was miserable, it suddenly began pouring, and traffic sucked. So I sat in the back seat alone, thinking about how different everything is going to be. Who will take me to practice after school? Who will pay for my skating costumes? Who will understand me? Nobody.