Shattered Dreams

Chapter 19

Lifting my head to reassure myself, I raise my hand to the doorbell but pause right before I press it. The dark brown oak door in front of me used to be so familiar once but now standing in front of it, all I feel is anxiety, and guilt. Shaking my head a little, I try to get rid of my hesitation and press the doorbell. The voice rings around the house and soon I hear footstep nearing the door. I clench my fists and grit my teeth together to keep myself from backing out. I have to do this. The door swings open and I stare at the green eyes I've stared into multiple times. In my clenched fists, I can feel the soft brown hair that I've tousled a hundred times. 

"Blake,"I say breathlessly as my fingers shake anxiously. Instead of replying to me, he opens the door wider and lets me in. I follow him through the halls that I can walk through with my eyes closed. Everything is exactly the same, the huge wall of trophies still resides next to his bed, the bookshelf next to the closet is still overflowing causing him to place the extra on his table, and sitting on his bed is Hayley with a book in her lap. The only thing missing is Jennifer. While Hayley looks at home on his bed, I can't help but feel so out of place. But just taking a look at both of them reassures me that this was a good decision. Spending the day with Alex, Jaxon and Alyssa yesterday reminded me of my friends. I knew that if anyone was to mend this relationship, it had to be me. Honestly, it was actually Jaxon who recommended this when I told him what was on my mind last night after we dropped his Mom back off at the hospital. Coincidentally, it was also the 15th of the month today, and I had thought that what better day would it be to mend this friendship if not today. 

"Thea?" Hayley's quite voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I look up at her. She has abandoned her book as she sits up. Her eyes are filled with emotion and not for the first time today, I wonder how I could have left them. Before I can reply, Blake steps in front of me with a scowl on his face, something I've rarely seen on his face. Even the times I saw the scowl, it was never directed at me. I get an urge to cower but instead, I straighten my back and stare back at Blake defiantly. After a minute of our staring contest, he sighs and his eyes soften. 

"As much as I missed you Thea...what are you doing here? Its been almost half a year since you stopped talking with us." Leaning against the closed door defeatedly, I close my eyes and sigh. 

"You know I love you guys, right?" I start, but don't open eyes in fear of their rejection. Doubt starts creeping into my mind as silence responds to my question. Just as I open my eyes, Blake looks down at his feet and says gruffly, 

"Of course." His eyes lift up to meet mine. "As much as I wanted to hate you, I could never. I loved you for too long." Smiling sadly at him, I slide down so that I'm sitting leaning against the door. 

"I'm sorry I left without saying anything, but I guess I just needed time. I know that you guys needed me, but I needed something else to recover from Jenn's death. And now that I have finally found some kind of peace, I'm back." I look up from my feet to look at both Hayley and Blake's faces. "I hope you guys can forgive me...and fast. I never realized how important friendship is until just recently, and I can't afford to lose this friendship. I can't lose you guys." Tears blur my vision and I look down. Crap, I wasn't supposed to cry..why am I crying? A hand wraps around my shoulder and pulls me closer.

"It's done. I've forgiven you." Hayley's soothing voice washes over me and I sniff as I look up at her. "I've been waiting for you to come back, I'm not gonna lose you again because of my big ego." My 'thank you' comes out as a muffle. Looking past Hayley's shoulder, I notice that Blake's eyes have softened incredibly. When he meets my eyes, he shrugs and says, 

"X-box hasn't been the same without my partner in crime. You gonna play or not?"

---

This was an extremely short chapter hehe, but I hope you all still liked it. I finally got Blake and Hayley to reappear lol. School has been so stressful, I have no idea when I'm gonna update next but hopefully its soon.