Shattered Dreams

Chapter 12

        My hand moves on its owns as I doodle along the sides of my page. As my teacher drones on and on about the GAAP rulings, which I already learned last year, I can't help but zone out. The dream reoccured last night and now its plaguing my mind. This morning, I tried seeking out Jaxon at the park but he was nowhere in sight so I had just watched the sun rise alone, and then walked home with my dark thoughts spinning around my brain. Its been a couple days since I last saw him since he loves to skip class. 

        "Interesting drawing you got over there," My head snaps up and I find the man haunting my thoughts standing in front of me. I process his words before turning to my notebook, to my horror, there's a picture of dream Jenn with the maniac look in her eyes. I curse at myself for being good at art, every detail is on point. Jaxon slumps into the seat next to me but his eyes never leave my face. He raises an eyebrow at my lack of reply before adding. "Okay...no reply, thats strange."

         "Nice of you to show up to class for once, even if you were late." At my irritated tone, he raises both his eyebrows in disbelief before a smirk climbs onto his face. I narrow my eyes in confusion, whats he trying to do? I've never seen him as anything other than brooding and now here he is smirking and trying to make conversation. 

        "Why? Did you miss me?" My mouth opens in shock, something is really wrong. Did he just ask that? Is this even Jaxon anymore? My hand snakes out on its own, grabbing his chin. I look deep into his eyes to see if he's high but his eyes are clear. Turning his head side to side, I try to make sure its really him. Jaxon's smirk falls off his face and instead confusion replaces his amusement. When I knock on his head, he grabs my hand and gives me a quizzical look. "Are you okay?" A smile springs onto my face at the hostility in his voice. 

         "For a minute there I thought someone had taken over your body. I mean, you showed some emotion, it was so shocking!" A scowl jumps onto his face which makes me beam even more brighter. 

          "I can be pleasant if I want, you know." He mutters under his breath.

          "Really? That's a shocker." My smile slowly turns to a smirk. 

          "How do you think I get all those girls in my bed? By being an asshole?" I nod in agreement.

          "Honestly, yeah. I think most girls just sleep with you cuz your hot and they need a one night stand." Just as the words leave my lips, I realize my mistake. Jaxon's eyes light up in amusement before its overtaken by mischief. 

           "You think I'm hot." My cheeks burn and I turn my head towards the teacher, trying to hide my face. Sowly shaking my head, I reply, 

            "That's not what I said." When I look at him from the corner of my eyes, I notice that his face is back to him normal impassive look. Jaxon slowly leans forward so that our head are aligned right next to each. 

             "You implied that. C'mon just admit it, you find me attractive." I gotta admit, he's a fine looking man. I mean c'mon look at those high cheekbones, full lips, dark lashes, not to mention the really nice abs. I could keep listing them but that doesn't mean I'd ever tell him to his face. "You just did." My eyes widen as my head snaps up, did I just say that out loud. My classmates close to me are staring at me with incredulous looks. "Yes, you did say that out loud." My cheeks flush in embarrasement and I stand up. My teachers eyes flicker to mine before she continues droning on about the lesson, she must think that I'm just going to the washroom. I look at the people who heard what I said and mutter out, 

            "Please excuse me, I have to go find a hole to bury myself in." I try to keep myslef from meeting Jaxon's gaze but that doesn't stop me from hearing his low chuckle as he watches me leave the classroom. Escaping to the washroom, I lock myself into a stall and let out a groan. Ugh, why do I have to embarrass myself in front of everyone? I let myself wallow for a minute before standing up straight and walking out of the stall. I splash myself with water to cool my burning cheeks and then take a deep breath. Okay. It doesn't matter that he knows I find him attractive, its not like I told him I had a crush on him. I mean I find many people attractive, like have you seen Theo James? He's so hot, but that doesn't mean I have a crush on him, and I'm pretty sure he already knows he's hot. I also find Dylan O'Brien hot and Hugh Jackman is also- okay, now I'm rambling cuz I'm nervous. Shaking my head, I lift it up and then walk down the hall, back to my class. When I take a seat again, everyone is writing notes. For a minute, I think that Jaxon has forgotten about it but then he leans in and whispers into my ear.

           "So...did you end up finding the hole?" My back tenses at his proximity and his question. 

            "Yeah, its called the washroom but then I let go of my pride and realized that I didn't want to join Jenn so soon." Jaxon doesn't move back and his breath tickles my neck as he replies. 

            "I'm glad. I wouldn't want to lose you after just learning a bit about you. There's still more to learn." Lifting my head to meet his, I quietly reply, 

             "What about you? When am I going to learn about you? You practically know everything about me." Jaxons thinks about it for a while and just as he opens his mouth, the teacher dismisses the class and leaves. I slowly start to pack up my things as students stream out of the class. Finally, the class has been reduced to a quarter of it original size and I can hear Jaxon now. He fluidly lifts up his backpack in one hand and swings it onto a shoulder before uttering 4 words. 

               "Tonight, at my house."