This Thing Called Love

9

Gia

I finally got home and after fixing myself something to eat and showering, I'm not doing my homework. I was half way through my science homework when I heard the doorbell go off.

My heart started beating hella fast and my palms got sweaty after quickly remembering that Kadeem was coming over. What could he possible wanna talk about? I made a oath to myself: "Once an ex, always an ex" but am I willing to change that for Kadeem?

Maybe I'm over thinking. Maybe it was just sex, but- the doorbell went off again knocking me out of my thoughts. I got up from the island and walked over to the door. I opened and there he- wait Jordan?

"Oh hey." I said in an unsure tone.

"Hey." He said in the same tone then stepped back a little. "Expecting someone else?" He asked with his eyebrow raised.

"No no." I said, shaking my head. "Come in." I moved over to the side so that he could enter. Once he did and closed the door and walked back inside.

There sat Jordan on the couch, he looked as if he was in a really deep thought.

"Jordan." No answer.

"Jordan." I said standing in front of him. Still no answer.

"Jordan." I said a little louder now waving my hand in front of his face.

"Yeah." He said, looking up at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked then sat next to him.

"No, not really." He said, staring straight ahead.

"What wrong?" I asked slightly pouting. I hate seeing him like this.

This happens frequently with Jordan. He'll be good for a few days, then out of nowhere a wave of sadness just takes over for a really long time. He always tried his best to make sure everyone else around him was in a good mood so I'd try to do the same for him.

"Everything G." He said than rested his head on my shoulder.

"Like what boo?" I said while rubbing the side of his face.

"I'm not happy here." He said.

"Where? Az?" I asked. He just shook his head instead of saying no.

"Jordan please, don't think like that."

"I'm in constant pain Gia and I don't know why." He said then started to break down. "Why me bro?" He finished.

"Look at me." I said. He sat up and wiped his tears, then looked at me.

"You have a purpose in this world just like everybody else J. You might not feel it or you might not know what it is but you're here for a reason. Life's gonna get hard and you're gonna go through some shit but you gotta bounce back boo, for you." I said now wiping his tears.

"You live for everyone else but yourself baby, and that's never gonna be enough. You gotta start doing what makes you happy even if it might make someone else upset."

"But isn't that selfish?" He asked making me shrug.

"You can look at it that way or you can see it as putting yourself first. You have to look at the situation and think whose going to be more hurt in the long run. Since I've know you Jordan it's always been you. You'll walk around unhappy so that everyone else can be happy."

"I know but..." he started but I cut his ass off.

"No buts. Stop carrying the weight of others and putting yourself to the side. No ones gonna put you first if you don't. Okay?"